Oh my god. This story ripped my heart out- but the. The epilogue- my god, it's beautiful and heartbreaking and so bitter sweet. It's beautiful and thank you for posting it

Wow, this was a gorgeous story! Even with the missing chunk, the epilogue was enough to hint at the underlying development we missed, and made the story somehow satisfying.

It was probably nice not to have to work through all the heartbreak and angst and final get-together, but just slip into a beautiful, happy ending years later.

Thank you for sharing!

You should finish writing this story and turn it into a book.

WOW finally, you're back D
it's strange that it happens so quickly after i came back on your page, read your fiction send you this note about translating, visit your tumblr (to spend my nights on this, which really is NOT a good thing, ahah), and receive your message back. Only a few days for all of it, while I read this fiction months ago x) I'll maybe work on this one first, after all ... p
Anyway, about the new chapter : I like it. I like learning those boys are finally together and, more than that, what Tally thinks about it all. It's cute and somehow very realistic, the way she can't help loving them both despite the pain...
And really, thanks for finally posting this chapter. I think that this one is great, but honestly, I would have liked any chapter you may have posted p

First of all, I really and truly appreciate you putting up this epilogue, for it's way better than just abandoning the story and leaving us all hanging. So, thank you for that.

On the other hand, I wish you would add "discontinued" to the summary so that new readers, such as myself, will be able to decide on their own whether they want to risk falling in love with a story and their characters knowing that there will never be a proper ending for them. I really loved Josh and Caid, but I have a rule not to begin reading a story that hasn't been updated in several months since authors quitting their stories happens very frequently and I only found this story after you posted the epilogue.

So I have very mixed feelings right now... since you posted the epilogue I do get some closure for Caid and it was lovely seeing the kind of man he would become and his loving relationship with Josh, but still, it never feels good to get attached to a story that never really gets finished.

Anyway, I really loved your writing. I don't know if you've been writing something else, if so I might check it out. Cheers.

Even though this is essentially the end, I thought seeing through Tally's eyes is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Even if you lost interest over the years, I enjoyed your writing and look forward to seeing what you will come up with in the future.

Thank you so much for finishing this wonderful story! I was so excited to see the update and final chapter. It was so sad to see one so sad, and one so happy. There is hope for her, though, someday. :)

Heyyy there! Glad to see you're alright.

Oh Tally, I feel so bad for her. She's a very nice sister. I mean, I don't think I could ever face my brother without hatred if he ever take my lover from me. But I'm glad everything work out for Josh and Caid. They're so sweet, it gave me cavities.

Thanks for updating!

I knew from the very beginning that this story would break my heart. And it did. Such a bittersweet ending, but still a wonderful story.

Lovely, just lovely.

DS

I was prepared for the heart breaking news that this story was discontinued when I seen the alert in my email...but I hoped and prayed my mind was a dirty liar. Although this story will not be continued, I think this was a nice way of wrapping things up and I appreciate you doing that. It was fabulous...The whole thing. And I'm only a little bitter this is the end. Lol. I'm excited to see what's next from you though!

Anyway, here is a really sappy epilogue that I wrote ages ago, but was still fully planning on using. Here you go:

Five years later and it still hurts when Tally catches Josh looking at Caid like he’s the best thing to ever happen to him. Like he’s so full up of love, he doesn’t know what to do with it, reaching out to press his fingers on Caid’s knee so it has somewhere to go.

It hurts for different reasons than it did before, sure, but some part of herself is always going to be that twenty-five year-old-girl in love with her high school sweetheart, trying so hard for it to work, holding the crumbling pieces of it in her hands, wondering where the moment was when it all got away from her. That tender girl who loved her brother more than almost anyone, and didn’t want to deny him anything, even this biggest piece of herself. Even the boy she thought she loved. The boy she did love.

Sometimes she catches herself hating the both of them, especially this time of year, when it all went to shit that first time. When she moved back in with her parents for three months until she could remember how to do normal things without breaking down. She knows Caid can sense it, that he’s always been able to tell when she’s hurting, even though he can’t see it on her face. Times like these, and she swallows, leaves the room for a minute, and thinks of how much better things are for her now. How she’s got a full-time spot at a university and she’s up for tenure since the publication of her second book. How she’s got everything she’s ever wanted, except for one thing, and that one thing shouldn’t be making this achy desperation swell in her gut.

It’s summertime, and Tally gets coffee with Caid every Tuesday. He shows up in slacks and one of Josh’s dress shirts, and it doesn’t fit him right around the shoulders, and after all this time, neither of them can figure out how to dress themselves. But it’s fine, she thinks, it’s fine because they’re so lovely and warm that nobody cares what they’re wearing, ever, and Josh sometimes makes little jokes about Caid not being the only blind one when it comes to fashion, and it always makes the breath catch in Tally’s throat that Caid can laugh at that now, can let Josh call attention to it like the fact that Caid can’t see is something that makes him beautiful, exquisite.

And every time, it reminds Tally of two Christmases ago, when she walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, and Caid and Josh were on the back porch, facing each other and smiling, Caid with his hands on Josh’s elbows and Josh’s thumbs sweeping the tender skin under Caid’s unfocused eyes. How Caid had said, “Tell me what you see.”

How Josh had said, “You.”

“That’s not what I meant, Josh,” Caid said, smiling gently.

“Yeah, I know,” Josh said. “But it’s still my answer.”

And Tally had gasped and tripped back up to her room, tears pricking in her eyes and breath fiery hot in her chest. Torn between loving them both so much, what they were for each other, and feeling robbed at not having it herself.

Today, Caid is telling her about the renovations Josh is doing on their house, and how he wishes Josh would just call a guy about the damn pipes, but, “You know how he gets about these things.”

“Yeah,” Tally says, distracted and hot under the cotton of her button-up. She’s got a class in two hours, and she hopes the students have done their reading. Hopes discussion will flow better than it had last session. Hopes she’ll start feeling like an effective teacher one of these days.

Caid smiles, and he looks so different than he did when he came to her all those years ago. When he was defiant and ragged around the edges, weak and pissed off about it. Now, he’s easy and open, keeps one hand on the handle of his mug, and the other elbow hooked around the back of his chair. He’s twenty-five now, and she’s almost thirty, and she still loves him as fiercely as she did when she pressed her hand over her mom’s belly and felt him kick for the first time. So when he smiles like this, she’s so helplessly in love with Josh, too. Because he did that. That lazy bastard made her brother into this man. And maybe she should stop calling him a lazy bastard, but old habits die hard.

“I can’t wait to come see the finished product,” she says, takes a sip of her drink, ignores the niggling worry that she has a whole stack of papers to grade this evening.

“Yeah,” Caid says. “Josh keeps telling me he’s painted the walls piss-yellow. You’ll have to settle our bet that he’s shitting me.”

Tally laughs. “I wouldn’t put it past him, actually.”

Caid groans. “You know, neither would I.” But he’s smiling, still, not like a guy who may or may not have a house painted in various shades of hideousness, but a guy who can’t quite believe his luck. Which is stupid, and Tally wants to press her hand over his and tell him he deserves every shred of what he’s got, that she wants to give him more of it.

But she knows Josh has that taken care of. That anything Caid wants, and Josh will get it for him, and that all Caid really wants is Josh, so everything is always going to be fine. And that’s all Tally really wants for both of them anyway. Knows that’s all they want for her, too, no matter what happened.

In those first few months after, when she felt like all her insides were splintered and swimming in hurt, and Caid wouldn’t stop calling, wouldn’t stop showing up at the door begging her to be okay. Offering to give her anything, anything, except to leave Josh. When all of their conversations ended with him in tears, sobbing, saying “Tally I love him.” Love like it was borne in him. Like it was all of him. Like he never expected her to ask him to give it up. And she never did, of course, could never. Not after she found their letters. He was her brother. Her little brother. And Josh was the man she loved, had loved since he threw a dodge ball at her too hard in third-period gym, and looked guilty enough to puke when her nose bled.

Not after they’d spent those months apart looking like hollow men, and she’d wondered, the whole time, why they both looked like they weren’t living in their bodies anymore. How she’d felt when she read the words if you think this is working, you’re wrong. Tell me to come home, Josh, and I will. Tell me to come home, and I’m yours. Even before the knee-buckling betrayal and white-hot shame, the delirious hurt that clung to her for months after, there was a moment of bright relief to find them both again, in these words, in the afternoon a year later when she’d asked Josh what he’d written back. Knowing, before he said, that his letter was of course, two words, followed by please. Followed by I love you.

A breeze kicks up, sends her skirt fluttering against her bare calves, and Caid hums, tilts his head back to the sun.

Sometimes she thinks about how easily she could have lost him that night his car flipped over, and he woke up broken and halfway dead. But most days, she thinks of him this way, alive and happy and so in love, still, after five years. It’s catching, and Tally finds herself smiling, too, thinking of how she has so much to say, and time and words to say it with. How there are two books on her shelf with her name on them, and how her classes are almost always full to the brim with students who have just as much to say as she does.

The rest of it—someone to write her letters and fix up a house and see her, only her, always her—it’ll come. Of course it will come.

And until then, she’ll make sure Josh isn’t painting the walls piss-yellow, that Caid is ironing his shirts before his job interviews, and to let them buy her cheap martinis every once in a while, to relax, to remember that she’s young and cared for and appreciated for all the things she’s done, and all those she still has left to do—by Josh and Caid, and also, someday, by someone she’ll call her own.

so intense

Can someone please post what she said the ending was? Or the link to the post? Because I have looked multiple times and can't find it on either tumblr. I shifted through so much crap on both. And it seems like she won't bother updating her profile, so its pretty flipping annoying. Please and thank you.

Is there going to be more? It's too good for there not to be more :! I blew through this as hard as Caid wants Josh to it was so good!