|Reviews for An Open Letter to God|
| Dusk Dreaming chapter 1 . 4/28/2012
This is beautiful. Your writing is rich and evocative. Your thoughts are moving and fascinating.
Despite my being an atheist, this piece has warmed the frosty cockles of my heart. I'm touched by your honesty and devotion.
I hope you keep writing and sharing what's inside your soul with the rest of us.
| lizzyleefree chapter 1 . 4/1/2012
I really, truly like this. It so powerfully portrays that moment of surrender that is so intimate and individual, yet has been experienced by so many people.
| Rossers.138 chapter 1 . 4/1/2012
Well done :) That was really quite good :) if u hav time justr check mine out :)
| Shreds of Serenity chapter 1 . 3/31/2012
I want to say something cool as a review but this one's hit a little too close to home. Too close. And maybe I sound a little weird and disjointed right now but I wanted to write this before I lost the courage and closed my browser window. I don't know if you really are a Muslim or you've just written this basing it on Muslims. I don't know a lot of things right now and my general policy is avoidance, I'm a coward in many ways. But this poem is like someone went inside my head and pulled out all my thoughts and deepest fears and put them down in front of me in black and white. I've read a lot of your stuff, about your struggle, about your coming out. I think you're amazingly brave for that. For going through hell and coming out defiant and for doing all those things I can never, ever do.
I struggle everyday with myself over what I am, what I think I am, and what I should be. And a simple act of salat is so difficult, not because I don't want to but because every time I turn to Him, I feel like the worst hypocrite ever. And so afraid that He doesn't consider me worthy, that He won't accept what I have to give, afraid that He wouldn't care, wouldn't love me. And even though I know His love for us is seventy times greater than a mother's love for her child, still I fear He would hate me for what I want, what I feel, what I am. An aberration, an abnormality, a sinner. I probably don't deserve His love and acceptance and if I could change my thoughts, my feelings, my very nature, I would. And I've tried, but I can't. And it's the deepest, greatest pain of all, and the worst of fears; I never thought anyone could understand that, much less put it in words. And it is something I generally try to avoid thinking because it can make you plunge into the depths of acute despair and hopelessness, and I'm not one for extreme measures but it makes me afraid that I can feel so - I don't know, bleak, I guess. So I try not to think about it. Sometimes I succeed for quite some period of time before it comes back with a vengeance. See, the hardest part is that I can't even tell my friends except for a couple. I feel like a hypocrite. I guess I'm lucky to have even two who accept me for who I am and refuse to put boundaries on their love.
I'm just a Muslim girl tied in an ever on-going battle between her identity and sexuality, and I fear everything, every little thing you've included in this and more. It took me a long time, almost all my life so far to accept what I am. But I think 'realize' would be a better word here. Acceptance is still a long road ahead of me. But I hope that someday it'll be better. That Allah does love me, that He accepts, He understands. And I had to write this all, logged in, not anonymous because if I want to be better, not just different, but better - the first person I need to face and overcome is myself. And this is the hardest thing I've done in quite some time. I have always made excuses. Yes, how absolutely true that is! But I am so tired of them. I cannot change who I am and what I feel but I can try to better myself. And I can try to press my forehead to the ground and ask Him to help me face my fears.
Thank you. Thank you so very much for writing this. It makes it a little easier to face a lot of the things that weigh on my mind constantly. May Allah bless you , and you find what you're asking for, and more.