Reviews for The Outbreak
ScienceAddiction chapter 1 . 3/16/2013
Wow, perfect introduction.
alex-fan chapter 3 . 2/24/2013
Please, please, please update... pretty please
z-headfan chapter 4 . 2/16/2013
You REALLY need to update soon... I'm loving this story... and Alex sounds smexy
harrisonmarks chapter 4 . 1/31/2013
mesa likes it
Arrowinabow777 chapter 3 . 1/25/2013
This is awesome! I love zombies and you did a great job with this I felt a sense of dread as soon as I read about the little boy and how you described the boys posture was really creepy.
freddyburn chapter 3 . 1/25/2013
Ah, thanks for the mention **takes a bow**

It reads well
freddyburn chapter 2 . 1/10/2013
**cockes head to one side**

I got a mention?


Alright, it's an interesting chapter. Could do with expansion and a beta... I could do it if you want
harrisonmarks chapter 2 . 1/10/2013
okay, its an interesting chapter, but I would stongly suggest a beta.
freddyburn chapter 1 . 1/8/2013

My friend harrisonmarks pointed me in the way of this story and I have to say, he was right, this story has great potential. Going directly onto my favs.
harrisonmarks chapter 1 . 1/2/2013
Hey, return review, and I am happy that I returned the review.

Good intro. This story has potential. Things are looking good.

Will pass on some info my beta, freddyburn, passed onto me. Here it goes:

I would recommend reading other zombie fics on this site though. There are some pretty horrible ones out there and you can learn what to avoid. Equally, the really good ones will give you ideas for your stories.

If you can, get World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks. If you can't get it in book form, you can get it on iTunes- in both podcast and Audiobook (audiobook recommended as the podcast misses out large chunks of the book).

Watch The Walking Dead.

Now that I have passed that on, I have sent you a PM with the name of my beta and his stories. Read them. You mignt get a few ideas.
Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 1 . 3/30/2012
I see this and I go, "ANOTHER zombiefic? REALLY?"

To pull this off, you're gonna need to make this completely unique from the worn-out cliche. Poke around the site. Find other fics, see what the similarities are and the common weaknesses.

What I've seen so far in zombiefics:

1) massive casts of colorful, but poorly characterized, characters. There's always a "team"-like group full of diverse people, and it's a poorly developed dynamic. What I mean is, the leader's always a natural leader and nobody doubts him/her, there's an equal number of boys and girls, and everybody gets along without a hitch unless the author wants to create angst. Really, this would never happen. In a small group somebody would take control, but the others wouldn't consciously notice it at first. And realistically, there wouldn't be an even number of boys and girls, it seems a bit cookie-cutter. They wouldn't get along, either: with a group born out of necessity rather than chemistry, there's going to be conflicting personalities and people who piss eachother off and mistrust and they only stick together because THEY HAVE TO. Isn't that a much, much more interesting dynamic? Why, people of fictionpress? Why do you do this to us?

2) character reactions. Whenever something bad happens to a character, their reaction is to yell and scream about it, in a self-righteous rant to a friend (or friends), and then the friend's (or freinds') reaction is stunned, yet sympathetic, silence. It's easy to see why writers choose this reaction, it's the most dramatic one and the easiest way to show how the character is feeling. But it isn't realistic at all! Look up post traumatic stress disorder/shellshock in war veterans. They don't burst into self-righteous rants (NO! IT'S YOU WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE!) when they feel threatened, their reactions are much more varied and interesting.

3) random chapters entirely dedicated to "action scene LOL". Contrary to popular belief, you really don't need action scenes to make a story good. Having action scenes for no reason other than to have a "rlly c00l scene!1!" doesn't help with anything. People think action scenes are entirely necessary, but it isn't the action in them that is necessary, it's the emotion and plot development that comes from it. Fight scenes are GREAT for those two things.

4) random chapters entirely dedicated to romance. With no point or chemistry to the romance. Most zombiefic readers aren't in it for the romance, they're in it for the gore. Why do people think there HAS to be a designated love interest? What do you loose when you take out the romance? Nothing, usually. So take it out.

I'm not pissed or criticizing you at all, you haven't done anything wrong. None of the issues I mentioned even apply to your fic. I'm just saying, so many people have taken this idea and just butchered it, when it has SOOO much potential. This is absolutely fine so far. I'm just ranting about some stuff. The pissiness is directed at other authors, not you. Just... do some research and make this really fresh, K? I'm so tired of seeing good writers rewrite the same old shit.

Nothing wrong with a zombiefic. Just make it UNIQUE, so I don't have to keep calling it a zombiefic. This is a preemptive strike: don't let it fall into cliche. Please? From what I've seen, your way too good to waste your time with that.

Update soon, so I can talk about your story next time instead of ranting about other people's. :/.