Reviews for Hyperventilation Dance
Firestorm Nauralagos chapter 1 . 4/14/2012

... my brother has asthma ...

Very scary. Me likes :3
Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
Internal monologue is well-written, basic idea is terrifying, description is subtle enough. Nice job.

I'm not so sure about the second person: it's distracting and I don't think it adds anything to the story. That's my only concern.