|Reviews for Punishment|
| Nesasio chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
I'm really interested in this world you've introduced here. It's cool to see how the women seem to be in control here, and the men are second-class citizens or 'chattel' as you call them. Treated more like pets than anything else, it seems. Very intense.
I wanted to learn more about the society here. There were a few things that confused me, particularly who Elisa was to the townpeople and her role in the man's punishment. Toward the middle, her punishment for him seemed very personal, like she knew that guy from before and she had just been waiting for him to make a wrong move. Then toward the end it was like he was just another guy, so I wasn't sure the importance of their specific interactions. Did she sleep with him (specifically) because he was particularly bad or does she just do that with all the naughty chattel?
Interesting take on the prompt! Good luck in the WCC! :)
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 4/7/2012
Whoop, well this was super hardcore ._. Unique and creative piece though! I liked the twisted love story in the midst of this and everything, and it's not to often we get a sex-scene-of-sorts in a WCC, which I thought was handled well. I feel like if I was a guy this chapter would have made me uncomfortable, hahaha! Well, okay, I suppose I did feel somewhat freaked at the prospect of this actually being something real-good thing it's a fiction, lol. But this is certainly unlike anything I've ever read, so good job with that-it'll be one to remember! I thought you had dialogue that fit the situation and the time, and I thought the beginning description did a good job pulling the reader in, so I liked that too :) Good luck in the wcc!
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
I don't think I need to tell you how messed up this is. xD
I really liked how you started it with the horse stomping Tisha's head into the dirt. The way you went into such detail with the brains and skull created a really graphic image, and I think you right away let the reader know what type of story this is going to be (definitely rated M). The way Elisa commands all these people is just awesome, and how they can't do anything to stop her. I'm wondering if she's some type of witch or a sorceress or something from the way the bullet bounces right off of her.
["You always have control. I know that other women let their men top sometimes or at least orgasm, but you never let me. I just wanted to know what it was like."]
I get a lot of information about their society in these few lines of dialogue, as well as the type of relationship between him and Elisa. I think it's awesome how he's never allowed to orgasm - it shows the type of power she has over him. And from the sounds of it, it seems like the females in this society have a lot of control over the men - especially after what I saw at the end and what happens to him if he cums inside her. Which, the description of what happens to his penis, oh man, that's so terrible. I feel so bad for him. xD
I guess it's one of those lessons he'll never forget though, eh? He'll remember it every time he looks down or needs to go to the bathroom, heh. I like how Elisa keeps calling him chattel, too. Shows she only thinks of him as her personal property.
Such a demented ending, but I don't think it could have gone any other way. This makes me wonder how many men she has lined up to do her bidding just like him... kinda makes a girl a bit envious.