|Reviews for Hide and Seek|
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/22/2013
In the PV, it is seen near the end that he actually killed her. He ripped her limps apart.
| Kitty Phantomhive chapter 1 . 6/17/2013
lol fail. i liked it w
| Michael Dempsey chapter 1 . 4/22/2013
What a fun story! Fast-paced and quite creepy. Good job!
| Emma chapter 1 . 4/6/2013
I thought this was a brilliant story. It made me wanting to read more and it's so much like the song. Great job! Hope you made/are going to make a sequel
| Firestorm Nauralagos chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
I loved this!
I absolutely love reading horror, especially when I'm in a bad mood ... something about reading this type of stuff just makes me happy. *Psychotic creepy smile*
Sorry; I do that a lot...
I do the same thing on fiction press; I write a lot of horror oneshots when I'm angry/sad. xD
| Austin F chapter 1 . 4/7/2012
I disagree with the other review and I think this is a great story. There is no one way to do a possession story.
| CrimsonStylus chapter 1 . 4/6/2012
Well, it's a good enough attempt however, I do have some problems with certain parts of the story.
First, it's kinda weird that the main character refused to open the door for his/her classmate, even if they weren't friends. It doesn't makes sense to me.
Second, the song portrays a demon or dark spirit possessing people and force them to play "Hide and Seek". I find it strange that the door of the boy/girl's home would just open like that despite being locked. Even if the spirit managed to unlock it, why didn't the main character try to keep her from coming in?
Third, being possessed makes people, at best, have no control over their actions but the main character still has control and only urged to play "hide and seek". This could mean that he/she wasn't possessed at all, which kinda kills the creepiness factor.
The verdict, it's a good story but it's not scary, at all. I suggest changing the last part into something like this:
"My heart sank as she found me. She pulled me up with strength that I didn't know she had. She then sank her teeth into my neck, pain surged through my body as I can feel that something is coming into me. I screamed as the pain was too much until I fainted.
I woke up, not having control of my body. I saw Li was beside me, unconscious. My body began to move on its own as a dark voice spoke to my inside my mind. "It's time to play Hide and Seek. Let's find a friend to play with!" My head then turned to my sister, who probably just came from band practice. I cried "No!" in my mind but I still have no control over me. The voice called to her,"Hurry up and hide! It's time to play Hide and Seek!"
I think that losing control over your own body would be very scary, no? Anyways, there you have it. Keep on writing and try not to get too creep out from the song.