|Reviews for A Heart So Cold|
| Prodigee123 chapter 8 . 9/21/2013
| Ray-Anne chapter 13 . 7/24/2013
This was a really strange story to read...It was good. You certainly won't be the top selling with this but by no means is that an insult. In a constructive way I just suggest more detail, more rounded people, and a story line that is more full with a larger build up...Kinda got who the Master and Queen is but a lot of that is guessing. Kind of think there is a guild of assassins...but not really sure. Something about her father would have been great, ends in one chapter. There are just a lot of avenues to explore more. Especially as you've got a weird interesting...thing of modern/historical going on. All her terminology is modern, and even some of the things in the story, and yet it is clearly set in some...medieval time? Not sure. But the fact that it used both is interesting and unique, only wish it had been built more on I guess to understand the juxtaposition better.
Although I liked that your character had OCD, it's not often you find people who choose to write with that aspect...however I do suggest you do more research on it as many things were accurate and yet not all. Again, it'd help with a more full character ...Anyway, we will ignore as a therapist I actually know this stuff. Mind that I read professional books and still cringe at how awfully inaccurate things can be.
Moreover, ignoring all that. If I am to assume you do this for fun, and it was a pleasure for you to write; let me just say it was a unique pleasure to read and that you are a very good writer indeed. For a good pass of time, this was quite adequate :)
| Guest chapter 13 . 6/3/2013
This was a very funny story
| Seriah Black Sheep chapter 10 . 5/8/2013
I think it's interesting that the characters are so concerned with controlling their environments. Braden and Aurora love each other, but they know they shouldn't. I like how you brought up the question of whether what is between them is really "love," because neither of them have experienced much love in their lives.
I know Aurora's so emotional at least partly because of all that's happening to her, but I actually find it easier to understand Braden. I'm not sure if that was intentional? Or maybe that just depends on who's reading the story?
I like the story, but some of the terminology makes the setting a little confusing for me. Is the story historical, or does it take place in an alternate reality or a fantasy world? Some of the more modern references, like OCD medication and beer bottles, are throwing me off.
| smashthat chapter 13 . 5/6/2013
This story had so many twist and turns,ups and downs. I loved it I look forward to readin more ir your work.
| The Phoenix Girl chapter 13 . 5/6/2013
Aw it's finished! I'm glad that Braden came back and they are together now! loved the story and I really enjoyed reading it :)
| R. Ficst chapter 2 . 4/26/2013
Almost every time Braden speaks, he uses "your" when it should be "you're."
Like "Your safe." a voice told me softly." and again when he repeats it, later when he says "your beautiful," etc.
btw, I'm totally getting sucked in by the story. Loving it so far! :)
| Leasah chapter 13 . 4/15/2013
Oh my god! I can't believe it. I thought I had this on my alert list! I was just coincidentally looking through it when I noticed this wasn't there. So I went to check your profile and found this completed.
I loved this story so much, I can't tell you how much. It had been a while since I first started reading stories on fictionpress, but life had gotten busy and I kind of stopped doing it. Some months ago...about a year ago even, I think, I came back and searched for stories here. This was what I found first that caught my interest. After that I kind of got hooked up again and found other stories. But this story was the thing that flared my interest on this site again. So I wanted to thank you for writing such a good story and for bringing me back to fictionpress again. :)
I loved it and I love you. This was a wonderful ending. I'm so glad that they ended being happy together. Also, Braden is one of my favorite heroes...if not the most favorite. ;)
Thanks and may you always keep getting inspiration.
| Amiko chapter 13 . 3/20/2013
It's a good story, there are a few typos here and there but fairly good. I would like to provide some constructive advice, I in no way intend to sound mean just want to help you progress as a writer.
I wish you would put more detail into the story, maybe describe what her room looks like, what his room looks like, what the house looks like, heights of your characters, what the landscape looks like. What the distances are like. Is where they are living in a city? village? capital? I don't know and it isn't described. I can read this and sort of get a sense of the emotions of the story but I don't get a visual of what exactly it looks like. It's become very clear that Braden has a distinct scent but I don't know what it is. A description of that would be nice.
In the end, it's a safe house, and one can assume it's in a forest because Samuel goes hunting and getting firewood, but how far is it from where they were? Descriptions of everything would once again be really nice.
I liked reading about her counting the stones on his floor, but what about the walls? what is hus furniture made of? the sheets that she keeps straightening, what fabric are they? The papers that are different sizes, WHY are they different sizes?
I would love to hear a story for Samuel. Perhaps within the story for Samuel include how Aurora and Braden's marriage is going.
ahem Apologies, this review is longer than I intended, but I really must say, Great story. Just needs some polishing up.
| Liley chapter 13 . 3/19/2013
Wow... this story was so good! Loved so much Braden's and Aurora's love story.
I feel so sad now that it came to an end, i will really miss Braden and Aurora, i'm happy that they end up together, they are just so damn adorable.
| JustAnotherArtist chapter 13 . 3/16/2013
*groans* why did it finish so quickly? It was sooo good! Can you please write an epilogue? Pretty please with a cherry on top?
| JustAnotherArtist chapter 4 . 3/16/2013
It all clicked for me when David called her "Rory" and the ending is BANG! I like.
| xDangerousLovex chapter 13 . 3/9/2013
OMG I absolutely love this chapter! Awesome ending! I would love to read a sequel where they get married and start a family.
| HalfwayParanoid chapter 13 . 3/8/2013
This was good till the lemon. I liked it and you did great!
| KrysKrys chapter 12 . 10/7/2012
This was soo intense I hope you upload real soon!