Reviews for My Circus Nightmare
The Divine Redeemer chapter 11 . 8/16/2012
I wonder where you got Jake from ;) And I do not like to depress people! :P Anyway good chapter, keep writing :)
lostpoet211 chapter 11 . 7/30/2012
These chapters are short, but I really like the story line!3
phantom130 5 chapter 11 . 7/23/2012
Great update. Good luck thinking up ideas.
phantom130 5 chapter 10 . 7/23/2012
Nice chapter and wait, did you just call me a scandalous monkey hooker bastard? O_O
phantom130 5 chapter 9 . 6/30/2012
Alec is evil! Um... you should definitively have Avriella try to meet with Alec again, but other than that I'm not sure... If you'd like feel free to PM me and we can talk out some ideas :)
Dr. Shadow chapter 9 . 6/28/2012
i read it all in one go... lots of strange things are happening to this girl, I'll admit that... Update soon!
The Divine Redeemer chapter 8 . 6/22/2012
Hey! Cary and Mary sound very familiar to me ;) Very good, argument with anyone? (except for me) :) Keep writing Mari! :D
phantom130 5 chapter 8 . 6/9/2012
Darn cliff hanger XD

I'm glad we've finally figured out the one guy's name is Alec. I also wonder if Avariella's dream will place any significance later on. (I bet it will XD)
Miss.Dr.Pepper chapter 7 . 6/8/2012
At first i thought she was going to get raped lol
Miss.Dr.Pepper chapter 2 . 6/8/2012
I think your story is awesome, but in chapter 2, paragraph 3, you should of made it out like her family could actually be dead! you've wrote it like it's nothing.

But overall i've enjoyed your story
phantom130 5 chapter 7 . 6/4/2012
Oh neat, I'm wondering who this new character is. Hopefully in the next chapter he'll explain himself
The Divine Redeemer chapter 7 . 5/31/2012
Ohhh more excitement! People dead and human schools, me like :) Keep writing :P
phantom130 5 chapter 6 . 4/30/2012
Wow, this chapter is short, but it's good. I think the trick to a good mystery is to be subtle. First think of what you want the reader to know and what you want them to find out later (This is hard if you don't have your story completely planned out beforehand) But once you're able to plan out your story (Maybe jot it down somewhere so you don't forget, but don't post it until you're ready) It should be easier to think of exciting plot twists. With my writing I often start with an idea planned, but I don't start writing it until months after the idea comes to mind. This gives me more time to be inspired by other stories and build up new ideas for characters. I know it may seem like a lot of work, but all mystery is and once you finish it'll be worth it. :D
phantom130 5 chapter 5 . 4/30/2012
Great chapter. I'm curious toward how the idea with Damian supposedly becoming possessed with tie in with the rest of the story :P

Also I found it funny when you mentioned Avariella feeling like she was part of a horror story. Keep up the great work. :P
Indicates chapter 1 . 4/30/2012
Do not emulate the Hunger Games. Choppy disjoined prose is not a good thing.

Alost each sentence starts with I followed by a boring description of what she does. Cut to the action, get to the point quickly, and don't meander so much.
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