ElizabethKenton chapter 1 . 12/2/2012
Dude. Write better. But the gist of it is pretty funny.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/6/2012
I'm not quite sure if you're a Christian or an atheist. I'm an agnost myself, you see.

I think this perfectly depicts the stupidity of both sides. Kudos to you writer. I hope those bashers of yours look at the genre more carefully next time.
name chapter 1 . 6/7/2012
it seems that a lot of your reviewers fail to understand the concept of an ironic and hypocritical parody. i believe it was a job well done. i myself have had the unfortunate experience of running into people who have claimed themselves to be christian and have opposed the regulations of their religion countless times, all the while thinking that they are righteous humans. you painted that picture wonderfully.

the ending blew me away. the concept of "the light" being an approaching vehicle brilliantly portrayed closed minded mis-interpretation of phenomenon. it also gives rise to rational thoughts of irrational people, in the sense that people have a tendency to answer fascinating questions with what limited experience they have - with respect to your narrator, his knowledge is limited to that of god and godly deeds, therefore it is logical for him to answer this "phenomenon" with god, rather than thinking through the possibilities (and since his train of thought happened to be focused no god at that moment, it makes sense as to why he suggested god as an explanation for the "blinding light"; just as some reviewers here were exposed to the train of though that this piece was written be a devout christian, and their expectations were unmet, leading to a sort of psychological nausea). you also portrayed the limit of knowledge with the scientist - and yes, as a scientist i would have to disagree with that little thought, since my personal train of thought runs a little differently (:P), but the point has been made: the scientist sees what he was TRAINED to see, rather than answer the question with respect to ALL the possibilities out there. and there are many, many scientists that endorse religion and mysticism. in science, particularly, you do not prove things, you disprove them. similar to the famous saying of sherlock holmes (paraphrased clearly) "if all other possibilities are ruled out, the last one remaining, no matter how unlikely, must be true". and since we cannot scientifically DISPROVE god, we technically cannot say he does not exist (though i strongly believe more and more that man made god, rather than the other way around. christianity is a myth, just like the greek gods. what makes christian mythology any more real than greek mythology? it was believed to be true at the time, and there were written scriptures by HUMANS, as with christianity. but greek myths are no longer popular these days, in the sense that they are no longer worshipped by a majority, but anyway, that's my little blurb of a tangent)

i have no idea what i was talking about anymore, too many tangents - so i guess this concludes my review. points for you, negative points for some of your reviewers. and yes, that includes me in their eyes.

goodnight unto you all
kamelion chapter 1 . 4/26/2012
As extreme as your story is, it seems many of the comments here just proved your point. ;)
reginaacoelii chapter 1 . 4/19/2012
Sir, you are a Christian. A Christian shouldn't use the name of God in vain. His name is so powerful, we should handle it with care. I am a student of a Christian school and I believe this is unethical. I don't think God is with you. I believe a demon is possessing you. If you want to persuade the atheists that God really do exist, respect their beliefs first. In the eyes of God, we are all equal. I really regret that I've read this. You seem stupid and uneducated because of this story.
Guest chapter 1 . 4/17/2012
You're disgusting. This is disgusting. I don't know if you're an atheist or whatever, but stop it. This isn't funny, not one bit. It's sickening. If you're really a Christian and this is what you think then you need major help.
Guest chapter 1 . 4/17/2012
You're disgusting. This is disgusting. I don't know if you're an atheist or whatever, but stop it. This isn't funny, not one bit. It's sickening. If you're really a Christian and this is what you think then you need major help.
J.J. Robisson chapter 1 . 4/15/2012
As interesting as this is, I have to agree with FireWolfHeart. As a strong and independent Christian, I'm so confused why someone would

1)Curse while trying to prove that Christianity is the way to live;

2)Flip someone the bird while living as a Christian.

I fully intend to live as a misionary as soon as I finish college. I dare you to go up to an Atheist and tell them they're going to the depths of hell because they aren't Christian. Honestly, I have a good friend who is Atheist and if I told her a CHRISTIAN wrote this, she'd never come to Christ. As it is, I'm kind of disappointed that GOOD PEOPLE are going to hell at this moment and you may or may not be going to Heaven.

P.S. I'm printing this out and showing it to my youth group. It'll teach them that not all Christians are good.

You, sir, are a butt. And many other things.
Demortem chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
Bashers: I really do hope you 'read' the category this piece is under.

In simpler terms... *sigh*

THIS. IS. A. SATIRE. Now go sharpen your peas or PRAY TO GOD THAT I BURN IN HELL.


Ps. Most theists are fucking nitwits.
FireWolfHeart chapter 1 . 4/12/2012
Is... Are you serious about this? This is WRONG! I am a Christain, and I take my faith seriously. Ver seriously. I'm really hoping that you posted this as some kind of sick, twisted practical joke. If so... It's nor funny. Children need food, BUY HIM FOOD. Women can be raped, BY ANYONE, PRIEST OR NO. How can someone either a) So blatantly make fun of a cherished and treasured religion or b) be so blind in the ways of their own religion. GOD LOVES EVERYONE. EV-RIE-ONE. I hope you get your thoughts straight. Please don't take any of this the wrong way, I'm just concerned for you.
RandomReviewer chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
My. Goodness. I don't mean to be a criticizing b*tch, but how can a Christian write something like this, even if no one knows your real name? Christians would love everyone, even the atheists who don't believe, even if they don't want it!

There are also scandals I read about in a CHRISTIAN magazine that, yes, has priests raping children! And don't you dare bash a poor kid on the sidewalk, he's only trying to survive! So what if he can use the money to buy drugs? GET HIM FOOD INSTEAD.

Do whatever you want. Call me insane. Call me a b*tch. Call me a hypocrite. Call me an atheistic idiot who wants to throw you off the course of your so-called holiness. But I must let you know that I am just stating my thoughts as a CHRISTIAN and that if this was a joke, then you need to grow up a bit.

I don't like the way this review is turning out. It's turned into a deconstructive criticism that dehumanized me and you. I'm sorry to have offended you, I was just mad at your story, not you.


RedNoble chapter 1 . 4/9/2012
"who needs a fuking brain when you have faith,right?"

I died at that line. Practically chocked on my coffee.

"I gave her the middle finger. That'll show her."

I'm still LOL'ing from that.

At first I thought you were being for real and then I got the jist. You might want to put some sort of 'warning' at the top of this or you might just get flamed from 'almighty' himself's followers.