Reviews for The Masked Man
youknowwhoIam chapter 3 . 5/22/2012
the hallway is a good example where you could work on detail

But the detail about the moon and its feeling is a good spot

But when Annabelle's mother, I dunno how you wanted her voice to be. Stern? Soft? Worry? Caring? You never really mentioned it, unless I skipped passed it, but basically, I don't remmeber you saying how the mother's voice was when she said that Annabelle was going to get married to said man.

You were more focused on Annabelle, which is good, but don't forget the emotion of the others around her.
youknowwhoIam chapter 3 . 5/22/2012
You worked on your descriptions, yayyy. But You should remember to cover all descriptions. Not just adding a lot of description to one area, and skipping over the other. You're good at adding descriptions and emotions to some parts but you seem like you forget to add it to others or you want it to be inferred that this emotion is here, rather then say directly how Annabelle is feeling.