|Reviews for The Wrong Swing|
| TheCrystalShip chapter 1 . 4/9/2012
I really loved this, it has a great feel to it. In particular, the conclusion and the way that you described the melting of the bell really stood out to me. You did a great job painting a very vivid and surreal image. This whole story had a distant, dreamlike feel to it. You've got a great vocabulary, and your word choice was outstanding throughout.
| Jeldaly chapter 1 . 4/9/2012
It got very, very dull. Good writing doesn't mean using big words that people have to look up; I knew what most meant but 'pleached'? What is the point of using that? It slows down whatever story you're trying to tell. I understand using rich vocabulary to help the story, but not just to show off the fact that you know that word (or that's how it came across). It makes the prose annoyingly purple. Also, you spent, like, a paragraph explaining how smooth the transition between different types of ground was. This is useless information that also slows the story down.
| Robert Orville Berkshire chapter 1 . 4/9/2012
If this story were a woman, I would make sweet, sweet love to it. loljk, Pretty good. Your diction remains higher than mine. Had to look up a few words, including "pleached". At first, I thought you meant "bleached". Silly me.