|Reviews for Damaged Goods|
| TeenagerWritingForGod chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
I have Turners, but mine Isn't that bad. You need to not make it quite so bad.
| sarmichwakko chapter 4 . 11/5/2012
I LOVED IT! update!
| pizzagrrl97 chapter 4 . 11/2/2012
Hey it's Jenner.
This is really good! I love your writing.
| Caedenza chapter 1 . 9/22/2012
It seems a little far-fetched but I'm rolling with it. I just need an explanation on how she's going to pay for the lawyer. It would be a good idea to have some more insight on Harper's thoughts, maybe a POV?
Also, I think that the reactions of her siblings weren't quite as realistic as I'd imagined. Maybe they were confused about what they had done wrong, angry that after everything they had to sacrifice she was still suing them, disappointed, conflicted, or even agreeing with her that she should not have been born.
Oh, and in the last chapter, I think you switched POVs between the sister and the twin without any markers so it was like.. Whoa, who's talking what? I think I'll follow the story since the idea is so out there that I'm curious to see how you'll write the next scenes. :)
| KillaCupcakes chapter 2 . 4/28/2012
I think this is a very interesting story concept, very different from most YA stories on this site. It actually reminds me of the book My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. I do think the amount of illnesses Harper has are overkill but you've already acknowledged that. Also something that stuck out to me is that HallowE'en sister wants to be a nurse when she "grows up". I think that's cool. But nurses don't go to medical school; they go to nursing school. Just thought I'd point that out. Anyway keep writing. Your story has a lot of potential.
| Moxxy chapter 1 . 4/12/2012
Heyyy, it's me! :D
I really love this! You really should persue that dream of becoming an author because, honestly, its a gift to be able to come up with your own characters and storyline, etc etc. bcuz whenever I attempt at doing that... I fail miserably -.- haha anyways you are truely an amazing writer and I REALLY am enjoying this! :')
I cant believe shes gonna sue her own family! o.o ... Cant wait till u update! :)
| Jeldaly chapter 1 . 4/9/2012
? Blood sugar of 120? Sorry, that was what stuck out for me - maybe I misunderstood, but my sister is diabetic and she almost died with blood sugar of 80. You or I - non-diabetics - have blood sugar between 4 and 7, my sister's target sugar is 6 to 12, but numerous things can make the sugar go out of target.
About the story, you're a really good writer, but there were a lot of info-dumps in between the conversation. I kept forgetting that Dana was talking to Gabriella because of the long paragraphs of background information. Try to limit that, but I'll definitely read on.