|Reviews for Young Gladiators|
| Wingsoflinesia chapter 4 . 8/30/2012
I like it. A new twist to hunger games, kinda. Keep it up
| Indicates chapter 1 . 4/26/2012
[Hi, my name is Lucius. I live in Toronto, and I'm thirteen years old.]
Please don't start with this opener. Not only has it been done to death, its boring. It doesn't feel natural.
[Of course, this freaked everyone out. But the government assured us it couldn't possibly happen again]
...and that's it? The narrator just gives me the impression that its not that big of a deal. Its also incredibly vague. While it does mention a worldwide event, does it give any numbers to how many of those kids were from what race, nationality, from what family, etc? Also, from the way the narrator says it, there's only one government telling them that this won't happen again. What government? What do the other people say from the other countries? And why would they give such an empty statement if they can't even give a straight answer as to how this happened in the first place?
[Well, in 2004, but in a different day,]
Be more clearer than this.
[One time is a freak accident, but twice means there is clearly a reason to fear.]
There is no way that, even the first time around, it would be a 'freak accident'. This isn't an accident; this is very deliberate.
The opener needs a lot of work. So far it doesn't wow me. The setting needs to be clearer, so that this event is as freaky as it's supposed to sound.