|Reviews for Crossing The Line|
| ChocoBomb chapter 2 . 7/11/2012
Hey. I really enjoyed reading this, so thanks for writing something so awesome. The way that you used repetition in the story gave it an eerie quality. It's like a cross between poetry and prose. Your style is so lyrical. What you write gives vivid images, and the words that are repeated feel very strong. So far, it's a little confusing, but I don't mind. ;) I'll be looking forward to the next chapter you post.
| TheCrystalShip chapter 1 . 4/12/2012
This is brilliant. You did a great job fusing together elements of both poetry and fiction. The repetition of "some are pushed, some go willingly, some are dragged" is very poetic. The feel of this piece was consistent and strong. The surrealism, metaphor, and imagery throughout was perfect. You managed to say so much in such a short story. There isn't a wasted sentence here.
Right from the beginning you had me hooked. This section stood out to me:
"The bringers of knowledge, some call them. The bringers of intelligence, insight, and progress. Harbingers of destruction I call them. Destroyers of hopes and dreams, messengers of desperation, greed, and selfishness."
The multiple perspectives offered here parallel the "refrain" of "some are pushed, some go willingly, some are dragged".
I may be totally off on this, but I interpreted this as the little girl being a younger version of the narrator. The picture you painted of the narrator interacting with the girl from behind the Line is a very memorable and unique one. This section is beautiful: "I will sit and talk with the little girl and ask her to show me all of her most special toys. I will cry with her on days that there were bullies, and on the day her uncle dies. I will keep vigil with her by The Line, but I may never cross it." I can tell you put a lot of thought into how you worded those sentences, and the result is incredible.
Thank you for sharing this story, I loved reading it!