Reviews for Peut Être
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 32 . 9/17/2012
I like the message here. The need for forgiveness, I think, is a universal human characteristic and thus something everyone can relate to. I feel like the wording is again a bit simplistic, because, again, it's one of those ones where I feel like you didn't make the most of every syllable. But the meaning in it at least partially makes up for that.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 31 . 9/17/2012
I think you do a nice job conveying the tone of the piece. Metaphorically turning tears into a "sad song" and a "mournful melody" (nice alliteration, too, though both of those are a bit overused as descriptions). I'm a little confused by the last line, though. Why would someone *want* that kind of a song to keep playing? It throws me off a bit.

- Moonstar, courtesy of the review game's review marathon - link in my profile
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 27 . 9/17/2012
I like the exhilarating feel in this - it feels wild and primal, and very alive, emphasized nicely by your word choice.

I don't quite get the meaning in it, though (it's a bit confusing). Is this person *afraid* that they love the dark more than anything? I understand being afraid of the dark, or something in the dark, but I've never heard of being afraid of loving the dark and it seems a bit strange.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 26 . 9/17/2012
I like the message here. Doing anything for a loved one is always a powerful thing to draw from and it works well in this instance.

Formatting/build wise, I like the way you have "Anything for you" set off on its own at the end. It compiles the whole meaning of the poem in a single, powerful little clip at the end.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 25 . 9/16/2012
I like the tone again here. It paints a loving picture that emphasizes how almost super-human someone we love can seem.

The word choice is a little cliche. "Stars in your eyes" in particular, has certainly been said many, many times before and thus doesn't jump out as very grabbing or original. But I don't think it ruins the piece. It still has a loving feel to it.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 24 . 9/16/2012
Gorgeous imagery. I've always loved the ocean, and it was once a very big part of my life, so that helps, but I simply thing you did a great job painting the picture of beauty that it can be as the waves roll in and catch the light (of sunlight or moonlight).

The tone, too is nice. It's peaceful to read - calming in the sort of way only great feats of nature (the ocean, the stars, great mountain ranges in the distance) can be. Lovely job. :)

- Moonstar, courtesy of the review game's review marathon - link in my profile
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 23 . 9/16/2012
Hm, I don't like this one as much. Part of it is that I can't really "get" the poem without knowing what part of Cassiopeia's story that was (frankly, I don't know any of her story, so that ties in). I feel like even when you allude to something else, though, the poem ought to be able to stand on its own and have at least some meaning to take away from it.

I do like the word choice of "divine" in this instance, though, since it serves a double meaning. While it can simply mean "beautiful" in this case, she did end up literally as a divine being, cast up in the stars. So, nice work there.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 22 . 9/16/2012
Love the message here. Writing is far too often overlooked as an "art" form, but it is absolutely in the same category, and I like how you drew in familiar verbs associated with "art" (painting and drawing) and used them for describing how you build up art with your words.

I also like the imagery. Imagining someone "drawing doodles with script" has a sort of floating, picturesque - almost dreamlike - quality to it where the artist is scrawling swirling text and the words come to life on the page. Very neat. :)

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 21 . 9/16/2012
Aww, how sad. XD Although I suppose that makes me a kid to get that feeling out of it, according to the poem...

In any case, I like it. It's an interesting twist on "seeing is believing" (sometimes, even if you *can* see it, it doesn't mean it "exists"), and I think you organize it well. It has a very balanced feel to it, word wise.

I don't think the meaning is quite fair though. Just because you could never actually *get* to the rainbow and you'll never be able to touch it, doesn't mean it isn't real for exactly what it is: a play on light. Since a rainbow *is* just that, doesn't mean it's not "real" it just means it's not touchable.

But I'm over-analyzing. I think it's a cute little poem, and an interesting message. Don't let my rambling get to you. :)

- Moonstar, courtesy of the review game's review marathon - link in my profile
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 20 . 9/16/2012
Love the picture this paints. It's surreal (since we're dealing with souls) but still bright and uplifting.

The tone is also great. It gives of a feeling of shameless beauty and inspiration. Nice. :)

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 19 . 9/16/2012
Ah, see here's another one where the surface message is there, but it applies to so many other things, too on a deeper level, very nice. No matter how you might be cut down and thrown away like you're worthless, always, always grow back and keep fighting - you're beautiful. Haha.

Also, the imagery itself is nice, because I agree, who doesn't like a pretty bright clump of dandelions? And they're such fighting spirits, too. All the more to love.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 18 . 9/16/2012
I like the criticism in this. It's something that I've wondered at before, and it's extremely frustrating - people who never change their opinions on anything regardless of what information they're presented with, their thought patterns always moving in the same direction.

I also like the suggestion that change is *natural* and that it's awkward and unsettling (confusing, even) to come across those who refuse to change or accept change in things around them. Nicely portrayed. :)

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 17 . 9/16/2012
Heh. I like the contrasting "surface" meaning with what is implied by the words. At first, it feels happy and upbeat, almost childlike. But if you think about it at all, it speaks out to the tenancy to "follow like sheep" or "go with the crowd" regardless of whether we know what's right or wrong or what we're even doing. Kind of a dangerous mentality.

The setup/word choice in this isn't very lyrical. Nothing really jumps out at me. But I think you make up for this with the meaning behind it all.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 16 . 9/16/2012
I love the imagery set up by the opening line. "Majestic spirals" seems so fantastical and awe-inspiring, and the second line emphasizes that.

I'm a little disappointed by the last line, though. It feels...meeker in comparison to the first two lines. It's not bad, but it doesn't deliver anything of its own (since the fact that these spirals were reaching eternally heavenward was already mentioned).

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 15 . 9/16/2012
Nice imagery again. I love watching storms, and I think you use your words well to paint that image of white streaking across the sky and lighting it brightly up if only for an instant.

I don't feel like I can apply it to anything else, though. While it paints a nice picture, I can't find a "meaning" in the poem, so it comes off feeling a little one-dimensional. Not always an issue (it's not *necessary* to have a "deeper meaning" in every poem), but sometimes it feels like there ought to be one.

- Moonstar, Courtesy of the review game's review marathon - link in my profile
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