|Reviews for Beginners|
| empiresofwater chapter 40 . 10/30
I really liked this chapter! I liked how you dealt with the change in mood, and I'm interested in Jamie's changing feelings, especially towards Walter. I like how intriguing the relationship he has with his family is as well. I look forward to seeing how this plays out :)
| empiresofwater chapter 39 . 9/5
Wow, what an intense chapter! I was so shocked when Helena kissed Jamie, and even more shocked at his reaction to it! This update was full of tension and emotion, and the ending with Walter returning rounded it off so nicely. Can't wait to see what happens with Walter and Jamie now :)
| empiresofwater chapter 38 . 6/23
Well, I'm finding the interaction and relationship between Jamie and Walter's father pretty interesting! And it's intriguing how he's being manipulated still and he's not sure of people's intentions for him! I wonder what is in store :D
| Yukilin chapter 37 . 5/28
Awesome story. The only thing that annoys me really is the main character Jamie. Just how young and inexperienced can Jamie be that he can't be resourceful (marine connections) to find a job, get a college scholarship, or even to do something other than sleeping when there's no drama. Every time Jamie does something awesome that shows he's not a pushover, he's already waiting to sleep (or sleep with different people) the next chapter or so. This makes Jamie seems two dimensional with a slut like mindset. I can't help but to agree with the comment that Walter made to describe him being beauty without any brains. I'm rooting for Jamie to be a marine of caliber not easily pushed or shoved based on his lower head, but so far it seems with every man that walks into his life he is trying to make up his marine years. I wish there was more depth or better internal struggle to show that he isn't just a pretty face. So far all the vibes lead my thought process to say 'wow, so this is how trophy wives become what they are. Or this is how someone without a (marine) backbone lives off of another'. I'm looking forward to seeing Jamie grow in all manner. It would be nice if every first thought isn't about only how nice that guys looks or what he would be like done by that guy. Instead it would be nice to see him observe the looks and manner of a man.
I can't see him being an (believable) equal in a relationship with Walter if there isn't any upward growth. I say this to point out each time Walter tells Jamie what he wants to hear, Walter's action (not really upfront with his plans,very secretive) speak louder than words. As an aside note: it's easy if Walter gets a surrogate to carry on the family name.
Overall you got me hooked on your story, and I want everything for Jamie to come through alright (better, stronger, not a moocher, and smarter). I can't wait to see what happens next.
| LorrahBear chapter 1 . 5/10
This is a really solid opening, and I'm glad to see that you opted to write more, as the ending of this chapter really invites additional chapters. You've done a great job hooking the reader. :)
As far as possible suggestions go, I didn't see anything glaringly out of place, so how about some overarching ones (that you should feel free to ignore, of course, if you want. :). Suggestions only!)?
At times, things felt a little over-explained, like specifically how after the first paragraph you give us a one line about how he didn't even know he was gay, when you've essentially ended with that same announcement in the last sentence of the previous paragraph. Perhaps slimming a few lines down here and there would help things to feel more natural?
Anyway, I really enjoyed this introduction to your story. Fantastic job!
| empiresofwater chapter 37 . 5/8
What a vivid chapter! I could just imagine this happening, and the sight of Walter and Helena's father! You described him in such a great way, I could see why they were intimidated by him. It will be exciting to see where things go from here, with him around!
| empiresofwater chapter 36 . 2/29
This was a great chapter. I really enjoyed your descriptions of Jamie's uneasiness, and his feelings for Greg. He seems to be getting more and more into trouble now, and the Spanish really shows that, as it gives an idea of how out of his depth he is!
| Mindluver chapter 1 . 12/21/2015
| empiresofwater chapter 35 . 12/20/2015
Oh this was a really nice chapter! I loved the tense dynamic between the three, and how Jamie doesn't quite know how he fits into it all. I really liked how you explored how he compared himself to Greg, and his attraction to him, which he is trying to ignore! I wonder how Walter will feel about this happening!
| empiresofwater chapter 34 . 12/6/2015
What a great chapter! I liked Conchita and the maids' subtle manipulation of Jamie and his little conversation with Walter, which suggests there's more trouble coming for them! I've got a feeling it may involve Helena, or her husband Greg! I'll be interested to see what happens :)
| empiresofwater chapter 33 . 11/10/2015
What an intense chapter! I felt so sorry for Helen, and how awkward it must have been for Jamie to witness something like that. And it's so interesting how you write how out of place he feels! I wonder what will happen next :)
| empiresofwater chapter 32 . 11/4/2015
Great chapter! I loved how you used the Spanish, to show that Jamie is so out of his depth! It's interesting how he was quite intimidated by beautiful Helena as well, and seems 'thrown to the lions' almost at that party! Exciting stuff :)
| empiresofwater chapter 31 . 10/16/2015
Great chapter! I loved how you described excitement, but also his hesitation, especially at the airport! It looks like Jamie has a lot waiting for him!
| empiresofwater chapter 30 . 8/14/2015
Oh wow, what an intense chapter! I loved this line: 'my high, squeaky voice cracked like a piece of glass.' That's such lovely description! I could just picture those guys at the door too, towering over poor Jamie. Hopefully Walter has a plan, I like how he's come in like Jamie's prince in shining armour! Great update :)
| empiresofwater chapter 29 . 8/1/2015
That's an interesting suggestion that Walter might be using Jamie to get back at his father - I hope that's not the case! Anyway, Jamie was so sweet in this chapter, trying to put Walter in his place and tell him off for sweeping into Sheila's home and acting like he owned it! I can just picture the lounge covered in litter and bottles from the night before. And I wonder who has come to the door! Great chapter :)