Reviews for Beginners
empiresofwater chapter 49 . 10/22
Oh, interesting! I like the twist at the end of this one. I love the theme of Jamie's split loyalties in this, I am interested to see who he comes through for.
empiresofwater chapter 48 . 8/29
well, I have to say, I like the sound of Sarah! She seems pretty interesting. I enjoyed the twist at the end of this chapter - I'm interested to see how Jamie being alone will force him to make decisions for himself, and see how he handles it!
empiresofwater chapter 47 . 7/11
Well I loved this new chapter, especially the descriptions of the rain and Jamie's feelings of imprisonment, even though he was in such a nice place. I notice that a lot in your stories! I'm hoping he gets involved more in this complexity around him!
empiresofwater chapter 46 . 5/7
That must be so annoying to not have your stories updated on the main page! Luckily, I've never had that happen to me, but I don't know what's happened there. The 'update' says it was last updated in April, but here are your two brand new chapters! Anyway, this was great, though short which I totally understand. Again, I love Jamie's vulnerability and his confusion over the complex events happening all around him.
empiresofwater chapter 45 . 5/7
I loved this chapter! I could just feel Jamie's unease throughout all of it, and the manipulative nature of the people around him. I love all his conflicted interests and how he sometimes feels so vulnerable, which I love in characters! I also really liked this line: 'The only real woman in the room'!
empiresofwater chapter 44 . 3/12
I liked this! I'm excited to see what part Steve will play. I imagine there's more confusion for Jamie in the future - I hope he manages to become more confident in himself and grow! Most of all I hope there is more intrigue too lol xD anyway great update, I wonder where you will go with this development! :)
empiresofwater chapter 43 . 2/20
What a dramatic twist! I felt sorry for poor Jamie! This was an interesting new side to Helen too, I loved that image of her coming into the cell and stamping on that cockroach - it really showed her character! Oh, and Sheila coming there to help Jamie at the end was quite touching!
empiresofwater chapter 42 . 1/22
I enjoyed this chapter, and its insight into Jamie's feelings. I want to know what happens with Helen and her relationship with Jamie - I can't see it ending well! It seems Jamie has a lot on his plate at the moment, though I always find it funny that he has time to nap lol! That's quite cute.
empiresofwater chapter 41 . 12/19/2016
Wow, it seems that Jamie doesn't know what he wants! First Walter then Helen then Gilbert too - he needs to get his act together lol! Anyway, this was a great chapter, the tension was really interesting between Jamie and Helen, I liked how you wrote the awkwardness and his conflict into the sensual scene. I wonder what Walter will think!
empiresofwater chapter 40 . 10/30/2016
I really liked this chapter! I liked how you dealt with the change in mood, and I'm interested in Jamie's changing feelings, especially towards Walter. I like how intriguing the relationship he has with his family is as well. I look forward to seeing how this plays out :)
empiresofwater chapter 39 . 9/5/2016
Wow, what an intense chapter! I was so shocked when Helena kissed Jamie, and even more shocked at his reaction to it! This update was full of tension and emotion, and the ending with Walter returning rounded it off so nicely. Can't wait to see what happens with Walter and Jamie now :)
empiresofwater chapter 38 . 6/23/2016
Well, I'm finding the interaction and relationship between Jamie and Walter's father pretty interesting! And it's intriguing how he's being manipulated still and he's not sure of people's intentions for him! I wonder what is in store :D
Yukilin chapter 37 . 5/28/2016
Awesome story. The only thing that annoys me really is the main character Jamie. Just how young and inexperienced can Jamie be that he can't be resourceful (marine connections) to find a job, get a college scholarship, or even to do something other than sleeping when there's no drama. Every time Jamie does something awesome that shows he's not a pushover, he's already waiting to sleep (or sleep with different people) the next chapter or so. This makes Jamie seems two dimensional with a slut like mindset. I can't help but to agree with the comment that Walter made to describe him being beauty without any brains. I'm rooting for Jamie to be a marine of caliber not easily pushed or shoved based on his lower head, but so far it seems with every man that walks into his life he is trying to make up his marine years. I wish there was more depth or better internal struggle to show that he isn't just a pretty face. So far all the vibes lead my thought process to say 'wow, so this is how trophy wives become what they are. Or this is how someone without a (marine) backbone lives off of another'. I'm looking forward to seeing Jamie grow in all manner. It would be nice if every first thought isn't about only how nice that guys looks or what he would be like done by that guy. Instead it would be nice to see him observe the looks and manner of a man.

I can't see him being an (believable) equal in a relationship with Walter if there isn't any upward growth. I say this to point out each time Walter tells Jamie what he wants to hear, Walter's action (not really upfront with his plans,very secretive) speak louder than words. As an aside note: it's easy if Walter gets a surrogate to carry on the family name.

Overall you got me hooked on your story, and I want everything for Jamie to come through alright (better, stronger, not a moocher, and smarter). I can't wait to see what happens next.
LorrahBear chapter 1 . 5/10/2016
This is a really solid opening, and I'm glad to see that you opted to write more, as the ending of this chapter really invites additional chapters. You've done a great job hooking the reader. :)

As far as possible suggestions go, I didn't see anything glaringly out of place, so how about some overarching ones (that you should feel free to ignore, of course, if you want. :). Suggestions only!)?

At times, things felt a little over-explained, like specifically how after the first paragraph you give us a one line about how he didn't even know he was gay, when you've essentially ended with that same announcement in the last sentence of the previous paragraph. Perhaps slimming a few lines down here and there would help things to feel more natural?

Anyway, I really enjoyed this introduction to your story. Fantastic job!
empiresofwater chapter 37 . 5/8/2016
What a vivid chapter! I could just imagine this happening, and the sight of Walter and Helena's father! You described him in such a great way, I could see why they were intimidated by him. It will be exciting to see where things go from here, with him around!
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