|Reviews for Ghost Horse|
| Jahren Burke chapter 7 . 10/14/2012
it was pretty good.
| Ram Attra chapter 1 . 4/23/2012
I love this story the characters the deatail the stroy line and the title of the story!
man if i was a publisher this would have been on the shelfs a long time ago.
and i have a litle bit of luck here since someone is so amazing can you reveiw my story and possibly give some feed back for improvement or good thing in the story :)
Mate but this story has nothing wrong with and you shall cary on!
| Kay Iscah chapter 8 . 4/23/2012
I would strongly consider reposting this as a single chapter or at least fewer chapters. Most of these are barely longer than a paragraph. There's not enough time, even for a young reader, to really get involved with what's happening.
Consider breaking the paragraphs up more and varying their length. When dialogue is involved, it tends to read more clearly when each speaker gets their own paragraph.
Longer paragraphs are fine, but they should carry some central idea or theme. Action, action, action, breath, action, dialogue, response, action, action. It's a waltz of words.
I really couldn't get into reading the actual story because you've made it too much work to read it. Which is shame, cause I like ghost stories, and there's nothing off putting about your grammar.