|Reviews for Blood, Sweat and Moronic Teachers!|
| Vivace.Assai chapter 2 . 4/21/2012
[Mrs Penny] Not sure how you do it in Britain but I believe there should be a period after "Mrs"
[the door creepily creaks open like one of those horror films that make you wet your bed... The crooked hag creeped into the room like the she-devil... on crutches.] Tense shift between the first sentence noted and the second one. One's present tense and one's past tense so... and... I don't think you wanted me to be this technical in my review, right? Sorry... I've been writing reviews dealing with technical things a lot for the past couple of weeks. So, it's a force of habit.
I like where this story is going. Raiden is definitely a fun type of character who is a perfect narrator for a story like this. He has some attitude and he's great at giving an exaggerated feel to the narration. Your use of exaggeration with the plot continues to make the humor pretty humorous. Your description of Mrs. Penny was nicely done - though your narrator says he isn't going into details, you managed to give me a great image of this terrible woman. As for the ending of this chapter, very intriguing. I can't wait to see what will happen next and just what is going on.
| Vivace.Assai chapter 1 . 4/21/2012
Interesting start to this story. I don't really read humor that much but I find this prologue to be nicely humorous. Your humor derives from the situation and a slight exaggeration of a familiar scene - this allows the humor to be more long lasting in my opinion. It isn't an instant laugh and that's it. It's a humor that is has a wider span of effect.
Grammar and spelling is pretty good, too. I didn't see anything of concern. And your short but punchy sentences nicely add to the humorous tone of this story. Curious to see what shall happen next.
| Isis 47 chapter 1 . 4/21/2012
Aw! Poor kid! And that mean old witch; you should end up killing her off for tearing the teddy s head off. BTW, if I review this, can you review something OTHER than Jokes? All that people read is my Jokes, not anything I actually put WORK into.
Continue this ASAP, I'm sucked in now.
| sparkyzebo chapter 2 . 4/21/2012
This pretty good. I like how Raiden uses cartoons and other things that evolve around kids between that age. It really buts you in his mind!