|Reviews for Sound and Fury|
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 9/27/2015
This is for a WCC review that Dr. Self Destruct won Sept 2015.
Plot - Really like the concept of this, but no surprise, I think you've heard that and you know you nailed it, especially given how the info of the plot is revealed! The AI facet was great and I liked how the plot here unfolded slowly and became very much like a circle, we end where we began. Nice touch.
Opening - I think the opening had the strongest setting info in it. I would've liked more in that close 3rd to get that setting depth again throughout, but I think to do that this would have to become a much longer short story. I did like the disorientation though, and I think it signals to the reader that right away something weird is going on and it's not entirely normal.
Writing - Enjoyed your style in this besides what I talk about in the next section :) Overall though writing-wise, the decision for the short sentences works! I found it distinct and I liked the style of having the numbered sections. Like I said, I think this has a lot of potential where it could be longer and we could spend more time zooming in and out of your narrative voice and also with things like setting, BUT what you've got here was an enjoyable read as well. Hits hard and most importantly, it's not *quite* like anything I've seen before in regards to AI technology. You've got a really nice angle!
Other - The only thing that was odd to me in this piece was the narrative distance. You follow the MC in third person the whole time, so there's no POV switching - but it almost *feels* like you've POV switched when we get that moment after the first section and the narrative is completely pulled back. I didn't like how quick that happened... It was a little like a jolt and it made me actually glance back to see if we *had* been in 1st in the first section since you wrote such a close 3rd. I'm wondering if the piece could ease into the narrative distance - because once it's lost and we're zoomed way out, I don't think it ever regains it's footing. Zooming in and out with less jolt is really my only advice!
Great piece, glad I got a chance to read it!
| alltheeagles chapter 1 . 9/21/2015
Opening: Definitely a serviceable, if not especially memorable one. Function-wise, it hits the right button for ‘sparking curiosity’. It fits the rest of the scene and helps to introduce the MC, so yep, it works.
Premise: Very interesting and quite unique. It’s also plausible – they managed to insert dead actors in movies, so why not a dead singer? They already did that, anyway, with Nat King Cole.
Theme: What makes us, us? That’s always a nice question to raise. We are the product of our times, and this guy, whoever he is, can only be who he was. I liked the digs at marketing and the chase for ‘currentness’. The MC’s resistance was a nice touch though.
Technique: There’s hardly any background and we don’t even know what the MC looks like or his name, which is the kind of comment I’m always getting. Nevertheless, the story works because of its premise, so that’s impressive!
| Everfew chapter 1 . 6/23/2015
Wow, well written and believable, but the subject itself is uncomfortable because it hits where it hurts.
| a-perpetual-hiraeth chapter 1 . 6/16/2012
There is no word in the English language for how wonderful I think this is. Keep writing, please.
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 5/3/2012
Wow, I gotta say, I had shivers when I got to the end of this, especially when seeing how the beginning of this story isn't the first he was brought back and is only the beginning of a vicious cycle. There's so many things I enjoyed about this, I don't really know where to begin, so sorry if this sounds like a whole lot of gushing, haha.
First off, the imagery alone is amazing. The flow of the sentences, how you use short sentences and fragments to get across the tone, was so nicely done. And the story itself, hell, there's so much packed into just this one short-story. Like how it's kinda scary how one man, with all his fame, can have such an impact on the world itself. Then there's the other scary thought of how technology may be able to bring us back from the dead unwillingly in the future. It's all very eerie when you think about it.
But I think the saddest part is that this man, this rockstar who knows his old work inside and out, can't produce the same quality music because he's gone through death - one could almost argue that it was his soul which gave him the drive to create, and now that it's been dulled by death and mangled by technology, it's just not there anymore. I can't imagine how frustrating that would be... being given a second chance at life, a life that was so rich and filled with inspirational music, just to be unable to continue producing that which used to come so easily to him.
The dialogue was also a joy to read - very believable and natural. I really can't think of anything to critique - I'm just so thrilled that I happened to stumble across this while lurking the endless dregs of fictionpress, haha.
I had a couple random thoughts while reading:
[Over the crowd, another voice booms out.]
Since 'booms' already implies a loud noise that goes outward, I think you can drop the 'out' to keep more emphasis on the booms, which makes it sound more dramatic, I think. I really like that word: booms. Hehe.
[He spits out music like fire into the night, blowing lamp oil words through a microphone torch.
And when he's done, there's nothing left but embers and silence.]
I can't tell you how much I love these two lines. Really, they're just damn awesome, the metaphors you use and the emotions/images they hold. The way you compare his music to fire is just beautiful, and it makes me think of rock-and-roll. Very nice!
[Clack. Flick. The end of the cigarette ignites.]
Very cool use of onomatopoeia here - I have an affinity for main characters who smoke (although I myself don't smoke), so it's always interesting to see how other authors get across the message that someone is lighting up. I've never seen it done this way before, and I really like it.
[He stands alone amongst a crowd men in their early forties, knowing that he will never age.]
Edit: Think you're missing an 'of' before 'crowd.'
Thanks for the great read! :)