|Reviews for Eternity|
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 4/29/2012
I really love your first stanza. Actually, I like it all, but that first stanza is a favourite.
"Simply answer but one question for me,/ what is it all worth?" I think a ":" would be better than a comma. The question is "what is it all worth?" after all. You're expanding on that point, not really linking clauses.
"Life, existence goes on for eternity." You need another comma after existence.
"Everything is simple…. and complex." Why four dots? Ellipses are three.
"Nothing that could be used to gain understanding,/ not even a few well-placed words." - reads somewhat as two separate sentences as opposed to two phrases linked together.
"But we, humans try." - Don't need the comma, but if you're going to use it, need one after humans as well.
Nice ending. Really fitting.
| GHOTIfish chapter 1 . 4/24/2012
It may be that no one is able to explain eternity, but you definitely gave it your best shot...nice work!