Reviews for The McCallisters: The Snow Day: Christmas Eve 2008
Findus chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
Hi from the RG,

I remember reading something from you before. These glimpses of everyday family life and the dynamics between the brothers are sweet if not a little dull when the conversations drag on too long. The dog attack was unexpected and I was happy that something actually did happen.

You have a nice way with setting the scenes and the descriptions of the weather gave me a good feel for the surroundings. It was easy to imagine yourself there, having said that, the scene with Justice, York and Yara and Xavier and Callum and the baby made little sense to me. I didn't get who all these people were and what he was all of a sudden doing with Justice when you were just describing some of the brothers crawling around the bushes spying on the rottweiler.

Arg, I'm sorry, but I am really confused. There are just a zillion names to keep track of and I might be slow but I can't figure out who's who. I thought there were four brothers out skating but new names keep popping up throughout and it really had me confused. When you write a short story like this you might want to keep it tighter around two or three persons, or let one character's point of view come across. The way it is, I don't really get a feel for any of them.