|Reviews for Everything I Need|
| Carmel March chapter 20 . 12/14/2013
Hi, so sorry for my terrible lack of reviewing. University was absolutely hectic. I just caught up with this story and I absolutely enjoyed the ending! Thanks for sharing this with us, and I hope all is well :)
| Sally chapter 1 . 11/15/2013
So I'm the 151th reviewer huh? *growls* but oh well! Your e-book is really awesome! I can't believe you didn't have more than 150 reviews! It derserves more than a thousand! Apparently good deep stories aren't liked by many ppl! They need a good 'brain-awakener'. :p
Your stories are deep And the language is really good; took me a few readings for places where you're showing Rad's deep insights with Raph.
Hope you write more, while I go and checkout your other stories :p
| R. Ficst chapter 3 . 10/17/2013
I love the descriptive language chosen for the imagery in this chapter. Some great writing.
| Damned to heaven chapter 20 . 10/1/2013
Is is possible to get a list of all the books/authors mentioned in here, need a reprieve from all the mindless fluff you see.
| AMCtheatre chapter 20 . 8/5/2013
I loved it:) thanks for finishing I hate when people don't finish!
| BrandiRose chapter 20 . 7/31/2013
*sniffles* I loved this. I really did. Enough so to stay up till 12:30 am to finish it. Well done!
| SardonyxRosetta chapter 1 . 7/23/2013
This was beautiful and gorgeous and lovely and thank you so much for letting this be a thing that exists for others to read. Props to you.
| azeeunlove chapter 20 . 7/21/2013
I am so in love with this story!
| JeansKindaGirl chapter 1 . 7/20/2013
Hey there, stumbled upon your story like a day ago, read the summary , started reading then BAM, i was in love.
The way you slowly developed Raphael and Ariadne's relationship throughout the story so that it didn't seem rushed and a bit all over the place was great. Can't wait to read Chelsea's story!
| fallingWish chapter 20 . 7/20/2013
...Just like that?
...SOPHIE I WANT MORE
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND THIS WAS A REALLY NICE WAY TO END THEIR STORY LIKE WOW
On another note, you're slacking in your editing skills again:
"I'd gone to the room we'd shared [one] last time,..."
"First of all, because I barged in on him right in the middle of class." You can take out the because, unless you want to reword that section of the chapter to fit it in. Probably easier to just take the because out, especially since you don't use because in the next part ("Second of all...").
"I noticed she'd moved to a corner of the room instead of the center, and [a] faint pang of guilt shot through me again,..."
"Uriah went next, and I was surprised by how much stronger his voice sounded as he [read us] a poem that went from choppy to smoother, a demonstration of his progress in writing." You have some extra words in there, probably from when you were first wording that sentence.
"'I'm [saying?] you have promise, and that when you aren't feeling particularly resentful towards the creative writing teacher who shot down all your ideas, you'll come here and visit.'" Using "telling" there seems a bit awkward, and gives the sentence a different feeling. Unless you were trying to say "I'm telling you you have promise"? Either way, that part is worded a bit awkwardly.
And now I am done editing and can only screech in anticipation as I await Chelsea's story because damn am I excited.
Also I really want to know how many classes she skipped and what they did while she wasn't there because holy shit wow there was this sudden growth in the class.
Also I kind of want to know what Uriah's work was like, cause it sounds like it would have been an interesting read if you had written it out. Brian's, too, though we don't actually know much about him. And does Raph not have to write anything?
You've done a nice job actually finishing this story! : ) I am now excited to meet the "very adorable Ukrainian waiter," as you described him. I look forward to the first chapter of Chelsea's story!
| 72898 chapter 20 . 7/19/2013
Awww...I'm sad that its over. But everything must come to an end (cliche, I know).
| Nutcase Enthusiast chapter 5 . 7/16/2013
This adventure is everything I have ever wanted to write therefore I am entirely jealous and that is a huge compliment. Please don't let this story be a bomb i.e. ending in death, becoming cliche (too lazy to put the accent on the 'e'), or something of the sort. Thank you for writing witty, sarcastic, mysterious, and relatable material.
| leavemeialone chapter 19 . 7/15/2013
I am so glad I stumbled and found this story! I absolutely love it! The characters are so amazing. Reading it, I get so much emotions from every chapter. It breaks your heart at some scenes and it makes you smile in other scenes. I love how similar the two are and the two help each other when times are tough. Of course, you slowly and beautifully shed the depths of Ariadne and Raphael. I love reading every chapter, especially the last couple. It was great finally understanding where Ariadne was coming from. It was nice seeing the characters finally dealing with their problems. Thank you for writing this awesome story! P.S. I love how Raphael is such a romantic! XD
| fallingWish chapter 19 . 7/11/2013
I think you might have churned this one out a little to quickly (oops!). Here's some things I caught.:
I feel like there's something missing between when Raph mouths "Sorry" and the sentence starting with "Raphael had a mindset for business..." It seems like it's supposed to all be in one scene, but it's clear from the sentence directly after that a bit of time has passed between the two lines. Not sure what you could write to fix that.
When we first meet Raph's brother, his mom steps out of the car as well, but she never talks with Raph until they're at the park. The way you wrote the scene ["...was not the first to reach us."] makes it sound like she was going to confront Ralph at the fair before Rad's dad made the crowd go away.
There's a sudden jump between them being at Rad's house for ice and them being at the park. I would suggest either editing in a line saying they were at the park, or adding a -etc line in between so we know there's a bit of time jump between the two scenes. As it is now, it looks like they're talking at Rad's house and it all looks like one scene.
"Mother, there's a time [in] everyone's life when control must be relinquished and freedom must be given."
Mrs. Lazarus's face [supposed to be stuff here? ] "Well, I must take a call." Mrs. Lazarus took her phone out. "Come, Lucas."
At the end, you have Rad's line ["Already thinking big...I like it"] and Raph's like ["Well, if you're going to keep giving me kisses like that...big things indeed."] are stuck together on one line. Split those up. Two quotes after each other look weird.
Also, this chapter was rather considerably faster-paced than the others, I think? It felt like everything was happening really quickly. The confrontation at the fair/at Rad's house/at the park could have been drawn out a bit, or Red and Raph could have done a bit more at the fair. Something to make it a little longer? Everything happened I think a little too quickly, though I get it was for a bit of suspense in the scene.
Otherwise, everything looks pretty good. I'm excited by all the cutesy couple-y things in here, and I'm super happy that Raph has finally settled things with his mother. I'm actually kinda curious as to Raph and his brothers' background story, though I don't think it's particularly important to the story for you to include it. c:
Can't wait for the next chapter! Sorry for the stupidly long review ;
| PanicAttacker chapter 19 . 7/11/2013
Haha, the bull ride was funny. Hahahahahaha: "I like it." "Well, if you're going to keep giving me kisses like that, you're going to see some very, very big things indeed." "Ugh."