Update now. This is not a request. It's an order. Haha but seriously PLEASE.

Please update... Please

I'm kinda embarrassed about how excited I was when you posted this. It's been awhile, and I really like this story. Great chapter as always and I'm looking forward to an update.

:D you really need to update more. i love this chapter. please update. :)

This is really good-usually my reviews are better, but it's late and I'm tired...I'll think of something constructive to say next time. :-)

Well done, another beautiful story so far, I like your contrast of characters.
I know to expect great things from you so please update soon!
Thanks, take care,
Andy

Good story so far, I intend to keep reading it. I did notice that "Samantha had been around almost two weeks now and Dawn still sold on her, not at all." seems to be missing a 'was not' before the word sold, but otherwise I don't recall any noticeable errors. Any other issues I have are with the site, such as the inability to log in to do my review. Still, I hope to read more in the future.

excellent keep going.

Dude, this story is fantastic! Dawn's emotions are so incredibly tangible, it's crazy. Her fury with Arianna is ridiculously spot on.

Ahhh, I really just want more of this. So much more. Would love to see how it develops!

Teenagers coping with death is hard enough. Teenagers coping with death AND sexuality, and having both events tied into each other? It's surely got to complicate things. Kudos for taking on something so challenging. You seem to be handling it deftly, so far.

(That 'so far' was mostly a hint :P Now you're gonna have to continue)

oooh wow keep going. very good.

not bad keep going.

Interesting story so far, am interested in seeing where you take it. Putting it on my story alert list.

This is an intriguing start to the story! I feel bad for Dawn not really having her best friend by her side anymore. She seems maybe like a bit of a loner. I can't wait to read more!

Hello, just wanting to forewarn you, I review only occasionally and I've not read all of your work, so take what I say with a pinch of salt.

You use good methods of building suspense in a story, building up little area's of interest then dropping them and leaving us waiting. I know it's an opening chapter but be careful with using too many lists and long descriptions, I found myself skipping over them; that might say more about my attention span than anything else ;).

Your characters are likeable so far, but it can be frustrating sometimes with your writing that we see the same characters renamed in different stories. I'm not saying that's what’s happening here, but I think it's important to think about.

Finally, and again I know this is an opening chapter and your setting up story and characters and crafting, but it felt a bit clinical. What I like most about your writing is how it can really make you feel emotional, it's eloquent, it’s beautiful.

All that being said, I really am looking forward to more.

Tanks!

Andy

I love this sooo much. It's a great story so far and I love the style of writing you have. Definitely favoriting!