|Reviews for BladeArc|
| Boomer Kid chapter 36 . 12/7/2013
Hello, Louis! I guess I'll at least leave a short review.
The story's still entertaining, with the character interactions being the most interesting points to me so far. Also, your quick-paced action never fails to please.
Few things that you could improve on:
Your writing, definitely. I think that you could use more synonyms especially if the same noun appears in the same sentence and at times, paragraph. Yuuto's narration felt a bit repetitive and a bit overloaded at times - overloaded as in I thought the narration at times overshadowed the descriptions and actions - but I think the writing in this chapter got better towards the end. You still have moments of good flow in your prose, and your writing remains easy to read. Perhaps you could Google search tips on grammar, writing devices and the like.
Next would be my thoughts concerning the story as a whole. I'll address what I think is the biggest issue I have: BladeArc's setting. MMORPG elements or elements suggesting of that appeared very early in the story, so I've kind of been having difficulty relating or figuring out what you wanted to portray via your setting. Settings should be like characters, with their own unique characteristics, developments, and more. I think you're going for a high fantasy world, but the MMO-like characteristics could be reconsidered and revised with more inspired high fantasy ones, especially if your story is not intended to be set in an MMO.
Second would be issues of genuine tension. There are a lot of abilities, items, and events which make Yuuto's journey easier than I would've liked. He learns very fast, his powers are among the most powerful of all characters so far, he recovers very fast, he wins over people very fast, and it's just, I feel that you could have given him much more of a challenge. More rivals. More conflict within the group that remains on their minds for a bit longer. More questions. More things to question Yuuto's capability as a hero. The ride has been pretty entertaining so far and Yuuto does go through quite a bit of development, but I just feel that there could have been more, I guess.
As for Ludd, I think Yuuto could have had a bit more reflections or narration regarding Ludd before this chapter, considering the rather important role Ludd plays in the story now.
Yeap, I nit-picked quite a bit, but I'd just like to end this review by saying that you do deliver on the plus points of your story. Fast-paced action, lively cast despite the harem and moe antics, and a plot that's progressing. Most of the things I commented on could be reflected upon after you finish the whole story first, and then you may do revisions as you please. For now, have fun and continue writing! And I'll definitely be reading this till the end.
| Lord Slayer chapter 15 . 12/7/2013
I liked the opportunity for them to bond and become friends. Some parts still felt cliched, like them swearing their lives to one another's defense, though the bath scene was fairly unique in its execution. It's kinda adorable, with just a touch of the risque.
| Clear World chapter 11 . 12/7/2013
Ludd should have been a girl.
And every girl should forever fall in love with Yuuto for the slightest reason. I have completely lost sight of the actual plot and only care for this harem.
| kingofe3 chapter 11 . 12/7/2013
Go, go, Harem Warriors!
Go, go, Harem Warriors!
Go, go, Harem Warriors!
You, Mighty Sexy Harem Warriors!
Lol, I apologize for the reference. This just reminded me of it. Not that this reference wasn't accurate or anything. w
Anyway, this chapter was done extremely well. I like the action and some of the cheesy dialogue. Will be odd to see how Kamui gets along with the rest of the team. She pretty much proposed to him. w/
| Clear World chapter 10 . 12/7/2013
another good chapter with another girl added, yay. More girls needed for Yuuto and more lolis.
| Clear World chapter 9 . 12/7/2013
Ludd is totally a villain. That's the only possible way for this world to remain from not crumbling from my vision.
And... yet. Perverted scenes and stuff and ahhh... I''m losing stream reading this. The more and more I read this, the more and more I should just start accepting things for what they are.
Need dialouge though. Ludd and Yuuto seem like they can make great friends really quickly, if only Ludd weren't already evil. I have no proof that he is evil, but I will call him evil until he dies because I just assume he's evil.
| Clear World chapter 8 . 12/7/2013
Wow, that was... a lot easier than I expected. Was expecting more of a challenge from all those female bandits, but I guess, against a guy they stood no chance. This can't be all with the bandits. Those bandits must be working for the dark evil overlord that threatens this magical world of all females.
Eh... screw looking at the plot. Ennis and Yuuto are the only thing that matters and their relationship will carry this story for me. Oh look, they are being so much nicer since they first met. They're growing closer to each other. -.-
| Clear World chapter 7 . 12/7/2013
The muscular guy is going to die. The world I imagine must stay all feminine, unless he's the main villain of the story, because guys only can only exist to oppose how dashy handsome guy of a lead. Also, that girl who lost will become part of the party because she can fight.
...I just laughing at myself now. If only I could just insert myself as the main protagonist, this would be a self fan service right now, but I can't. Too bad elves aren't my thing.
Anyways, so.. the reaper is a girl. Is the reaper similar to death because I don't know if they are the same character. The reaper spoke as if she was death, saying how they met again, but why does she have a different name now. Must be my imagination.
Yuuto and all his loving female escorts. Every good living creature he meets will be female. That I am sure. More girls cannot stop and stare at his meat.
| Clear World chapter 6 . 12/7/2013
Death was a girl, wasn't she. I bet Death was a girl. Also, I like to say that no male exist in this world. That's why Yuuto is being treated so well because there only exist females in this world. That's now how I imagine this world.
Oh hey, look, another human... So... what's different between the old and new world?
Oh look, someone foretold about this destruction. I hate fate... I got nothing more to say about this chapter. This chapter is not a highlight for me. In fact, not horrible but I should smack myself for thinking I was getting into something different. Oh well, might as well see how this pans out.
Nidhogg, the first thing I think of when reading that word is a bow. Ashamed I don't actually know the meaning behind that word. I should look it up.
| Clear World chapter 5 . 12/7/2013
I have so many questions about the world that I been forgetting to ask, such like why are their technology is still at this area when they have been living for well over 5000 years with apparently the knowledge to record history. And they have magic. Why no technology yet?
Anyways, I shouldn't really question any of these game-like features such as a dark forest in the middle of the pathway towards Darven's Capital, since, it's game, but I want to. Why is there a dark forest right in the middle of the path? It nags me so much.
But I knew it, a special unique class only to Yuuto. Figures. So all guys are cowards or maybe? Is this why like no guy will join Yuuto any time soon. It's like the only thing to make sense if Death is this impressed by a single boy standing up to defend friends after a lifetime of doing this. I nitpick way too often but I have nothing to do as I gleely read through this.
So will a plot finally be revealed soon or am I expecting the wrong thing? I don't know. Oh yeah, I now expect Ennis to have an emotional struggle because she just witness a guy stand up for her against death. Miya was knocked out so she won't be that more closer, but she is already close so that doesn't make much of a difference.
| Clear World chapter 4 . 12/7/2013
Yup... totally a MMORPG and now we have one new additional elf chick. If you hadn't published this a month before the start of Sword Art Online the anime series, I would have thought you were heavily inspired by that series.
But anyways... sure... I'm not really a big fan of these scene, but whatever. As the story continue to progress towards... I still have no idea what to expect from this story. No plot has been laid out yet. A few foreshadowing here and there, but nothing to really kick start it yet. I guess I right now I should be enjoying these nice easy moments until we learn his magical super awesome unique character class.
| Clear World chapter 3 . 12/7/2013
Yup, totally a western MMO RPG setting. That question is resolved in my head.
What is Ennis occupation? She seems really knowledgeable about things that happens thousands of years ago, which makes me wonder, how long can these elves live for. How old is Ennis now? My first guess she was no more than 20 years old in terms of human age, but all these stuff she know about history, she seems like a historian.
Anyways, I take this as the introduction to battle? If this was a game simulator, this is how I totally would imagine that fighting going out. Instructional text box appear, plus increase information speak. More world building, and I still wonder what the plot is? Save the girl being chased by hooded men or save the other girl who is reaching for Yuuto through the dream. Wait, what if the girl in the dream was the same girl who was being chased by the hooded men.
No way wait, it only works if there is a douche guy introduced in the near future...heheh.
Writting still flows well.
| Clear World chapter 2 . 12/7/2013
...So, like an westered RPG MMO setting like, maybe? that's the vibe i'm getting while reading. Anyways, how very convenient that Ennis knows about the old world and the fact that the last time people had any contact with people was 5000 years ago. She is extremely well verse in this specific history.
And now, I have the suddenly feeling that this is going to be a self-inserting fantasy with the main guy doing all great suff... maybe. I don't, I'm rushing too much in my thoughts but the story is still in the beginning I still have no idea where this is going so I pray that what I get is going to be awesome! :3
Now, onto Ennis and having to spend the night with her... I got nothing. Elves are elves and I'm not really into it, but I guess a hot sexy female girl with elf ears is hot no matter what.. to people. All I know is, three girls already introduced, and most likely all of them will 'fall' in love with Yuuto. Random guess but it's my random guess for now as I attempt to see what is to come. Seeing how there are elves like creature, my random guess is there are trolls as well. Heck, I want to know more about these noblesss. Dungeon crawlers as well? Maybe. Now he just an party to follow him around. No wait, how much money does he have and what's the money system.
Me rambling like this means I have a interest in this story as I keep formulating random stuff even though it means nothing right now.
| Clear World chapter 1 . 12/7/2013
I have to admit, my personal taste was not really interested in this premise since the summary didn't really stand out for me, but after hearing so much good things about it, I have to say, the beginning didn't disappoint.
The action is well paced for me and the writing is really simple and easy to visualize.
My expectations for this is all over the place right now due to great recommendations don't really see a grand plot yet, but with Ennis and Yuuto already forming a relationship (hehe, with nice old threats), I hope to see a grand tale be unfold in this magical world.
| Ryou Arubin chapter 14 . 12/7/2013
Not exactly what I expected, but good enough. Bonus if Claire was actually a male who's into yaoi though.