|Reviews for BladeArc|
| cud-b-better chapter 1 . 12/1/2013
I have finally got round to starting this series that has been piquing my interest for some time. A nice opening and good character introductions I'm liking both the characters already and I can already see Yuuto becoming a bad ass character in future chapters. The elf girl whilst stereotypical is still somewhat likable. And a fight right from the beginning. (to be honest when I read the summary I was half expecting him to awaken in the new world in the female baths or something, I'll keep my delusions in check.) I'm looking forward to how you develop this world and it's natives as well as the reason Yuuto is there in the first place. Anyway it seems you prefer to focus more on narration than dialogue, eg putting something like 'she screamed' rather than 'Kyaaaa' she screamed etc, but this is trivial to me at best in comparison to this premises many merits.
Anyway I notice a few errors/places that could be written differently to help flow or make a little better sense (I do this for everyone feel free to ignore what I am about to write):
Apparently the girl with pointy ears wore something like a character from fantasy story would wear
Part of me was wondering how efficient her getup in a battle because her outfit somehow exposed more flesh than protecting it.
...I could see it drooling it looked at us with feral... - [as]
(why hadn't I notice that?) - either '(why didn't I notice that?)' or '(why hadn't I notice[d] that?)'
...pointy eared girl charged the giant wolf - pointy eared girl charged the giant wolf
...she crashed onto a large tree. - she crashed [into] a large tree.
I didn't know where did that come from (and it sounded cool) - There are many ways you could reword this but I personally recommend the following: 'I don't know where that came from (but it sounded cool)'
"I said, 'who are you'?" the she repeated harshly - omit [the] out of this sentence.
And it was the last thing that I wanted to happen on me in this strange, new world. - And [that] was the last thing that I wanted to happen [to] me in this strange, new world.
Sorry if I nitpicked a little too much, but as I said before I'm loving it! (I sure wish I could have just copied and pasted, but oh well).
*Follows and favs and is regretting not reading this sooner*
| Lolitroy chapter 1 . 11/29/2013
They say one learns something every day. What I learned today is: never underestimate the hazard in a banana peel again. Thank you.
Soooo finally got the chance to read some Lou-sama! We got a great narrator's voice here *-* and a perv. Pervs never lack in a good comedy. And the tsundere u.u nice one though.
Anyway, sounds like a good world so far. I hope to continue reading soon. Or... hell, I'll read another chapter or two.
| Razorine chapter 35 . 11/28/2013
Damn. It wasn't Blest. It was Bevelle. *facepalms*
But yey! Yuuto has come back! *fanfare plus confetti plus applause*
Your newer and more refined prose really helps with the telling of the story. It isn't as rushed, and I could feel that atmosphere as I read it. I felt so melancholic at the part where both Ennis and Claire are grieving, when Liara came to see Yuuto's resting body herself, and when Claire swore that she would protect Ennis in Yuuto's place, for him, no matter what.
And then the battle commenced. Despair came. Fiore was advancing, and King Leonard himself was wiping tons of Davren's soldiers away. Scary... and poor Hayate! Just as he was about to deal the final blow, I knew that Yuuto would come and stop him. But hey, even these cliche moments have to happen!
Damn... Yuuto's pretty powerful. And more cool-headed than before. Two high-level spells? Awesome. And how glad was Ennis when she found out that it was still him! She did some tsundereness (of course) yet she confessed again. Wonderful. Though I felt that the whole 'disbelief' part could've been stretched out. I felt that it didn't even out the other scenes where they were grieving, for some reason x3
But still, great work! Yuuto's back, and his appearance has cause quite a stir. Kick Leonard into Oblivion! You can do it!
Will read more once you've updated! (and when I'm not lazy! orz) ;D
... P.S... What happened to Ludd? Did you totally forget him, or... because I still remember that [The Reaper] mentioned that he had a shifty agenda...
Where is he?
| Razorine chapter 34 . 11/28/2013
YOU HAD ME DOUBTING THERE, LOUIS-SAMA! Nobody has ever done that to me other than Dan-chan! ;S
But well. No wonder you wanted me to keep reading... you wanted to see my reaction! Well, here it is! *slackjawed*
First of all, I thought that this chapter would be... disappointing. It reminded me a lot of those stories where they would end with the protagonist waking up from what seemed to be a 'dream'. It irked me, so the intro of this chapter irked me, too. You continued with more normalcy, increasing my dread that the whole what-seemed-to-be-a-dream trope would come true.
But you didn't. And that's what amazed me.
I should've have doubted your planning skills. Introducing Kurumi was probably a good call, and introducing us to Yuuto's homeworld was quite... ingenious. The scene with the thugs was the low point of the chapter, since it just seemed to be another plot device for Yuuto to express his skills and finally remember the High World. But that was essential, I suppose.
Besides, making one's readers doubt them is an admirable action/trait. You have deceived me, mister! xP
[The Reaper] again?! That wily lady... well, I'm glad that she's offered Yuuto another chance. Though anti-climatic the whole thing is (shouldn't she make Yuuto undergo some trial?), I'm just glad that our protagonist will be back!
And Kurumi saw Yuuto's Black Reaper form in her dreams? Interesting...
Yuuto, go and save the world! And don't die again, or I will seriously pummel you to the ground! *is shot*
Will read the latest update! I'm expecting more awesomeness! ;D
| Razorine chapter 33 . 11/28/2013
Oh. Yuuto really is dead.
Well, your writing has gotten better. It's conveyed the emotion more. And the fact that it's told from Claire's point of view... I won't even natter on about the sudden, inconsistent change of POV. As I said, I'd review based on story alone.
Short chapter, eh? Never thought that I see one of those in BladeArc! Although, I suppose that this is more of an intermission. Ah, poor Ennis. Poor Davren. I can't even feel mad towards Leonard, since he let Davren grieve over Yuuto's loss first, which is rather... nice of him.
And that bold text... what could that mean? Is the [Black Reaper] going to come? Or maybe... [Love]?
Will read more... ;D
| Razorine chapter 32 . 11/28/2013
Aww, what? Serious? Yuuto dies again? Really? Really? Just... *walks out of the room*
First of all, yey for battle! Ah, glad to see that you explained the whole mental link thing. I can see the climax on the horizon! Or maybe this is already the climax? *ponders*
Wow, things went hectic. I didn't expect any less from this chapter titled 'The Battle of Davren'. Yuuto kicking soldiers' butts, and Vivio appearing and summoning a giant Goliath. Just... *applauds*
Fiore sure is powerful from your descriptions. Even though Davren is advancing, Fiore keeps raining them with their troops! Is Leonard pooping soldiers out in a magic factory or something? *is shot*
But hallo! When things seem to be failing, even for a bit, the other nations come! Mu, Camelot, and Blest, was it? Go Tetsu no Otome and Mu's ogres! Fight with your scary Blood Haze! And Kamui joins in the action, too x3
And Camelot comes, along with Blest, was it? A surge of hope for the battle! Davren have to win this!
Yuuto challenges Leonard to a duel to the death. A brave but foolish challenge, and one that I probably wouldn't have made. Leonard has a big sword and maybe a bigger frame. And... and... he ended Yuuto! Even with the latter's belief and determination and promises, he...
Stay alive, you. STAY ALIVE. Ennis... confessed to you.
Because you weren't enough of a man to do it sooner. *is shot*
Will read more suspense... ;D
| Razorine chapter 31 . 11/28/2013
*checks the rating* Well, T is suitable, *nods* Just checking because of the content. *is shot*
Ah, so the Reaper Guild has gotten some attention, eh? Ennis and Claire both have respective positions, and Yuuto has earned a nickname befitting his abilities and his outlook. It's funny how talented he is in battle, when he's quite simple most of the time xD
Things seem to be looking up. Davren is holding up, and Fiore hasn't won yet. But the other nations haven't responded. Civil wars, maybe?
And of course, the proposal... well, let me say that Finny's proposal was quite ingenious. Cleverly crafted and suavely explained, and yet... yet... Yuuto declined.
*throws confetti* That's Yuuto for you! No deal can shake him! Maybe except for one concerning Ennis, but that's for another time!
Finny... is probably the seductive female I had confused with Vivio. Awkwardness again... *hides behind pillow* I'm just glad that Kamui came along. Yey!
A Davren camp was taken over? Well, go Ennis and Yuuto! Fight Fiore! x3
Members: Yuuto, Ennis, Miya, Kamui, Claire, and Lynn.
Will read more! ;D
| Razorine chapter 30 . 11/28/2013
Ah, I was wrong on all my speculations. Vivio isn't old, isn't male, and isn't seductive at all. Well. Another failed prediction from me *sweat drop*
But some carnivorous vines, eh? No one could beat it... I sort of felt unsure of this. Like Yuuto said, I was sure that he would at least harm it with that Black Flame he unlocked from that recondition stuff. But he trusts Miya, so I should as well. *wut?*
And Vivio arrives! Powerful, indeed. She seems to strike a studios, composed air about her, and unlike what I mentioned about every female in BladeArc hosting some amiability towards Yuuto, she's... somewhat of an exception. She's a much different character, which is quite relieving, to be honest x3
There's one thing that's bugging me, and that's how she accepted the offer too quickly. I was hoping that the quest would continue for at least another chapter, like if Yuuto and MIya had to retrieve some sort of rare herb for Vivio before the latter could go with them. It felt a little... rushed to me. Maybe it's because I wanted more Yuuto and Miya time, just like with Yuuto and Kamui's quest.
But besides that, nothing else to nitpick on. Vivio accepts, and she shows her awesome powers. Ennis and Yuuto have a moment on the balcony. Another sweet ending.
Will read more! ;D
| Razorine chapter 29 . 11/28/2013
First of all, I like how this chapter and all of the other chapters before this could actually be episodes of a BladeArc anime (o-oh, wow, I'm already suggesting an anime, ehe).
An Archmagus? Somehow, SkyRim comes to mind when I hear that xP But well, Vivio seems to be a wild card for any war. I'm intrigued to see her personality, and how she'll react to Yuuto's presence as a Dark Knight (since that class usually interest people so much, especially the guy who attacked Yuuto at the meeting some chapters before). Is she old? Is she a he? Is she a seductive lady? *cocks head like a bird*
And Miya finally has her time with Yuuto! All these quest things are perfect for character development (again. orz). I was quite interested with Miya's backstory since she just seems to be hiding a lot beneath her cheery veneer. She's... too happy. But I guess that just makes her antics with Yuuto much more funny x3
Golems. Got to love those. Maybe they were attacking Miya because they have the Domination Curse on them?
Another accidental pervy moment? This is the problem (but also the highlight!) of harems in anime.
Miya's backstory is pretty sad. And the fact that she has a Domination Mark... I hope Yuuto will find a way to get rid of it. And hallo! Miya confesses! She confesses! Ah, awkwardness like this makes me hide behind my pillow. But Miya's brave, and strong. Plus, her jokey personality shines through! (Mistress, lol xD).
[Love], huh? Fufufufu...
Will read more! ;D
| Razorine chapter 28 . 11/28/2013
Aww, a warm, sweet ending. *WHEN WILL THEY KISS *is shot**
A lot of things have happened! Promises, goals, and recruitment. It's nice to see that Ennis is getting along with Claire, and that they're working together. I suppose Ennis' tsundereness used to render Claire afraid, but now the latter just takes it as a joke! It's serious character relationship-development!
And Lynn will join? I had a sneaky feeling. Her being an Alchemist and a Blacksmith will surely help the rest of the group. And reconditioning your sword gives you new abilities? Very fantasy RPG, but also very BladeArc x3
Ah, the backstories are here. I've been waiting for a detailed paragraph of Yuuto's. So he has a sibling? That's nice to hear, though I empathize with him on the 'unloved' aspect. And Ennis' backstory also moved me quite a bit, since she's a victim of war and all. It takes a strong heart to talk about the wrath of the Iscariots when Claire is her friend. *nods*
Yuuto's new abilities. So awesome! *throws confetti*
Will read more love and action! ;D
| Razorine chapter 27 . 11/28/2013
I knew Yuuto wouldn't die! I suppose my first assumption that [The Reaper] would play a part in his revival was somewhat right x3
[The Reaper] has a soft spot for Yuuto? Well, I suppose the latter has been entertainment to the former for a while, and it's become somewhat of a trope that all females of BladeArc have some sort of amiability with Yuuto, regardless of their personas ;3
Fate... it's a weird thing. And yet, it's interesting that Yuuto is a protagonist who defines his own destiny. I sincerely hope that he won't become that evil [Black Reaper] *nods*
New charrie, eh? Lynn is a Spriggin Alchemist. Interesting, indeed. I had speculated whether any non-combat members would join the Reaper Guild, but after you said that no more would join I just forgot about it altogether. So would Lynn just be in this chapter or will she actually join? Because she would be a good addition, with the way that she just melts in Yuuto's grasp *is shot multiple times*
And Mega Healing Potion. Nice name xD
Ennis and Yuuto are back! And hallo! Yuuto experiences some sort of telepathy! Maybe he and Ennis have that strong a bond...
And that last part. ;3
Will read more! ;D
| Razorine chapter 26 . 11/28/2013
Yuuto can't die. There's no way you'd leave the story like this... could you? *gapes at the last few sentences*
Some Yuuto and Liara time. Glad to see that the princess isn't just for looks *ehe* And Davren has allies now, eh? But wait! Fiore has declared war already!
You wanted thoughts, well, here they are! I think that the character development is a-okay, and pretty much gone to the climax. Yuuto's finally confessed his feelings out loud, even if it wasn't directly at Ennis' conscious face. From the brawl, I can tell that he's stronger, and much, much more determined. Because of that, I realized that he's not just fighting for his chance to defeat Nidhogg, or for Davren, but to protect his guild. Mostly Ennis.
He still has to confess for real, right?
Which is why I don't want him to die. [Reaper], help Yuuto! Or maybe Claire! Yes! That's way more probable! x3
| JaeyaFlorence chapter 1 . 11/28/2013
This is awesome. I will defintly like this.
| Razorine chapter 25 . 11/19/2013
Ah, amidst the sinister of the arena, you still manage to make me smile. N-Not in a perverted way! I was merely amused at the awkwardness of the situation... *sadistic! is shot*
As always, I applaud you for your ability to keep the story going. Your fast-paced chapters weren't my cup of tea at first, but when I see the progression of BladeArc from this chapter, I can't help but smile ;D
Yuuto is a fantastic guy as always, with an unintentionally-pervy attitude. It was funny and entertaining how those ogres just confessed right in front of EACH OTHER. I suppose they're like fangirls? xD
Ah, another finish to a quest! I hope to see more development on the plot, though, especially a quest regarding the Nidhogg. I'm just concerned that you may have lingered on the progression part for too long.
But that's just me! xP
Will read more soon! ;D
| Razorine chapter 24 . 11/19/2013
Ooh, interesting name! Iron Maidens- sounds like something from an anime!
Well, things might take a turn for the worse. Honestly, I'm rather excited by the concept of gladiatorial arenas. Something about them rouses an interest within me... orz
Still, it's nice that you've implemented some Japanese through one of the cultures in BladeArc, that being the ogres. The diversity of these races is commendable, and adds to that spicy fantasy feel!
I truly hope that Kamui and Yuuto bond in a sort of sister-brother way. I picture their relationship like that x3
I'm wondering if you'll do separate quests where Yuuto goes with each of the guild members. It provides a sort of character development feel, I think. *me with the development again! ;S*
Will read the next chapter, then that will be all today. Hope I can finish tomorrow! ;D