|Reviews for BladeArc|
| Boomer Kid chapter 34 . 5/18/2013
Everything from my reviews now on would contain major spoilers that start from Chapter 32 onward.
Ah, first off I'd just like to say that I like the drama with Claire's POV in chapter 33. No words to describe that chapter.
Though we only have one chapter with Kurumi before Yuuto goes back to the High World, it is well paced. And we finally have a good dosage of imouto-chan.
"Do you love her just because of her being there, or do you love her because you're there for her?" Yay, imouto-chan's best quote! Get's Yuuto thinking whether his love for Ennis is solid or whether he's in it for the... you know. Ahehe.
Yuuto beats up gangsters with darkness powers and his instincts from swordsmanship training. O_O I hope they didn't end up dead. Someone could have gotten a warrant of arrest for murder or something.
I wonder how imouto-chan's going to tell Yuuto's parents about his adventure! And oh yes, the necklace? From what I remember, Kurumi still has it. (Major plot point?) The Reaper seems kind to children, I think. But I just wonder what will happen with imouto-chan.
So yes. A nice chapter where we finally get to see Yuuto's home. Though his reunion with his sister was short (then again, apparently his time in the High World was only as long as one night in his home world), at least we know he has a good imouto and it's nice to see their interactions.
I can foresee the comedy and drama when Yuuto revives in the next chapter. *Juts out a thumbs-up*
Nothing new for me to critique right now. Really enjoyed the past few chapters, action, drama, fanservice and everything. Once again, all the best for your chapters to come! This arc of BladeArc isn't over yet!
| Daniel Steadfast chapter 34 . 5/17/2013
I love this chapter w Kurumi-Chan is the perfect imouto... that, and I'd want to see the look on everyone's faces when Yuuto Suddenly revives. Good Job! wb
| bradpara chapter 16 . 5/15/2013
Aaaaaaaaaaah, Intresting the Reaper seems to be a Yuuto X Ennis shipper, at the same time, she is not above trolling our heros to make things intresting.
One wonders how this shall all play out.
| bradpara chapter 15 . 5/15/2013
I feel very sorry for Claire, I really do.
Yuuto, admit it, you have a harem. It shall be so much easier that way.
Wow, cliffhanger, what fun.
| Boomer Kid chapter 32 . 5/13/2013
O_O Things are getting grim.
Before I head to major spoilers, damn, Ennis can sure command, or at least motivate an army. If I were one of those soldiers, having to look at an enemy that far outnumbers you that they seem to come in tidal waves, man would I be rejuvenated after listening to Ennis' address.
This is among your deadliest chapters, definitely. Fighting going on left, right, center, above, behind, everywhere! I would prefer it there was a bit more showing rather than telling, but it's nothing too serious to detract the experience of a full-scale war! Nice to see how each member of the cast contributes to the battle, you really did give the main heroines as well as the allied kingdoms the focus they deserved.
Little things I'll pick up from this chapter:
Chimeraes - should be Chimaeras
"You too, Yuuto…" Ennis spoke before she paused. "Umm… Yuuto, tell me anything if you need something from me in battle later. I'll help you, no matter what." - Maybe "tell me if you need something" would sound neater?
Then, she looked at the rampaging Goliath who swallowed a poor dragon whole, and she whistled. "Wow, you have a cool giant working with you?" she asked me.
"Well, our mage summoned that one," I told her that.
"Cool," Morgan commented. Yeah, I had to agree that despite its monstrous form, Goliath was kinda cool.
- Damn, so calm during battle! Mark of badass warriors. Goliath was owning there.
Queen Bernant raised her hand, summoning countless giant lances from the sky, raining down those lances onto the dragons and gryphons, killing them instantly.
- Fate-verse Gilgamesh? :3 Just need that little snap of the fingers, hehe.
"Stop him!" King Leonard shouted as he saw me charging towards him. His lieutenants rushed towards me, and I retaliated by jumping away from my horse, boosting myself with Shadow Arc and knocked both lieutenants down with a single stroke. Then, I stopped right in front of King Leonard, pointing Karma right in front of his face. "Y-you…!"
- I think you could have broken this paragraph up. Something like:
"Stop him!" King Leonard shouted as he saw me charging towards him.
His lieutenants rushed towards me, and I retaliated by jumping away from my horse, boosting myself with Shadow Arc and knocked both lieutenants down with a single stroke. Then, I landed right in front of King Leonard, pointing Karma right in front of his face.
- By breaking the combat scene away from the dialogue, it gives a sleeker flow. This is especially since focus shifted from Leonard to his lieutenants and Yuuto. And Leonard wasn't fighting Yuuto here.
Wow, just wow. Yuuto did make a honorable, but rash decision there. If I was the commander, I would order for the enemy commander of all people to be taken as prisoner at least when encountered, and I would tell them this before going onto the battlefield. But more importantly, Yuuto just performed a stupendous amount of independent action by dueling the enemy commander of all people, after what all his allies have done to thin Fiore's military. Either Ennis didn't tell Yuuto anything about what not to do on the battlefield, or Yuuto's sense of honor or rashness overtook him at that moment. Very big turn of events there. Shows that power isn't everything that decides a war, the decisions that are carried out are also important.
This is most probably Yuuto's second death. The area around his heart just got, blown away. Ah, romantic near-death scene between Yuuto and Ennis. So it looks like the pairing has been established amid the falling snow.
And this is where I'm eager to read more.
An action-packed chapter that leaves us hanging at the end. Though I would say there is room for improvement, especially showing vs. telling, there's no doubt that I enjoyed this chapter! Once again, all the best for your chapters to come!
| Boomer Kid chapter 31 . 5/13/2013
Nooooooo another kiss scene interrupted! *sadness*
I agree with TheBloodEdge, this should become an eroge. I'll buy it.
You managed to keep your writing quality consistent all the while, and I'm liking it, it's always nice to read Louis-sama's storytelling. And you never fail with fanservice, gehehe, naughty Finny. Throughout all the chapters, it's nice to know more and more about the characters. Damn, Miya's history is probably the most tragic so far. *pats Miya* She didn't get as much limelight before though in comparison to girls like Ennis and Claire, so in terms of affinity I still think Yuuto is closer to Ennis and Claire.
Yes, in war there is death, both sides suffer. Nice to see Yuuto having to come to terms with it, subtle things to show he's growing.
A few things I'd like to point out. First is, the ratio of male:female is well, hugely lopsided toward the females! While it's enjoyable to read harems as entertaining like this with a spice of your inspiration from visual novels, I personally would like to see at least a couple of very notable male characters, preferably on Yuuto's side. Ever since Ludd took a big break from appearing in the chapters, let's just say the story doesn't feel the same.
"Huh?" I realized that I was crying. My eyes were wet due to the tears. "A-am I crying?"
He realizes that he is crying, then asks if he's crying. Hehe. Not a big issue or really a mistake, but would just like to point Yuuto's little contradiction.
And of course, I'd like to see more enemies who are able to give Yuuto a good fight in direct combat! Moar action coming right up next chapter!
Yuuto choosing his new home and companions over fame and fortune (and possibly a bigger harem on the enemy's side, hehe). Though kind of predictable, I'm glad to see honor, goodwill and integrity once in a while. Seeing good qualities lifts up a person's day.
Once again, I'm really digging your story and writing. Really in anticipation of what's to come next, and if by chance you need any more thoughts or ideas, feel free to ask. All the best to future chapters!
| TheBloodEdge chapter 31 . 5/12/2013
"There's one time when Vivio conjured a huge mountain in the middle of a battlefield, and we used it against Fiore."
Kusuha. Kusuha Mizuha. Vivio is motherfrickin' Kusuha Mizuha piloting the RyuKoOh. Dropping a mountain on enemies. That's something Kusuha does on a daily basis. Now all Vivio needs is some epic Chinese mythology allusions and a bust to really pull off epicness. And also, and I quote, "THERE IS NOTHING MY KICK CANNOT DESTROY! CHESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"I didn't want to trigger some plot events that might cause me to hit a bad ending about me becoming [the Black Reaper] himself."
But nice boat ending is best ending...
"...which exposed her cleavage and emphasized the curve of her body (why do I have to comment on this?)"
Because you're a total pervert, Manwhore.
"How about if I convince you… with my body…?"
This should turn into an eroge.
"She was sitting on top of me as she started undressing herself."
Finally! Sex scene imminent! Damn, this is raunchy. Creepy reverse-rape, but raunchy. Wait, no! KAMUUUUUUIIIIII!
"Still holding me with one arm, Kamui brandished her katana before she assumed a battle stance. She did that while she's still holding me tight, burying my face against her chest."
Wait, how the hell do you hold someone up with one hand against your chest? That doesn't make sense! Does the magnetism between Manwhore's face and everyone's boobs defy the laws of reality?
Uhm, Finny's still in enemy territory. I suggest an All Out Attack. None? Okay... But really, that scene with Finny felt so ham-fisted. So awkward. Sheesh.
It's time for Manwhore to show off again! Go! Advance against the Fiore army as I play The Sword That Cleaves Evil in the background!
This has been lacking lately. Finny... Eh... I won't count her as member 21. There's joining a harem, and then there's being a rapist.
| TheBloodEdge chapter 30 . 5/12/2013
"Miya proudly twirled her knives before she performed her rather cute winning pose, as if posing in front of an invisible camera, showing a v-sign."
"...and I could clearly see the thing that was usually hidden underneath Miya's already short skirt."
Her what? Her bombs?
"...moving plant with dozens of tentacle-like vines."
Tentacle scene imminent in five... Four... Three... Two... One...
"Well, I had fought an army before, so she might be wrong. But let's trust in her for this."
Yup, that's the snark I read this story for.
Vivio talks so... Lazily... I mean... It's like... She's high... But in all seriousness, I read her lines in the voice of Jamieson Price and it was EPIC. I mean like, holy shit.
"That's why I'll be offering myself!"
YUUTO THE MANWHORE. I SHALL ADRESS HIM AS MANWHORE FROM NOW ON.
Wait, if they teleported to Davren, then what about the horses? You can't leave the horsies at the valley! The Gundams will eat them!
Huh, kinda surprised Vivio didn't wipe the floor with the Fiore army immedieately.
And Ennis isn't pissed at Manwhore? C'mon! I expect at least a tsundere slap attack considering the moment she found him alive!
20 women. Manwhore, you stud! Vivio joins as the 20th member. Kinda... Uninteresting actually. I expected some crazy gibberish or maybe some creepy sexual rape-y statements regarding using Yuuto as a test subject. She just seems... Bored.
| TheBloodEdge chapter 29 . 5/12/2013
Miya getting focus? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! Archmagus Vivio? More like harem member number 19! I know! I counted! If it's a chick, she wants Yuuto's dick! From her description, she seems to be a Cloud Cuckoolander! We needed more of that!
Wait, now he's a master horserider. Aww, that's kind boring. I liked seeing him embarrass himself in front of the girls. Oh well, he just needs a stallion and a giant blade now... And speeches, epic speeches.
Ah, burned hometown and prostitution! Miya's like the Polyana!
Golems? More like Gundams! Sentient AI Gundams! Gundaaaaam!
Yuuto has managed to escape the Gundam. Dammit man, quit being a pussy! CLEAVE THEM IN TWO!
"Then, a realization hit me, and it was terrifying. I found myself lying on top of Miya, with my face buried between her breasts. Damn! Curse my luck!"
We know what you're really thinking, Yuuto Kobayashi.
"And I couldn't calm myself after having my face being put between Miya's healthy melons like that. I hate you, anime comedy! Don't make yourself appear out of nowhere without warning!"
YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE TALONS OF ANIME COMEDY! NEVEEEEEEEEEEER!
"I tried to look away, but those alluring orbs of hers were something that couldn't simply be ignored."
Pfft... 'Alluring orbs' huh? Yuuto's on his way to Fate style sex scenes.
Dammit, that backstory. Miya has it even worse than Ennis, Kamui and Claire combined! SHE'S NO LONGER A PLATYPUS BABY, THIS PLATYPUS HAS A FEDORA NOW! (But she's still pretty useless in combat so she's still a platypus)
The personification of love? Isn't that Katsu?
THE HAREM STATISTICS HAS RETUUUUUURNED!
Today on the harem statistics, MIYAAAAAA has RANKU UP fifty levels, passing the Claire and Kamui line. All this in one chapter, hoo boy! Points deducted for telling her sob story naked, hence distracting me from the tears with boobs. But points ramped up for being naked! Miya is right behind Ennis now, can she make it? Can she claim Yuuto all for herself?!
Oh, and I don't care what you say, Yuuto and Ennis had sex following that night.
| Y. S. Wong chapter 1 . 4/2/2013
Banana peel death. Lol.
I'm digging Yuuto's narration. It's got a nice snappiness to it and his voice just has this refreshing charisma to it. So many writers use the first person narration wrong or ineffectively, but you make use of it to perfection. One of the better first person narrations I've read in a while.
I like the way you do fight scenes too. The action is fast-paced and intense.
Overall, I like your writing style. It's simple and easy to read, yet not short on description.
| Daniel Steadfast chapter 30 . 3/28/2013
The story gets more interesting by the second keep it up, and hope you enjoy writing stories more than I like reading them
| bradpara chapter 12 . 3/25/2013
Mmmmmmmmm, Fanservice and plot twists. Very cool
| bradpara chapter 14 . 3/25/2013
Nice chapter, especially the reveal at the end. One feels that prehaps Yuuto's harem might be growing.
| Midnight Spring chapter 1 . 3/24/2013
Good job with your shameless plug because you got someone to check out your story.
I'm pretty new to writing myself so I can't really critique on the actual writing, sentence structures, transitions, and such. So my reviews would be based on plot and characters 90% of the time.
So first of all, I noticed a first person point of view for the story, which is pretty uncommon (for me at least). I think you put in too much of the character thought processes early on. Personally, it's not really a big deal, but I don't think you needed to go all the way to write and tell the readers every part of a character's thought process.
I've read your Tarot "stories" and I can already tell Ennis is probably gonna be the Priestess Arcana, unless you would introduce a new semi-major character later.
So far, not much has happened. But I think when things happened, they happened a bit too quickly I guess. To summarize, Yuuto finds himself in a new world, meets Ennis, runs into monster, obtains weapon, and follows Ennis. Don't worry though, that's also a mistake I did at the first few chapters of my story (inconsistent pacing and "nothing much happening" chapters). I'll look out for more in the next chapters!
| Van Quatra chapter 29 . 3/22/2013
great chapter, this new character sounds like she will be interesting.