|Reviews for An Average Hello|
| Genetic Paranoia chapter 1 . 5/2/2012
Wow, that was interesting.
I like your style of writing, it flows nicely without mistakes and it makes me think and want to keep reading. The way it's written makes it rather unpredictable and unpredictability is very good in a story. I'm not really sure what I should criticize... it kind of seems like there's a hint of madness somewhere. I really love the way that the main character has a rather child-like innocence which makes me think that maybe he was traumatized at some point (although this is probably just me being morbid xD) I think that maybe at some points later on, he should have a few moments where he's not so child-like (but only at critical points or if he remembers something important) I was pleasantly surprised when reading this because the title and beginning kind of give a different idea of what the story will be like.
All in all, I can't wait to read the next chapter, keep up the good work :)
| InfinityParadox chapter 1 . 5/1/2012
It's a really great story. There's a great sense of imagry in it. For me, It took several people and several years before I finally understood that you can over describe. When I'm descrbing a person for example I pick one or two distingisuhing characterisics about them and then only use those thought the story. Like brown hair or green eyes. Senes you can be a little freer with - but not to far. You don't want your reader to get bogged down in some much detail.
I do like the story - the characters have a lot of great potential. I'm interested in your name choice - sometimes names can mean things (I translate characteristics into Romanian) and sometimes they don't (Like hitting random letters on the keyboard and going with it)
It does lack some emotional content. I want to know what he's feeling not just what's going on.
Love it - keep writting!