|Reviews for Surrealism|
| The Siege chapter 6 . 4/16/2013
WON'TE EVER HAVE TO COME BACK?! that sounds ominous...O.o You'll just stay in the dream-world forever? In limbo? LIKE INCEPTIONNNNN?! Have you watched it yet? Cuz you totes have to. It's pretty much about lucid dreaming. It's pretty awesome.
| baesh chapter 5 . 4/16/2013
Yup, another review.
Ahh I love this dream. That feels way too personal :c anyway, what do I love: I love the ending. I love the way you narrated the ending, hehe, because, well, yeah from your point of view I can see that it's a bit lousy. "I'm not a bank robbing murderer! Dammit!" Also, which of them are you? In my head, you're both. You were the bank robbing murderer from the beginning, and - DAMN IT I am not going to analyse this one!
*squeezes eyes shut; pearls of sweat from restraint*
hah just kidding. I already analyzed it, I'm just not gonna tell you. It's called psychological warfare.
| baesh chapter 1 . 4/13/2013
I like the way you've done this very much. Kudos to you for revealing this much about yourself to a faceless crowd of people who aren't obliged to be nice about it.
I wonder how much you analyse your dreams while you write them; I find it very interesting - and it's not every day that you get such an insight into another person's inner world. So I hope you don't mind my pointing out what I found especially poignant: your dream had many of the hallmarks of an especially good plot, you know.
I liked the circular pattern: you start out in a farce, a play where everyone is brainwashed into believing and trusting certain ideals - you end with the select few, your Noah's Arc so to speak carrying around set material and costumes. To me, it seems almost like your subconscious it trying to tell you something, no?
Then, the way you are swept away by your own hate and anger. In the beginning you are not afraid: you know this comes from you. In a way, it is what every misunderstood person in the history of misunderstood persons has wanted: to be given the power to judge, instead of being constantly judged. However, the power becomes more than the sum of it's components, and you are swept away. I think that despite your attitude, the bit with "hundreds of innocents die", and especially the float flipping at the touch of your hand indicate guilt. I know the feelings you have, and I give myself the right to be the know-it-all whom you're bound to hate. Sorry about that.
OK, now to the writing itself. I thought that you were a bit heavy on the melodrama: Rain slowly trickles down like blood. - this could be said more evocatively. How does the rain resemble blood? Does it only resemble blood because it is in your dream? In that case, what about your dream, and yourself, makes you think of blood when water flows from the sky? In the human consciousness, water and blood have very similar, but also very opposite emotional connotations. For this reason, perhaps be a little more careful with the violent and pain - filled imagery. You must make the reader FEEL the pain, instead of just seeing it.
I liked the bit with the heather - I didn't get why you used that image, but imagining limbs and bags and all this flailing out of a roiling sea of scratchy foliage was somehow quite beautiful. Especially as it indicates the reversal of state - "steadfast" land becomes an ocean without pretense, but also without security.
okay, this is really long. As I said, I really enjoyed it (which mightn't be the right sentiment - I found it interesting, okay.) if you feel I've voiced too much criticism, well, I do that with people whose writing I respect. Basically, I hate it when noone reviews me. We are here to get feedback, right? If you hate me for analyzing you, well, sorry. As I said, not much to be done there.
| The Siege chapter 3 . 2/12/2013
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO NOT D! what happened to K? also B? is back? and telling you that you're dreaming and stuff? lol huh?
i kinda remember you telling me about the sweet potatoes thing lol
aww but why you so alone in this one :( where am i and kbeezy and al? al...all? li? you know who i'm talkin bout right lol
| The Siege chapter 4 . 2/12/2013
Oh, this one! I rememberrrr you told meeeee about ittttttttt :D
it's short but sweet well not really sweet but you know what i meannn
even though you used short and simple sentences in this one i feel more emotion somehow. maybe your diction is more intense or something? lol lit what are you doing to meee -_-
| The Siege chapter 5 . 2/12/2013
lol sorry. anyways i like this one a lot! it's interesting and a little confusing and idk what anything symbolizes exactly but the idea is cool. lol when i first saw the chapter title i thought it was gonna be about some guy breaking into your house and then you had a weapon and you were debating whether or not to kill him, like we talked about at lunch a while ago, remember? lololol
anyways this is cool. there are some errors that i'm too lazy to point out right now (i'm also too lazy to log in because i have STUPID APUSH AND PHYSICS TO DO LIKE WHY i'm sorry) but yeah i like i like!
i feel like it's all kind of distant though. you know? like you use short sentences and very neutral words like said and not that many adjectives/adverbs and it's not as dramatic as it could be. idk if that's the kind of tone you were going for or not but that's what it seemed like to me :D
| Lost Found and Forgotten chapter 3 . 11/16/2012
Wow those were breathtaking, the ability to turn you dreams into such words was brilliant.
| iwritelovestories chapter 2 . 7/15/2012
Woah. That was intense! Your dreams are interesting. I personally liked the first one better, because of the loneliness thing. But when you say lonliness, do you mean feeling lonely or actually being alone? Because when you were the only survivor for a little bit in the apocalypse, I would be really terrified in that position. I mean, I feel lonely often, but actually being alone, completely alone, seems terrifying.
The Hunger Games dream, well, yeah, you're off your rocker. :p Just kidding! But ya know, that dream was crazy. Especially the decapitating and the running your bloody knife across their necks? Woah, I hope that wasn't when you were having a lucid dream, I'd worry a bit:p But, great story!
| The Siege chapter 2 . 7/6/2012
LAWL I remember this. Though you've described it a bit more clearly, I think. And that girly guy at the end, I don't remember him. But yeah.
Anyways, this is good even if it's like violent and stuff, lol. You and your dreams, bro...
Also, I was kinda creeped by the fact that the girly guy at the end called you "cutie." Haha. Moving on.
HAHA "...and continued DAINTILY throwing arrows at me." HAHAHA DAINTILY. HAHAHA. :D
Awww, you didn't really have to kill people...but those other people were really trying to kill you so wait what? How come this guy was the only one who knew that you only had to get 20 times to lose? Goodness gracious, man, the rest of you are like bloodthirsty, bahaha. ;)
But this is deep. Especially that "losing humanity" line. That is very very true. Yupyup.
Alright can't wait for tomorrow! TTYLzers lawl
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
So I just wanted to say I really liked this! It's so descriptive and great (:
ESP cause it's the truth about high school
| Rigmarole chapter 1 . 6/25/2012
I loved The Flood because it's more of an interpretation of what happened in your dream, whereas your other chapters seem more expository. "This is what I feel about what happened" versus "this is what happened." It really engaged me, the way you described the storm and how terrified everyone was of it. Was/is H.P. Lovecraft one of your inspirations?
| The Siege chapter 1 . 5/15/2012
Mm. Yeah, it's nice to be alone sometimes. But by alone, you mean hanging out by yourself, and not be-a-loner-without-any-friends, right? :D
| Onearmwonder21 chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
This is good.