|Reviews for The Night that was Stained Scarlet|
| yukiteddy chapter 1 . 12/3/2012
wow whhaaannn this is 100 times better than my story
| cud-b-better chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
That was a very good first chapter.
There is quite a bit of mistakes in terms of spelling and punctuation (I have no need to talk about that however) but it is very much readable.
I loved the mc taking on gangsters from the word go. The only thing I am worried about is remembering who is who. So many characters were introduced in a very short amount of time.
| Lolitroy chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
The title caught my attention haha
I liked the introduction, though it sorta puzzled me in the beginning. So far I've liked this, but the constant POV changing distracts me a bit. Ah, don't worry, not many people share my opinion haha. Anyway, I'm gonna continue reading :D
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/23/2012
Great start look forward to more. Keep writing!
| cagedabce chapter 2 . 7/18/2012
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/18/2012
| zZTaigaz chapter 2 . 7/18/2012
I'm not too great at this either but I would just like to share an opinion.
When devoloping a character, the author tends to forget the most vital part in characterzation; they should allow their characters to speak for themselves instead of the character telling the readers. Why is this you may ask? It often gives the readers a chance to get a feel for the character rather than the author. We all know that the author knows their characters inside out, or at least they should, but the readers have no idea who they are. How can we fix this?
One suggestion I could throw out is to not overly descirbe the character's actions, what kind of person they are, or what they do. 'Well that doesn't make sense,' says the author. In order to further explain, let me give an exmaple. Say you had a character named Mary who was said to be 'nice, friendly, and caring.' Well if an instance comes up where that character is forced to act out of character then that would throw a reader out for a loop! 'Wasn't Mary supposed to be nice and not mean to others?' a reader may ask. Yes but since the author directly threw out their personality, the character could not escape from their set destiny. I know this sounds confusing but this is how most stories without good character development tend to be.
Just remember to let your characters speak for themselves through their actions and interactions with other characters. This saves a lot of word count space and your readers start to infer and get an idea of what the character is like.
| zZTaigaz chapter 1 . 7/18/2012
I have finally come back and this is the first story that I have decided to read and shall now review! I'm not really good at reviewing but here goes...wish me luck!
Everyone is not perfect when it comes to grammar, puncuation, or spelling and whatnot. One thing I want to point out that I found in this chapter was the constant change of using present and past tense verb usage that could confuse a person. It wasn't your major mistake so it can be overlooked slightly but this was just for future references. There aren't too many spelling errors but there were several puncuations that should be corrected such as capitalizing the first letter of each sentence. Also, you tend to use an excessive amount of commas when there should be periods or none at all. Unless you are going make a compound, complex, or compound-complex sentence then check to see if they make sense. You also have run-on sentences too. I hope this wasn't too overbearing but I make mistakes as well Just remember to proofread in order to catch a mistake. Remember, your mind works faster than your hands so you will often find a missing word or two in a sentence.
This story was really nice and I loved the characters. My favorite had to be Ryou in this one! Well not because he was a kid but for the fact that he picked a good role model xD The story had sort of a nice pace in advancing to the next scenario. The different POVs gave the reader a better insight into the situation at hand so that helped even more.
Overall, I liked this story and I will follow it. I hope you improve in your writing and make this story even better! Sorry for this review, yes I know I failed miserably, but this was one of my critical ones. I will make sure to lighten up in the next one but keep writing and 'Gambatte' as you once said to me :)