This story was a REALLY good read. I enjoyed every single chapter, and I love your writing! I wish I could be that good, but I'm slowly gettin' there! c:

Aaanyway, I love Julio and David's character. I imagined Julio as an innocent little thing, so cute! :3 Not sure if that was what you were going for, but... *cough* Aha... I love the way you ended it! God, the things I imagined... Excuse my dirty mind, please... xD But, yeah! I really loved it all! And you're a very talented author! :)

My god is your writing fantastic! You inspire me :)

-wipes my eyes- How is this not published yet? This needs to be published so I can buy it and read it every night before bed. GOODNESS. Incredible. I loved it. And Julio was just perfect. Adorable, sweet, curious. Amazing c:

That scared me! OHGOD. I expected it, just not like that D;
Still, I love it. A romantic, new, fresh, sort of version of Pinocchio.
ikindapreferyours c: Amazing.

I don't think it's your best, but it isn't disappointing either. There are clear thematic elements that match up with the past - something about adolescent sexuality or whatever. I'm getting tired (it's 4:30 am here).

Yeah, it was sweet and satisfying. And it's always good to be able to finish a story. This one was never really my favourite, but I've enjoyed reading it beginning to end.

Have you read and John Betjeman? He's really great. I think you would find a good commonality with him. He has a real sense of gardens, which I remember from your writing.

Well, I love it xD it's really sweet and passionate and the vocabulary itself makes it very special and magical. I was very happy this morning to see you updated and I almost chose to stay home today to read it xD but then I realized how great a day this would've been with the prospect of reading this when I come home :D and sure it was, and the text itself didn't disappoint me one bit : as I said, great chapter :D To more such chapters! *raises glass*

Les QQs! Why why why is this awesome story only at chapter 3! QQ
Awesome o.o Gotta say I love its tenderness and how u included magic in it without creating too many unanswered questions xD nice work, again!
I won't say how much I'm waiting for the next chapter cuz u already know that and u'll prolly get bored with me saying it every time xD But yeah I do xD
3
Sky

My heart became all warm when I read the first part, in which you describe the father-son relationship. I got the image of a simple, hardworking man with much love and respect for his wife and craft. You wrote that so well.
Then the description of the puppers. It’s wonderful, I can practically see them appear before me. Your choice of words is remarkable yet again, I’m stunned.

So much work and dedication, of course David would get lonely. Your switch to David’s feelings felt realistic and also fairy tale-like.
When he evolved from obsessing over the doll to falling in love with it, I sarted thinking he was crazy. A bit perverted even. Although I can, in the light of the story, see where he’s coming from, it still felt very strange. But you described it wonderfully. I also loved his and Julio’s reaction when the doll became real. It was so natural.

However as soon as he became human there was another fear in my mind: Now David can’t treat him like a doll any longer. And will he be able to make that switch? But he did it. He became conscious of the difference immediatly, and that shows his intelligence.

I have the impression you love writing about day-to-day interaction, like in Perfection. All these displays of domestic affection are too much of a tease, though (dont take me wrong, I love it) You've written three wonderful long chapters, but much hasn't happened yet. I'm really looking forward to the rest.

Are you only going to update on your website? Because I don’t think I would be going there just to read you (sorry). But I can spread the word about your work. (I am a good spreader – like mayonnaise. No wait, you would be mayonnaise; I would be a butter knife.)
As for buying a book, I have not now nor ever will have the money for that. But I sincerely suggest you try print publication. You are a very good writer – in the top caliber of FP (for whatever that’s worth).
You really have a wonderful gift for the imaginative and the uncanny. You make the miraculous effortless. This is a very powerful tool that not many people seem to be able to make use of. What it is is fundamentally psychological. The miraculous strikes us as true because it reaches a psychological or mythic resonance rather than one based on verisimilitude.
Some issues: the whole “some things I know and some things I don’t” thing. You don’t really need to explain this to the reader, it becomes an unwelcome intrusion of rationalization. And, as Aristotle has said, the reader will believe the impossible but not the improbable.
This is also about sexual awakening… your chosen theme I suppose. Not like there are so many options, if slash is a given. Anyhow, this seems like an exploration of David’s shift from childhood narcissistic sexuality, in his creating a doll to sexually idolize, towards a more adult sexuality that engages with an ‘other’.
But it’s also the journey of an artist. King David is, in the Judeo-Christian tradition, the archetypal artist, being a harpist and traditionally believed to have written some (if not all) of the psalms. Could David be you, and Julio being the piece of art? If so, the story shows how once we create something, it lives… from this perspective, the journey is from the narcissism of the artist at work transformed into the uncontainable life of a piece of art once it’s out into the world.
I find that the story loses some of its power after Julio has come to life. I guess it shifts from a very folk-tale inspired narrative mode to a more novelistic one. What if you wrote a whole story in the tone of voice you use for the first part of this story?

Also: I wrote this about you: fictionpress dot com / s / 2989614 / 12 /

Julio is SO SWEET. I love him.

The paragraphs are much better. It's easier to read this way.

-REB

Oh God. Please, write more! This was enthralling to read, truly, I would LOVE to hear the rest of the story. Pretty please?

Well this was strange and awkward. I'll be reading the second part though.

This is such a gripping story. I await the next chapter with hesitation and delight.

Wow, this was really good!

The descriptions were wonderful, and really put me into the story. Also, David was relatable in his lonliness, even if he was insanely talented.

As for buying a collection of stories...that depends on the price, the number of stories, and if I ever stopped being a broke Sophomore in Highschool. Publishing is definitely something you should look into, though, because from what I

ve seen you're very good at writing.

I really like this! I want to see where it's headed :) Please update soon!