|Reviews for In the Wolf's Rags|
| Curiously Alice chapter 1 . 5/25/2012
This feels very accurate historically, even if it's not, which of course I have no way of knowing, but it feels like it. I loved the descriptions of Conn with his horse, and the relationship he has with his brother is very interesting. More than interesting, those two together are very familiar. It's a good feeling, don't ever lose that. I also envy your knowledge of horses. MAN do I.
Oh, and I totally loved the woman at the end. I was genuinely surprised at seeing her there, stunned that it was a woman. I haven't a story do that for me in a long time. It was a pleasant surprise and I really loved her characterization, despite how little you see of her.
There were a few grammatical and technical errors, but nothing worth dying over. An example might be: "The woods in the Highlands became a black nebulous..." Nebulous is an adjective, not a noun. The noun is nebula, but I wouldn't have used it at all. You actually have a good grasp at making visuals without really stating them.
I guess the only thing I can tell you is that the shortest path between two points is a straight line, right? It's something I struggle with,(as you could probably tell.). Every sentence or description you make should be like that. Maybe not "see spot run" simple, but something that's clear in it's intent.
What is the simplest way of putting something into words for you, how does it sound when you say it out loud? Does that sound like how you would tell the story to someone else?