|Reviews for Right Now|
| AnonymousProclamations chapter 1 . 10/4
I hope there is continuation somewhere. Gah! I can't believe this! Loved it. I hope that seth finds a new love that would be cool. Super steamy. I love milesxtyler. But man tyler is a slut. . ..
| AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 1 . 9/24
Hello! It's me again!
Here's the comments I made while reading :-)
[[He looked around my brother's age, possibly younger, and far from looking like he didn't give a fuck – such as Seth was claiming now to my parents – he looked an absolute mess.]]
This sentence is a little awkward, specifically the part after [[possibly younger]]. I think it could be fixed by a few grammar changes like
[[He looked around my brother's age, possibly younger, and far from looking like he didn't give a fuck – such as Seth was claiming now to my parents. This kid looked an absolute mess.]]
[[One hand – small, girly – was still tangled in Seth's shirt and dark brown bangs fell into his eyes to hide his face.]]
I love this description! I think it would be a bit smoother if you added an "and" in between "small, girly" so it would read "small and girly". I'm nit-picking, though :)
[[The little bit of it I could see was completely flushed. And, upon closer look, he was shaking; the fingers that were curled into my brother's shirt twitching uncontrollably as he hid himself and his shame.]]
[[He could tell I was looking right at him, and one soft brown eye met mine through the curtain of hair.]]
I love this description!
Miles is such a dick name. Just saying.
[["Oh... right... I'm going to have a talk with Seth. Please wait outside."]]
Is this their mom talking?
[[I tried to turn my smile into a much less frightening, and more reassuring one, as the boy hovered inches away from me. Closer, that's it...]]
AH god miles is creepy! This set a chill into my stomach, especially with the way you italicized the last three words!
[[He jumped, crossing his arms nervously over his body as if only now aware that he was a disheveled piece of crap.]]
This is so brutal and douche-y that it's funny
[[or rather, my hand was already pressing roughly against his throat causing his nice brown eyes to bulge out a little in a panic.]]
I would add a parallel to this; [[my hand was already pressing roughly against his throat, causing his nice brown eyes to bulge out in a nice little panic.]]
[[Tyler's hands pulled at mine desperately, whimpering as I cut off his circulation for a moment, desperate to throttle out the words I wanted to hear.]]
Really great description!
[[There I stayed in silence for twenty minutes before a crumpled piece of paper hit me directly in the face.]]
[[He shot up to his feet, lost balance, and toppled to the ground before grabbing both of my kneecaps and resting his head on my lap.]]
Lol! I like this a lot
[[In fact, I only had one, Vicky, and she was usually busy on weekends being a general whore and such.]]
I laughed at the "general whore" thing
This was super messed up but also good, as always! I wouldn't mind reading a continuation~
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/29
I'd love to read more about tyler and miles.
| Woah chapter 1 . 1/27
That was... good, anyhow.
| Demon she-wolf chapter 1 . 12/25/2013
| Jade-n and Adderly chapter 1 . 11/3/2013
Is this really the first time that I've read this story?! BECAUSE OMG. 3
| Helliquin Glitch chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
You should continue this story!
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/1/2013
Ahhhh that was incredible!
| polar.amity chapter 1 . 10/26/2012
Fuck. I forgot how much I love your writing. That dirty mouth gets me every time.
This was gorgeous. And, as much as I would love to see more, I think one-shots are highly underrated. I can’t figure out why, this story is a prime example of perfection: interesting plot, nice character development, outrageously sexy— and all in under 5,000 words. What more could I ask for?
Although I realize stories speak to us, if it wants to be more it will be, no matter what the readers vote for.
In the meantime thanks for the fun.
| Love U Te chapter 1 . 10/1/2012
Hahaaa That was Hawt! xD
| E 330 chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
Yes, please continue. :) I think you ended the story with a tiny cliff-hanger right there. The brother's still behind the door after all. Probably. And I want to know if Miles will actually act like the bastard he's supposed to be. I like your writing style by the way and your lemons are really good (which is rare). Though, in my experience, anal sex isn't as painful as you make it out to be. ;)
| PervertedPrincess chapter 1 . 7/5/2012
Heh, I really liked it ;D
I love the style of your writing too...it flows easily, I guess.
Also, I really was hoping this story would go on, because I think their personalies are all so different, you know?
Like, it has potential to be more than a one-shot...
anyways, thank you, and great job! :D
| Seretei chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
That was pretty fun. Everyone had issues and I would definitely like to read more about them.
| Sayure chapter 1 . 7/1/2012
I liked Milles and I love to read more about him but is this just a one shot thing or what.
Well thanks for the work.
| PuzzledApproach chapter 1 . 6/1/2012
this was really good, i hope u do add more to this and if u do... im sure there would be a three some in the future ;)