|Reviews for This Girl|
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/1/2012
This is really cool.
| peace.LOVE.jonas chapter 1 . 8/27/2012
So true. I kind of went through a period in my life when I just really hated myself and who I was. I thought I was ugly and not worth it. But I overcame that, so I love that you wrote this. :)
| ShatteredInsanity chapter 1 . 6/19/2012
This is really true for alot of girls out their. plus i'm actually one of them. My friends never notice I hide behind my jokes and smile's. My friends say i'm pretty but why should i think what there saying is true there your friends just cause they that doesn't mean it's true it's there job to keep u happy.
| bookppl93 chapter 1 . 6/16/2012
I want to post something related to this that I wrote last night... But I don't Want my parents to see it. Cause it's about them.
| Shauni Cooper chapter 1 . 5/24/2012
wow. Amazing! This is so raw and descriptive, I loved it. I can relate to this so much. Great job, I really enjoyed reading it. Expecting more :)
As always, keep writing!
| LM4E chapter 1 . 5/19/2012
I can tell you are definitely a poet in training because your rhyming shows promise, but your structure could be polished. Rhyme scheme might have been an annoying lesson in elementary school but it definitely helps the poem flow better instead of there seeming to be sudden turns throughout. You had A, A, B, B, C, but then you had D, D, E, E before it felt like you were moving onto the next stanza (starting with "This girl"), which for the reader is confusing and frustrating. Then you had F, G, H, I, I which was better except for the beginning of it. "She's hard on herself/ She only half-heartedly thanks herself for all she does." Repeating 'herself' makes it awkward, and you didn't have anything to rhyme with 'does' which is okay, but it's hard sometimes to get away with no rhyming. You could have said instead something along the lines of "You'd never catch her admit to saying it/ That she doesn't give herself enough credit"-same idea, better rhyme. But I think you mostly need to work on how many syllables you have in each line. I think that's what threw everything off and I'd tell you specifics but I'm tired and don't feel like counting them all out haha. I hope you know what I mean though. Anyway keep writing!
| Beth Brooks chapter 1 . 5/19/2012
Very emtional and raw, very relatiable and i think alot of girls have went through that, very well done! I hope that this girl can see the wonderful woman she is shaping herself into :)
| Natari Mirumura chapter 1 . 5/19/2012
Very nice poem, that is truly to be loved. Amazing job, keep it up