Reviews for Apathy
Flame Within Ice chapter 2 . 8/26/2012
I like the imagery used in this. A match is a very small flame, and if you drop it down a hole it won't stay burning for very long. "Taking and leaving none/Save lights gone to sleep." That's an excellent way of wording the idea of lights going out, and shows that there is no trace of brightness in the black hole.

I also like that the tone of this poem fits very well with the idea that comes across. You managed to give a feeling of momentary hope and then despair with your succession of "...strikes - / Sparks - / A failed attempt." The single word in the second line gives the reader that feeling of a split-second "maybe...just maybe..." but then plunges into darkness as quickly as a dying spark.
RinaJewelz chapter 2 . 8/2/2012
Really like this poem. Firstly because of the light / fire vs the dark imagery which is some of my favourite poetic imagery anyway.
Its striking and has so many connotations, mainly I think of hope being lost
Also your use of dashes and italics is meaningful and v. effective making it easy to read and contemplate. Great job
RinaJewelz chapter 1 . 8/2/2012
nice summary :) I like the format of this piece, I feel the line breaks only add emphasis to what's being said along with the length of the poem which also serves to draw attention to the content. I did find the content a little confusing, at first I thought you were talking about the 'dark' of purposeful ignorance but then juxtaposed with the sweet light reference I wasn't sure what was going on. Have a feeling I'm just not deep enough to get it lol. Love your writing though.
Inkspilled chapter 1 . 8/1/2012
Firstly, nice summary, that really drew me in and I think it's a very perceptive line.
Onto the review:
I really like the brevity of the poem. The shortness allows for the thought to stick in your mind and really focuses on a specific image. It also works well with the image and the nice, clean line breaks.
I don't understand the first line, though I really like the tone of the second one. It says "The dark" and then it says "oh what a sweet light it is" but it's not a light, it's the dark, so I don't really know why the em dash is there if the second line doesn't relate to the first.
Just a personal bit of confusion on my part, anyways. I enjoyed the read!
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 6/6/2012
I like in this poem how you equate darkness to taste. It's a very powerful image that reads in a unique way and makes me think.

I'm not a fan of how you have full-jump paragraph breaks between your lines, as they interrupt the flow of an otherwise crisp and poignant piece.
XXXSyxAdeleXXX chapter 2 . 6/3/2012
I loved your consistent structure and use of metaphor. It elaborated well your point. The contrast between the chapters added a great you were to improve why not add a concluding chapter to finalise the vague.
PotterPower chapter 2 . 5/26/2012
Once again, I love the form of this poem. I love the description, too, because it makes me think of cutting, both the title and the line "A failed attempt. The hole is just too deep."
PotterPower chapter 1 . 5/26/2012
I liked how you divided up your lines, because it reads really well in my head. I also love your form, I think it flows very naturally and has a visual appeal too, because it looks symmetrical. It brings a strong picture into my mind as well, which is the point of poetry :) Reading it the first time, though, I did stumble on the phrase "a sweet light" (I thought it read "a sweet taste"). I really like it :)
Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 2 . 5/25/2012
Ooooh.

I like the use of the whatchacallems... dashes, right.
Rogue Energizer Bunny chapter 1 . 5/24/2012
This is interesting! I love the summary. Apathy is my favorite word this year, actually :).