Reviews for Dark Eyes
The Opheliac chapter 2 . 8/25/2014
Whoops, I reviewed the prologue but accidentally posted it as a guest... *Face Palm*

Anyway, I would advise you to drag your content out just a little bit more; don't jump into the action straight away, give the situation time to expand.

"Hell hath no fury like an angry teenager." This quote is absolutely brilliant! Seriously, what a great one-liner! XD
Guest chapter 1 . 8/25/2014
This is a great intro! I really like your writing style! The only criticism I have is for you to make the transitions between your points of view smoother; it can come across quite jumpy and confusing.

Other than that, great!
augmentedDREAMS chapter 5 . 7/21/2014
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! You updated!

Nuuuuuuuuuuuu! They're married. ㅠ.ㅠ LOL, I had to look back at previous chapters to remember who Mr Diamond is. I wonder who Ariana's boss is, and what does he want with Anya and her siblings. Does this also have something to do with her being the essence bearer? And i think Ariana is a witch. o.o both kind. A witch and a real witch. -.- somehow she cast some magic on Darian. O:

Anyway, I am SO glad you updated! I was missing this fiction so much! Dx
augmentedDREAMS chapter 4 . 5/6/2014
Haaaaaaaaaaw! Ariana is such a bitch. :/

And why haven't you updated in so long!? DX don't tell me you have abandoned this! Please no! Why do all the good ones have to be abandoned? TT_TT I really really want to read more.
CupsOfTea42 chapter 4 . 10/14/2013
Woooooooooh! New chapter! *fist pump* I looooove it! You can bet that I'll stick with this story! I would be insane to ever stop reading this!

You know, I saw another reviewer talk about Ariana and I feel like adding my two cents:D They said something about her being a "stereotypical evil step mother" and how they would like to see more from her. That statement actually caught me by surprise. I'm not one to fuss over someone's grammar or spelling but plot holes and flat characters are my pet peeve. Yet I didn't even think to mention it in my first review when I pointed out how 'evil stepmother'-ish she is. I just sort of accepted her pink plastic self without question. *shrug* I blame your entertaining writing style; I didn't think about how cookie cutter Ariana was because I was so distracted laughing at her:)) It's actually rather impressive!

Now as to why Darian would keep the relationship a secret- or even want be with that Wicked Witch-I could only come up with unnatural reasons. The gist of them being:
Ariana is some (evil) magical being [like a witch or a harpy;] and she put Darian under a spell/enchantment that made him "fall in love" with her so she could get closer to Anya. She probably sensed Anya's "Essence Bearer" thing and wants it for herself. That or she's a gold digger, although that has a .0001% chance.

I like the former better because then that would explain Ariana and Darian's behavior. Otherwise Ariana really is just an underdeveloped character, which is strange since everyone else seems well thought out.

... I am, however, speechless as to where this story is going. I never would have guessed that you would bring in the Lords of Season. And I love that! It's something that's different from other stories and I think it stand out well. Lord Spring (while he seemes like an butt) was very elegantly written and I actually picture an elf when I think of him:3 Like Elrond from Lord of the Rings!

In conclusion, yes the chapter has lived up to my expectations and beyond! You are an extremely talented writer and your story is, in my opinion, flawless. Even Ariana adds more to the story than she takes away:) Just follow your writer instinct and the rest will come. .
Bryanna chapter 4 . 10/14/2013
I like the idea of the lords of the seasons. I wonder how Anya fits into this.
Bryanna chapter 2 . 10/14/2013
I hope there's more to Ariana than just being 'the evil stepmother.' I also find it odd that the dad hid his relationship from his children, only talking to them about her when they've gotten engaged. He should have taken his children's feelings into account. Perhaps he's just a lousy dad?
Bryanna chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
Very nice beginning. Flows well, and the imagery is great. I'm excited to read more!
CupsOfTea42 chapter 3 . 8/7/2013
This is such a great story! I love it!
The first chapter was kind of confusing and when I first read it and found out it was just a fable I was a little disappointed. BUT then I realized that before you had my total attention and it worked to get me hooked! And then young Anya and her sassy little remarks! She's definitely a character I can connect with:) It let the audience get a preview of your AMAZING (and wide ranged) writing skill as well as Anya's character. So props to you on the prologue!
I admire the way you're able to keep the audience (or at least me) entertained by your writing! The fairy tale thing at the beginning was pure awesome-ness because it was mysterious and action-y with a splash of romance:) I have a feeling that is how this story is going to be! When it was just Anya's POV I couldn't help but laugh at every snide little remark she thinks. Or says for that matter!
Oh Ariana. You are how every stereotypical evil stepmother is and yet so much worse. *shakes head* I can hardly believe that any woman in her right mind would wear so much pink! Although it's sad to say I've met people like that...
However someone who I would love to meet is this Blaise. Or Muirin for that matter. Either one is fine by me! ;D I do wonder what Blaise knows. Judging by that hint earlier in the chapter he's here to stay but still I haven't quite decided why he knows her name. And what did her mom give to Anya right before she died? Maybe you would be willing to tell me *does puppy eyes* Please?
Alright that's pretty much all I wanted to say. Sorry I can't give you any advice but personally I can't think of anything that you need to improve on! Oh actually I just thought of something: "Update. Now!"
Ps. Pardon any grammar errors! It's like two in the morning where I'm at...
Evelina Duile chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
Your writing talent is apparent from your use of very descriptive phrases for both the atmoshphere and the characters (especially with the fairy tale). Wow, this is a very long prologue. I'd suggest you cut it down and incorporate some of it into your first chapter.

Also suggest you indent more and seperate more of the dialogue from those paragraphs. For me it was harder to follow along with so many sentences grouped together.

The very beginning threw me for a loop at first and was confusing when it turned out to be a fairy tale being told by Darian. Right now I don't know if the tale will relate to the rest of the story or not. It should. If not, then you should cut it but I'm sure it's important as a metaphor about stories not always ending happily ever after.

I would also like a hint early on as to the power of the Dark Eyes as mentioned in your introduction. If you would elude to that in some small detail that would spark even more interest from your readers. Overall, you have very well defined characters and a story that at this point could go anywhere.
pixie2013 chapter 1 . 1/22/2013
This is such an amazing start! I mean, I couldn't stop reading it and I can't wait to see what else is going to happen! You are an amazing author and how you explain everything is just so cool to me :) Keep up the good work! :)
R.A. Sears chapter 1 . 5/29/2012
Love how you made the "flashback" tie into the start of the story. Love your style. Good dialogue, and good job with the historical part. Looking forward to more! I'm adding it to my community "Sultry Supernature" to hopefully help you get some exposure! Check out some stuff by the other writers there, won't you?
Onearmwonder21 chapter 1 . 5/24/2012
Loved it. :)

Kitty