|Reviews for Endless Immensity of the Sea|
| TonyL chapter 11 . 5/20/2013
Well it seems as if Sidney did not get lucky lol. Nice interaction with Raleigh. I'm curious to see how the date and later on the photo shoot go.
Your writing is great, easy to read and interesting. I am really enjoying this story
| TonyL chapter 10 . 5/20/2013
I was sort of surprised Sydney was throwing herself at him like she did. Petrocilli is a smart man, he knew exactly what she was doing.
Petrocilli is a man of power and used to getting what he wants. If he had succumbed to her advances they would be having sex on her terms. The curious thing is that he never really told her to stop, and I think Sydney will wake up the next morning and feel foolish, but they're not out of the house yet.
To be a bit honest, I didn't really get a clear picture of the house, but that cold be me.
Wonderfully written and entertaining chapter
| TonyL chapter 8 . 5/2/2013
I thought you had given up on this story, I'm glad you haven't
This was a nice chapter, It flowed and was easy to read. I didn't pay any attention to the grammar, but since I had no problem reading the story, I assume the grammar is fine.
I hope you don't wait as long for the next chapter.
Very good chapter
| TonyL chapter 7 . 6/19/2012
This was a very well written chapter. I liked the three scenes. Sidney's thoughts while she was flirting with Raleigh was like a running commentary on her growing attraction to him.
The Shark..A man of mystery. I am very curious about him. I hope you continue with his character. Why is he so dominant? and why is he losing weight? sick or grief or maybe both.
The seduction. Very well written. Also tastefully done. I could be wrong but for some reason I think that this may have been goodbye sex.
| S. Jacks chapter 3 . 6/10/2012
Scot's reaction, unexpected. And I think it's his reaction that finally drew me into the story. Sounds like he's done some soul-searching on the relationship, like for once the man of the relationship might be more mature. Or, it might be something else completely, I don't know! :) Anyway, I've enjoyed reading it up to this point!
| OneOriginalThing chapter 3 . 6/10/2012
I can't say I completely understood what just happened here. I don't really understand Bruce's intentions. I can't understand what he really wants. Why he wants it, or what he's going to do with it. Bruce seems very mysterious, almost as mysterious as Sidney and he's relationship and past. I wonder if he's dying, that would deffinetly explain why he came back out of nowhere to see Sidney I feel like leaving her a widow isn't really the best way to tie loose ends but he's his own person and can hopefully make his own decisions
| OneOriginalThing chapter 2 . 6/10/2012
Well this is an interesting development. I can't help but ask what was the importance of the weekend warrior scene. Also I don't entirely understand Their relationship, as well as I feel this is much too sexual for me. I can't help but feel curious to what is happening, and I can't wait to read the next chapter!
| OneOriginalThing chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
Ooooo Bruce! I wonder how they know each other. I think she s a very interesting charector, from an even more interesting background, I think she has a lot of potential to develop into something completely AWSOME. I liked her dad as well, he really seemed like a dad. And they seemed to have a comfortable relationship, which helped the dialogue flow very well, and seem appropriate for the scene. I didint really understand the entire opening but it was interesting in the least
| Whirlymerle chapter 2 . 6/10/2012
Forgot mention, I love the names you'd given to the dogs!
["I apoligize.] spelling- apologize
["You've got yourself some stems," He ran a hand from her thigh to her toes.] Comma should be a period.
[and wants you back," She shrugged] comma should be a period here
["No." Anne said] period should be a comma
Ah interesting. So Sidney has multiple admirers, huh? It would be interesting to see what happens when Steve finds out.
| Whirlymerle chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
Returning your reviews :)
[Mookie, what the fuck] Haha!
I was impressed by the way you wrote because you managed to show the casual atmosphere really well and easily.
I wish there was slightly a bit more introduction to your characters. There were a lot and I was a little confused by all the names thrown around. While an info dump would have been much, much worse, I think your characters would benefit from having a bit more detail.
| TonyL chapter 6 . 6/9/2012
It was clever having the conversation between brother and sister while they made dinner. That gave your characters life. I could envision them moving around and performing tasks as they talked.
I also got a cooking lesson and like Marla; I think i'm having chicken tonight. You made that chicken sound delicious.
Then only criticism I have is at the beginning of the chapter I had a little trouble following the characters, but that could be just me.
Enjoyable chapter and I'm looking forward to your next chapter
| TonyL chapter 5 . 6/9/2012
I am impressed with this marina. I wonder how much a foot they charge to keep a boat there?
I like the personal touch you bring to the story. Such as Sydney forgetting her shorts. Not important in the scheme of things, but it makes your characters more human.
I enjoyed the slightly flirtatious interaction between Petrocilli and Sydney.
I enjoyed reading this chapter
| Marla's Found chapter 6 . 6/9/2012
What a brother! "...Don't give me that, I saw you drooling over him. Not that I blame you, he's a tight piece of ass. And he's a photographer so there's the chance of a sex tape..." Gotta love a bro with a mind like that!
***I liked this little attention to detail:.."...Sidney stared intently at her carrots, making sure they were in perfect, uniform disks..."
Loved the suprise Fatherish question: "...Did he ask to marry you?" Rich asked. Marie turned to her husband, dumbstruck..." Typical to leave the mom out of the equation...who's gonna plan the wedding?
Still, very enjoyable chapter and I think I'm going to be making some rice and chicken for dinner!
| Marla's Found chapter 5 . 6/9/2012
***Loved this line:...Mookie was completely wound up, shaking his rope toy violently before greeting Anne...***My dog does that and you described it perfectly.
***This was a nice scene: "... He held her hand for a few more moments and Sidney had the completely unprofessional urge to kiss him. She imagined leaning forward a measly half a foot, standing on tip-toe and gently pressing her lips against his. She imagined it would be extraordinary to feel the muscles so half-heartedly hid under that crisp white shirt..." ** Mr. G sounds yummy!
***Loved this line too: "...Italian Stallion billionaire stud hottie patotti..." Yowza - makes me think of a younger, taller Sylvester Stallone. (Who did you have in mind when you created Mr. Hottie?)
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 3 . 6/7/2012
Ah, okay, so Bruce apparently has two names. I'm sorry, I'm a little slow. xD For some reason I thought Scot and Bruce were two different people. But yeah, I like how Sidney brings him back to her place and tries to seduce him, but he ends up turning her down. While I don't know how plausible that type of situation is (I don't think I've ever met a guy who would turn down sex, no matter the time/place/situation) it is refreshing to see that he cares about her and doesn't want to put her through that type of confusion. Also, that little bit with the dogs greeting each other was cute - again, I like how you include them in the story. It feels almost like their an animal form of Sidney/Bruce.
I'm wondering who this Jamie person is. I know Jamie can be either a male or female name, and the thought of him going to spend time in another woman's house is rather infuriating, considering the circumstances between him and Sidney. Hopefully it's a dude...