|Reviews for Peculiar|
| LsyBlurb chapter 1 . 7/29/2012
the beginning was very powerful. i love the rich description you put in. it gives us a very clear image of what happens. i like this phrase especially, "Her whole body became a string of beads, unstrung." the imagery is strong. it was a bit confusing towards the end but nonetheless i enjoyed it (: great job!
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 6/11/2012
Ooh. You do a really good job in creating the atmosphere and tone of this. I loved the creepy, almost insane feel to this.
I love how you start of with a dream. It a gentler way to begin this and makes what comes next even more of a shock. At first I thought it was just a nightmare that a normal lady had, but obviously not. Your descriptions of her dream were interesting and vivid. I loved your word choice and sentence structure. The image of the collapsing skeleton was great, especially with the line "Her whole body became a string of beads, unstrung." Love that metaphor.
After the dream she seems like a normal woman waking up from a nightmare and I love how you lull your reader into a false sense of security. For a minute I thought you were going to talk about how the dream affected her day-to-day life. And then we went down into the basement. I totally wasn't expecting what came next and I loved the surprise. Your descriptions of what went on in the basement were really well done. I was almost squicked out while reading them, they were so unexpected and vivd.
I thought you ended this pretty well, too. The fact that this woman didn't seem to change after her arrest made her more interesting and memorable. I really liked that.
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 6/9/2012
I really enjoy the images here in the beginning paragraph. They're very visceral and extremely creepy - I'd probably freak out if I looked down and saw my hands were crumbling away, haha. Makes me think of Poltergeist when the father looks into the mirror and starts pulling off pieces of his face. Very creepy.
Wow. Such chilling opening paragraphs - I really enjoyed them, though. They actually had me cringing, and that's not a very easy thing to do. I also appreciated the depth of description you gave about the bones and how they were falling apart.
At least, I'm pretty sure that was poltergeist...
Ahaha, this is so disgusting on so many different levels, but I love it. This woman really is bat-shit crazy, isn't she? At first I thought she might be eating the bodies, but I thought what you came up with was a pleasant surprise.
Good job. This was a very creepy, disturbing flash fic. :)
["You're a bit ironic, aren't you? I bet a lot of your cabbie friends had to drive you home on weekend nights..."]
Lol, okay, I found this line of dialogue oddly hilarious.
A few minor nit-picks:
[They turned to bone as the little pieces scattered across the counter, some fell down the drain with a tiny echo, others clattered across the tiled floors.]
Edit: Not sure if this is deliberate, but the first comma before 'some' should be a period or a semi-colon.
[Her wrist bones pooled at the bottom of the sink, the littler pieces rolled away, into the sewers.]
Edit: Same with this sentence, the first comma should be a period or semi-colon.
[She tried desperately to stop her hand from falling apart, she grabbed her barely present left hand with her intact right, but it caught like a disease and the other hand began falling apart, too.]
Edit: Same with this one. xD
[She flexed the fingers and watched the tendons and veins shift beneath skin]
Style: This is all personal preference, but I found the missing 'her' before 'skin' a little strange.
[The right hand is exposed, flesh stuck stubbornly to rigid fingers. She pulls out her toolbox from a drawer in the adjacent table, and begins to pick at the wrist, peeling dried flesh off.]
Style: I noticed these sentences were in present-tense instead of past-tense like the rest of the chapter.
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 6/9/2012
Loved the opening dream sequence with its fluid, metaphysical imagery. The crumbling bones seemed an apt metaphor for the protagonist's mental state as her sense of normalcy becomes warped by her sick interests. As disturbing as her fascination with the corpse is, it's also apparent that there's something about the human anatomy that keeps her sane, albeit in her sense of the word.
The ending line was another clincher. It smacks of black irony and hints at trouble to come. Very climatic and memorable. It certainly helps cement the impression you set out to make with this short piece.