|Reviews for My Sun|
| Luna's Child chapter 1 . 3/7/2013
Once again, this was a fantastic poem! It was really dear to me because I just so happen to call my special someone my sun haha!
That's it, I'm adding you to my favorite authors list.
| Velvet Vixen chapter 1 . 6/14/2012
Well I loved the ending, for me it made what would otherwise be a bit of a cliché into a sort of lighthearted bit of fun. Maybe that's just my interpretation of it, but like a previous reviewer said, I was starting to feel a bit annoyed by the overwhelming praise of the woman so when I got to the end, it was a pleasant surprise and I actually laughed! ;)
Other than that, it was a nice poem with some very unique twists on classic lines (picked out by previous reviewers) and it had a nice flow. I liked it :)
| LovelySocks chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
Well, this is surely better than anything I've ever wrote! It clearly comes from the heart, and perfectly describes the feeling of unconditional love and admiration for one who truly deserves it. The images seem real, and the metaphors give me something to think about. My favorite lines are "Her laughter is like sweet warmth," and "And when it rains, Around her, it rains light." My only critique is more like a personal opinion than an actual critique: the ending takes a little bit away from the loving mood of the poem. It's still amazing, but I just think it could've have ended differently. Even still, the poem is great and the ending is absolutely fine as well.
| XiaanRei chapter 1 . 5/29/2012
This is great :D.
Your imagery is dazzling, I just love this line -"Her eyes glitter like sunlight on water." Wow.
I also found it easy to relate to, and I even found myself asking questions about this unnamed female. So good job there. :P.
-"Her laughter is like sweet warmth," This line made me smile, it's adorable.
I have to admit, my favourite line was -"And when it rains around her, it rains light". There's something about the simplicity of it that is just amazing.
| Drops of Dew chapter 1 . 5/26/2012
Well, let me start out with saying you did good.
I do enjoy the sincerity of the poem as it really does bring the emotion across. Your use of metaphors and similes is well distributed - not choking us readers with more than we can handle.
"Her eyes glitter like sunlight on water." - Hm, I have never seen that one used before - but I like it.
"When it rains around her, it rains light." - My favorite line in the poem hands down.
Your style is rather simplistic and vivid - something that I can appreciate.
However, I do have some criticism for you. It's probably just preference, but I don't really like the extreme glorification of the person the narrator is obviously infatuated with. It just irks me and is something may be off-putting.
"Her radiance passes on to everyone." - Admittedly, I was getting really irked by this line.
In addition, this is rather cliche - with the intense amount of glorifying the unnamed female. For some, this may seem like an overused classic.
Maybe it's just that I am averted to this kind of subject...
Stylistic-wise, you don't use any periods and the actual poem is bold and italicized - but I suppose that is your preference.
But overall, your figurative language and description makes this a worthwhile read. Please keep up the good work.