|Reviews for Goodbye, Blue Sky|
| J.Kuzzey chapter 36 . 9/14/2012
Another review from the phone :)
Man, I really loved this chapter. This added so much depth to Lion. It's great that you allow us time to learn about all these characters, because they are all so fascinating!
"He shot himself. In the head."
"Oh. So – he's dead?"
"Yeah, that's usually fatal."
I laughed SO HARD reading that, but felt myself wince at the same time. Everyone has made an awkward slip up like that at least once in their life. That's what I really enjoy about the humorous moments in this story. They seem real to me.
I find it interesting that Lion didn't seem to give an answer as to why he didn't kill the man. He doesn't believe in Hell, so maybe he's not a religious kind of guy. Perhaps he just believes in the value of life. I feel like this chapter answered quite a bit about Lion but also gave us more questions, too. I like that; we never really know someone 100%.
| J.Kuzzey chapter 35 . 9/14/2012
Another review from my phone so sorry if there's any spelling or grammar mistakes!
"Sometimes we need these little talks." So true. I felt like I hadn't heard the real Andrei in awhile (though this is likely because I've been away from FP for awhile!), so it was refreshing to hear his thoughts and see him speak again. He's so patient with the kids, it's almost adorable. The scene in the beginning, especially. Though it's also... sad. I feel bad for these kids and what they have to live through in this world. It seems as though they don't mind too much, but their curiosity is still there. That's actually pretty deep in its own way!
Ah, Ciel, unlucky to be caught but lucky to not end up beat. But again I notice a watch being used in the story. I feel like I can't forget a single thing I read, since even a single sentence or slightest metaphor may pop up again. That's awesome. Although I could once again be reading too much into it.
Overall, an interesting chapter.
| J.Kuzzey chapter 34 . 9/14/2012
I'm reviewing on my phone so sorry for any grammar mistakes!
Whoa, Kai is back! Though it's tough to be certain what side he's truly on... Your prose does an excellent job making the reader truly feel the way Luco does in terms of what it means to be betrayed. Especially in the beginning of this chapter, I was really feeling almost angry. More now than ever, if only because I felt as though I had dwelled on this betrayal just like I'm sure Luco had.
Also, I thought it was awesome using the Ziggurat as a... metaphor? Imagery? Whatever the proper literary term is. Then, there he realizes its really just a building, nothing more. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
I laughed way harder than I probably should have at this exchange:
"You're here to redeem yourself."
"Like a coupon?"
| Elixssam chapter 6 . 9/14/2012
I've read six chapters in and so far, the way you tell the story is very enticing. It keeps me going. For the first few chapters the stop and go, with minimal detail really works well. It gives it a bit of mystery that just keeps the reader thinking and wondering what this is, what that is, what's going on ect. I like the way you tell the story, and I feel, for the main character, the descriptive way you tell it works really well. It's almost like journal entries, leaving you wondering about things that would be obvious to him and not to you, the reader.
But I feel like there's something lacking in places. Almost like if you put just a little more here or there, it would really hit home. Also I feel the main character is being propelled all over the place without reacting much to it. I mean he can't go home, gets shoved in with a bunch of kids, and right into a mission. I feel he should react a little more. But that's just my opinion.
All in all I'm pretty hooked and I'll keep reading, which is a hard thing to accomplish with me. I tend to be a bit picky. heh
| Amiigan chapter 20 . 9/9/2012
The resistance, at least this cell, has gotten scattered and we're getting some new perspectives. It sad what's happening to this particular bunch of Children, hope they get back together, and the captured escape (it seems like Sunshine is going to make an attempt). It also seems like May and Lion are falling for each other, and seeing their friends are possibly dead are imprisoned, have run off to find their own way together; but this 'wall' that keeps getting mentioned is a barrier to any true escape from the war. As for the Reapers, I like their perspective, and how they don't call themselves that. I never expected that to be a slur. And again, from the attitude these occupiers are giving off, their moral seems to be slipping.
I didn't think days had gone by over the course of the last few chapters, especially enough time where it seemed Sunshine was loosing touch with reality, or at least pretending, which was sense I was given at the end of the chapter. I'm also getting the feeling his brother is up to something more than just trying to find him. Just a hunch.
| J.Kuzzey chapter 33 . 9/8/2012
It's been a while since I've read this story, so I was afraid I would forget everything. Turns out, I was able to pick up this chapter and move right along! I think that's a testament to the fact you have a very interesting story here. If it had been boring or cliche, I would have forgotten. So good job!
I liked the conversation about saying the word "sorry." It really doesn't change a whole lot, does it? What's done is done. At the same time, sometimes saying "sorry" can heal your heart and theirs. It's hard to tell, sometimes.
Also, Venn laughing at suddenly realizing May was a girl had me snickering, too. Really, that entire scene was amusing. But, on to serious business now that Alex has met May! I'm glad she didn't just push him off the roof. I had a great mental picture of him struggling to keep up with her, especially as he tried to scurry up the building.
| True Talker chapter 41 . 9/3/2012
This is really quite creative. Thank you for sharing this.
| Scarlet-SKull chapter 7 . 8/31/2012
What brats lol Like their bravery though. Everyone seems so rebellious! There was some minor grammar errors, nothing too bad. Again, there was that lack of balance, I'm sure you know where. " p But I guess that's just your style. Maybe try doing a little of it in the beginning just to give readers some type of setting to bite onto and while they read, they can unravel the rest through their creativity. Not having a hook to hang onto keeps me in the air. Maybe it's just how I read.
Also, background for character are also important. I have to do that myself.
Nice characters. You keep tossing those chapters over here and I'll keep Frisbee catchin em!
| Amiigan chapter 16 . 8/30/2012
A development I did not see coming. I wonder how Sunshine's going to get out of this one (and was that gailor an infiltrator? hmmm). I like the paranoia if they should flee or not. I got the impression the Reapers pretty much wrote them off, but if I was in that situation, I would probably overestimate my opponent's scrutiny as well. As for the Reapers themselves, they seem rather incompetent, though not in an unrealistic way, but mirroring their opponents in being quite divided in their own ranks. Also I get a sense very few have their hearts in it, just moving along to save themselves and their buddies rather than believing in the overall war effort.
| Amiigan chapter 12 . 8/24/2012
It seems I was very wrong about this being a 1930s type of setting. Aside from the musical references, its clear by the mention of the fashion and other modern tech. I'm taking this as its some alternate timeline, maybe even the future.
Other than that, I'm getting a better picture of the situation. It seems the Children of the Earth aren't all on the same level, and there has been an ongoing insurgency, with many attempted purges before. I like the cut-aways to other characters to get a better picture of the overall situation; but it does get a bit confusing at times, had to reread some parts here and there.
As for grammar, I saw a typo in the 2nd part of chapter 9. "Only Luco and May remain by the fire. Beside the old subway track." The last sentence is incomplete and could just be fused to the previous. Other than that, nothing else stuck out to me.
| Anaxeco chapter 9 . 8/22/2012
Hey You is one of my absolute FAVORITE Pink Floyd songs. Have I mentioned that I love all of the references to them in this?!
| Anaxeco chapter 8 . 8/22/2012
Still enthralled by your story but I got a little lost towards the end of this chapter. I think it might be because I have trouble with remembering names. Anyway, I read over it a couple of times and am back on track. Terribly excited for what is to come! Especially with Andrei! I hope they have a brotherly reunion and make up but that might be asking for quite a bit :P
I really like how you had the first section of this chapter from the point of view of the Reapers.
| Anaxeco chapter 7 . 8/22/2012
Ahh yes! Some secret behind the identity of Kai?! I hope so :)
| Anaxeco chapter 6 . 8/22/2012
Ah! It actually pains me to write a review right now because I just want to keep writing, but I have stuff to say so I'm going to anyway ;)
"Wait. Are you a – " was referring to May being a girl, right? Like, he hadn't noticed that yet? I'm pretty sure but I wanted to double check.
I really like;
"You ran away, didn't you?
I didn't run.
You ran away from them.
You're afraid, aren't you?
I am not afraid.
I'm not sure what/who exactly he's dreaming(?) of, but I'm really hoping to find out in the later chapters!
I'm also incredibly excited to figure out more about this organization or rebellion :3
| Anaxeco chapter 3 . 8/20/2012
I'm only on chapter three and I'm already completely hooked on your story- so congratulations on that! Can't wait to see what happens as I continue, ;)