|Reviews for Taken|
| Historicalbookworm chapter 1 . 11/24/2012
| Kaidon Sokari chapter 1 . 5/28/2012
Good story. The feel is there. So is the atmosphere. It is easy to empathize with the girls and their situation. There's something bugging me though.
Paragraphing. Different lines of thought should be in a new paragraph. That'll make it an easier read. At least start a new paragraph for dialogue. One paragraph for one sentence is the general recommendation.
Do run a spell check through your writing before you put it up. I know the feeling when you just completed a piece of writing you feel good about and want to share it with others. But a simple copy and paste into MS Word just to scan for the red lines does wonders. For one it'll remove the feeling that you just wanted to have the story up as soon as possible. It's a good idea to give it some time before you reread it and publish a finalized version of it.
Otherwise, good work with the first chapter.
| Scarlet-SKull chapter 1 . 5/28/2012
Liked the effect! The suspense kept me reading, well done! One tip for you though: Switch between short and long sentences. It would give the literature a livelier beat.
| Annie Dot chapter 1 . 5/28/2012
I loved your descriptions. I can imagine everything that is going on. I can't wait for more!