Reviews for Look At Me
Velvet Vixen chapter 1 . 6/15/2012
I liked this one and it felt a lot as if it could so easily be lyrics. It was very emotional and I think you conveyed a beautiful balance between the persona leaving but also staying and keeping so much of what has happened with them - so akin to moving on in life.

The structure I thought was very well done and it fit well with what you were saying. Physically separating the "moving on" voice and the "looking back" voice then made it possible to read each part on its own and be good, as well as being good together. It also emphasised that despite being (I assumed) the same person, there is a difference in who they are - though it could be read as two different people too, I'm not sure that fits as well.

Just thought I'd point out that in the third stanza, in the 6th line it says 'I all I did, all I said' - wasn't sure if the first 'I' was supposed to be there. It's a minor thing though and I was just pointing it out! A lovely poem with lots of depth. :)
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 6/6/2012
I liked the formatting of this. It was unique and kept my eye moving across the page. It was an interesting effect and I thought it worked well. You could, however, improve the formatting of this even more by using single line-breaks instead of paragraph breaks, as the space between the lines creates a gap in the flow and looks more clunky to my eye.
cellophanediamond chapter 1 . 6/3/2012
I really like this:) The subject is totally relatable, and you describe it very well. I especially like the lines "My road is dark, You can start the spark." and "My life lies ahead, a path I must tread".

I think the formatting of this poem is really cool. Having some of the stanzas on the left and some in the middle made it a whole lot more fun to read than if it had all been on one side. This poem also has a really nice song-like rhythm.
YuePantera chapter 1 . 5/31/2012
This is so emotional, and often things that I think myself! Good work on this and this could easily be a song! :) I enjoyed it a lot. You're a very good poet with your own unique style!
XiaanRei chapter 1 . 5/31/2012
I really like this.

"My road is dark, You can start the spark."- Awesome line.

My only criticism would be the structure, I find it quite confusing to read (though, it could just be the layout of my screen), but I also do not see any real point in it (the structure, not the poem, I get the point of the poem).

Either way, I like the poem, it's good. :)

It has a nice rhythm to it.
Kate chapter 1 . 5/30/2012
Aww best, this is so sad! But really good too 3
MeMeLuvsBookz chapter 1 . 5/30/2012
Ok this is formated weird but i like it!