|Reviews for Slumber|
| Juliet Scar chapter 7 . 8/11/2012
Yay! I finished the story and I'm glad to say... I LOVE IT! You did a really good job with it! Keep up the good work!
| Juliet Scar chapter 6 . 8/11/2012
Awww! I love Jason! And this story, by the way - I can't wait to see what happens next!
| greymidnight chapter 7 . 7/31/2012
This was such a lovely story! I loved the character development in both the characters. Allison's character was wonderful – I liked the nurturing, motherly side of her. Not many authors can pull off that characteristic without their character coming across as irritating and over-protective, but I was not annoyed by Allison in the slightest. I fell in love with Jason almost immediately. His quiet, subdued, but determined and passionate personality was amazingly executed. The slow transfer of Allison's and Jason's emotions from platonic family love to passionate romantic love was amazing, heartbreaking, and very believable. Wonderfully written!
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/26/2012
The first sentence took me off guard: "sunny hair"- ... ? Um, what's sunny hair supposed to be (no sarcasm intended)?
Lovely ending by the way.
I wouldn't mind if you decide to expand the ending a little; this is a nice, dare I say it, cute, ending, but it feels a bit abruptly ended as well. Then again, as I didn't create this work, I don't really have any idea as to how it would be expanded-
Slumber. Definitely one of my favorites, and fully recommended to any potential readers out there on the site. [HINT to REVIEWERS: this work has anonymous reviews allowed- so no need for the hassle with logging in- just give this great story the praise it deserves!]
I rarely (if ever) give reviews. The fact I stopped and spent 15 minutes of my time to review EVERY CHAPTER IN THIS STORY- well, go figure.
Thanks for the great read.
| Green chapter 6 . 7/26/2012
[divided about feelings]
Well, regarding the plot development, of course I feel disappointed in Jason - sigh. What a kid.
But, this chapter feels a bit rough, as in Allison's reaction isn't "overreacting". If any, she's underreacting and that kid needs a good spanking. Personally, she shouldn't have caved so easy, and if she loved her brother so much, she definitely wouldn't have just brushed it off after 1 minute of heavy breathing, frustration, and anger.
As a whole, this chapter is still better than most works out there on FP anyways. :] But, in this story, my standards are exceedingly high from the past chapters.
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/26/2012
Exciting plot developments! I, the reader, am hooked ;]
Meanwhile, I suspect there are some real-life experiences coloring those jaded, yet humorous words about medication? :) Adds a very realistic touch, and makes the story believable.
| Green chapter 4 . 7/26/2012
The dialogue scenes are very fluid and natural to read; for the most part, you have evaded the usual writing trap of being too choppy.
| Green chapter 3 . 7/26/2012
The sense of humor conveyed in this story is hilarious. Finally, a story that can be funny in an intelligent manner! ;]
| Green chapter 2 . 7/26/2012
The way you develop the characters, esp. Allison, in this chapter is very promising. As I've said before, this story has quickly become one of my favorites.
| Green chapter 1 . 7/26/2012
Wow. This story is a rare jewel on fictionpress- great tone and style throughout; the clarity of the piece that still manages to perfectly transmit the emotions of the scene- beautiful work. And the plot is very unique as well. Characterization is decent, could be better, but doesn't draw from the work as a whole. Conclusion: I really enjoyed this :]
| Synonymous Lovechild chapter 6 . 7/7/2012
This is really adorable! Its actually funny because I know no sibling real relationship is as smooth as this...(little brothers are generally annoying and I'm always fighting with mine...) Update soon...dude!
| Perdu chapter 4 . 6/24/2012
I missed Chapter 3? I suck. But noooooo! Jason's growing up...the little turd xD and Allison's leaving? D: I hope Jason really does call her every day hahaha! I'll be sad if they get distant...though Jason's hard for me to figure out, so who knows? Not me!
This story deserves more reviews than just my cruddy ones D: but I hope you'll update soon...and that I'll notice, ahaha.
| Perdu chapter 2 . 6/3/2012
Why does this not have any reviews? It's absolutely adorable! You can tell Jason and Allison really do love each other, and their bond is so much cuter than normal siblings (well, siblings I've seen). I wish I had an adorable little brother...hahaha.
I'll have to keep an eye on this story :D I hope you'll update soon!