|Reviews for After Effects|
| roleplaying chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
Very suspenseful, I love it! The part I'm confused on is if she commit suicide or just ran away. If it was just running away, I feel the sadness could have been toned down among the people, though if she died obviously they'd be upset. Other than making that clearer I think it is very impressive!
| April Saunders chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
This actually made me cry. I can kind of relate to Aleena's letter, because at a certain point in my life I was depressed and I feel sorry for everyone who loved her. This is really emotional I love that about this story. I'll read the others tomorrow night.
(Sorry for any typos. I'm reviewing from my tablet).
| love971 chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
I can say that i actually cried. Amazing description, giving the air and silence such dark personalities.
| ElettraBelle chapter 1 . 7/31/2012
Rach, you're an excellent writer. You know that? I love how you discribed the atmosphere. And more of that, I'm begining to get pulled in this story. A tear was going to spill as I read the letter. You're AWESOME!
| thisismeCRAZY chapter 1 . 6/11/2012
this is really good, apart from one or two grammer/spelling mistakes that i couldn't help but pick up on. i love how you have created the atmosphere and the tension that you have built up. the way that you have shown how the different characters react is very interesting. like in my story "simply messed up", i managed to get into each of my characters and wrote how i felt, in their shoes, about their problems. you should read it, it's quite good (even if i do say so myself), it has a few similar themes to this story of yours :)
| XxSaMMiExX06 chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
Wow. Your writing is amazing. It's so descriptive and makes you get into the moment. I enjoyed reading this story. :)
| drummergotbeat chapter 1 . 6/9/2012
This is awesome! I've read it like 5 times and each time I still feel the suspense and everything x)
| Creativedreamer970 chapter 1 . 6/3/2012
Wow, that was so beautifully done, you're an amazing author, my story pales to yours in comparison! I was sucked in, the tone was set just right, the detail perfect. :) You captured the emotions just right. I am so excited to read more of your works and I'm sorry I wasn't the first review! Love, Gabrielle
| GlitterAttack chapter 1 . 6/2/2012
Hi, GlitterAttack here!
So, the website just sent me the activation link after 12 hours! I know, annoying!
Anyways, I really like this story!
It's very dark and suspenseful, and you keep a very consistent vibe throughout the whole story!
I like your characters, even if it was a very brief story! They have very pretty names too!
Great job, overall, can't wait to read more from you.
P.S.- I got chapter 2 to Waiting All My Life up (on fan fiction)
Great one-shot, you have a lot of talent!
| Girly 411 chapter 1 . 6/2/2012
Wow! That was pretty well done. )
I kind of got the feeling from the beginning that the note the narrator was reading was a suicide note. And the reactions of the others as the one-shot gets closer to the end seemed to add to that early assumption, so it was good. The other thought I had when it got to the point where the room was being described (the messy bed, the otherwise organized room, the open window) was that it could've been a runaway note. Heheh... Then again, the boyfriend's reaction made me go back to my first thought. P
This was a very powerful story. The tone of the narration is absolutely fantastic. It really helps to set the mood and tip the readers off to the fact that something serious happened. Excellent job! It really did give me the feeling that I was experiencing the heavy atmosphere and the shock/disbelief as well.
I hate to nitpick, but I did spot a few errors:
"She had her knees pulled up and her arms wrapped around the,."
I think you meant "the," to be "them". )
"Je had just gotten here, and was looking around trying to find out what had happened."
"Je" should be "He". Je is French for I. XD
"The brightness seemed all to fake, it didn't seem real enough to really be there."
In this case, you meant to write "all too fake" with two O's instead of one. Also, instead of a comma between "fake" and "it", there should be a semi-colon (;).
Other than that, excellent work! The grammar is a little off in some sentences (commas mostly), but it's not a problem. The story is still very effective. Great job! D