Reviews for Brothers
SailorBear23 chapter 15 . 7/23/2012
i finally caught up! and now I am going to cry because i'm caught between loving Finn and Lily and feeling bad for Liz and wishing that Liz and Finn could get along better and gosh I cannot wait for more this is absolutely perfect. I'm going to guess you're British because like the school and the money obviously and Flake omg Flake is my favorite but i can't get it here it sucks. but okay this is perfect keep writing omg i love it. :)
SailorBear23 chapter 11 . 7/23/2012
okay so it took longer than i told you to read this but I finally am and before i read the rest i feel compelled to review this chapter because i must tell you i screamed when i read that Lily and Finn are dating. . i love this story it is perfect.
Juliette Reynolds chapter 15 . 7/21/2012
Gosh, I hate cliff-hangers... This is super good!
MirrorWitch79 chapter 15 . 7/20/2012
please continue! Itsogood. XD
SailorBear23 chapter 1 . 7/19/2012
Sorry i didn't get back to you about your review on my story earlier! I've been a bit busy and writing has been second priority to a bunch of other things. As much as i love it I haven't been able to bring myself to type very easily lately. I just finished your first chapter of this one. I read it because i thought i could relate to it, and Finn happens to be one of my favorite names, so I'm hooked for sure and have every intention on reading the rest! I'll have a review up on the rest of it by tomorrow, promise!
Oh, and something tells me that Finn might not turn her down, and everything might not be alright. Hmmm...
RainEpelt chapter 15 . 7/19/2012
Woah dun dun dun... Who's Finn again?
RainEpelt chapter 14 . 7/14/2012
Yum... *drooling*
Merlyn Pyndragon chapter 13 . 7/12/2012
Glad I wasn't old enough to have to deal with my younger siblings like that :P Never been one for babysitting either. No kids for me, thank ya very much.
By the way, what's a flake?
RainEpelt chapter 13 . 7/12/2012
Yay! Shows those noseys who's boss! Good chapter!
LyssBliss chapter 12 . 7/9/2012
Blargh, finally got around to reviewing your brilliant story. I'd always start a review but forget what I was going to say. Anyway, here it goes.

Thanks for fixing the dialogue for the first few chapters, it looks a lot better now. You don't have to put tags on every single line of dialogue. It kinda gets a bit sore on the eyes after a while. He said. He shouted. She muttered. He screamed. They asked. Stuff like that. It's a minor detail but just to point out that you don't have to have that on every line of dialogue.

However, your characters are quite unique and your portrayals of sibling rivalry are accurate and realistic. I love how the characters seem so real and I especially love how you ended Chapter 12. Great job!
RainEpelt chapter 1 . 7/7/2012
Three bothers? Puh-lease. My sister Ru has four brothers, including me!
Merlyn Pyndragon chapter 11 . 7/7/2012
Well, someone has probably answered you by now, but you have to upload the chapter again from your computer in the Doc Manager (upload) section. Make all the corrections, then save and hit Manage Stories under the Publish tab. Select the the story you're going to edit. At the top, hit content/chapters, then scroll down and you'll find an option to replace chapters. Tab down under "Replace content in chapter..." to find the chapter you want to replace, then tab down under "with content of document..." to find the file to replace it. Then hit replace chapter. Poof! :D

So, Finn and Lily are being all mushy now, good, good... *Grimace* I agree with those two mini devils: gross and yuck ;D (It's the little kid in me. Plus it's never pleasant to see your brother snog someone. Two friends, fine. Siblings, nooooo)

Lane and Maxwell are adorable by the way :) I mean, I wouldn't want them as MY brothers, but...
RuciliaChrisSpellson chapter 10 . 7/5/2012
Awesome! Epic! Tres Fabu!
Merlyn Pyndragon chapter 9 . 7/3/2012
Urg, the cursed no-seat-on-the-bus-so-you-stand-there-looking-like-a-bumbling-buffoon problem *lemon face* I preferred the half hour walk that came with moseying up to highschool :P
I forgot to ask whether you got a beta starting at around chapter 3 or 4. No offence, but I found it difficult to understand the first few chapters because there was no new paragraph at every new speaker.
Anyways, well done :D *Waits patiently for next chapter*
HerpDerp8215 chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
Your sentence structure is pretty good but you MUST begin a new paragraph during dialogue when the focus shifts to another character. You've got multiple people carrying on discussions all within singular blocks of text and it is disorienting to the reader. If you're not sure of the rules for punctuating dialogue, look them up. They are your friends :)
45 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 Next »