|Reviews for Fatal Collision|
| wasabii chapter 1 . 1/25
This is a really good story! It seems realistic, especially the teens since I'm one!
| jazzy.jones.10004 chapter 7 . 12/27/2013
I love this story so far! I know you havent updated in a little while now but it would be so amazing if you did because you're a really good writer!
| Guest chapter 7 . 10/31/2013
i swear if udnt upate im gona tell my friends not to ever review ur shit again i swear(;
| ShadowYashi chapter 7 . 10/15/2013
Enjoying this story very much. I really wanna know what went down with Layla and Jordan though, I feel like Layla just got her feelings crushed.
| A Bitter Editor chapter 2 . 8/31/2013
This is meant to help, remember that. :D
On the characters, there is more detail put into the characters' looks than into their personalities. I know little more than the glaringly obvious about Camille, Jordan and Riley. Camille is the stoic anti-teen, Jordan is the wild party girl, and Riley is the popular womanizer—which doesn't feel realistic for the way things are going. It never works out between good-thing A and bad-thing B, ever. Which brings me to the girls...
On the relationships, Camille and Jordan have the obligatory friendship that services the story instead of simply being part of it. For instance, Camille does not do parties, drinking hook-ups or even steady dating but Jordan (seemingly) does all of the above, which puts them in a predicament because A) Jordan wants to live it up senior year, and B) she wants her best-friend-for-life with her. It isn't a problem exactly, but it is an overused way to stage a Meet Cute between the Official Couple. As a reader, I love when best friends have more in common than not. Riley's friendship is not as forced but it is typical.
The party was described similarly to others in the genre and it didn't feel special, like any place I would kiss someone I'd been secretly watching. As I imagined, once Camille got to the party, all the filler characters were forgotten. Often when the character are onscreen, the world is not. Meaning: I see two (or more) generic faces speaking to one another over a void of white-space, there is no color, depth, texture, etc.
Spelling, though, for the most part was on point. In the end, there were mix-ups, like “where” instead of “wear” but nothing more serious than that. And, obviously, that is easily fixed!
“All hell broke loose” and “suddenly” are phrases used to get a reader from point-A to point-B without painting written images.
Jordan and Mikey's relationship feels like necessity to the plot instead of an organic bumping of personalities and body parts.
| Nique13 chapter 7 . 8/13/2013
I enjoyed this.
| Angela chapter 7 . 7/13/2013
I love your story , Riley is so Funny and cute please post more!
| Guest chapter 7 . 5/16/2013
Keep em up. love the story
| Explicitly Simple chapter 7 . 4/22/2013
Progress! This chapter was great! It was just them in their own little world, which is so cute. Hopefully what Mickey said doesn't come back to bite Riley... Hard at least.
| Lovablebbw82 chapter 3 . 4/20/2013
Im loving the story...im enjoying the slow build up. Great job.
| Meagan Brett chapter 7 . 4/11/2013
This story is actually soooo good, I absolutely love and am totally recommending it to all my mates, please update soon ? :) great job !
| Guest chapter 3 . 4/11/2013
| leogina chapter 7 . 4/4/2013
Woukd I be too greedy to ask for an update...please!
| leogina chapter 4 . 4/4/2013
Camille knows she wants Riley! But I love how she plays hard to get...love love love this story!
| leogina chapter 3 . 4/4/2013
I am so glad I found this story...yay! I love Camille and Riley...please dont take this story down...I love it