Reviews for Rapunzel: Retold in a Feminist Way
Grencle chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
:-D I must say this is a very nice story. I'm really glad that it didn't end the traditional way and Rapunzel did something productive with her life :-D
if you're into strong female characters in fairytales, try watching Tangled :-D though it's a bit more traditional than your story, the lead female is pretty interesting :-D
Abbytjie chapter 1 . 6/29/2012
You overuse the name Rapunzel, when you should use she. For example: "After kidnapping Rapunzel the solider was afraid of being caught and left Rapunzel with an old woman that lived on the border of Southphilia." could've just been "After kidnapping Rapunzel the solider was afraid of being caught and left her with an old woman that lived on the border of Southphilia." using her name twice is unnecassary and sounds wrong.
The whole story is a little rushed, stuffing so many things into one chapter. There are also almost no real conversations. Everything is summarised. You could expand the whole story to make it more touching.
Other than that I like the different version of the story and your interpretation of it.
Isabella.Knight chapter 1 . 6/5/2012
Loveddd ittt! It was such an enjoyable read :)
PotoPerson chapter 1 . 6/4/2012
I like it. It's a different take on the story. I like the empowering message of it. One thing that's nitpicky but something I didn't even know because it was never told to me so I thought I'd pass it on. When you have a tag at the end of the quote, for example "Rapunzel said." and the quote ends with a period you change it to a comma

so..

"I want to go to school," Rapunzel said.

No tag, no comma.

That's all. And considering that's all I really had to nitpick at I'd say that means this story is pretty darn good if I do say so myself :)

Keep on writing! ;D
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 6/3/2012
I like that you went for a new angle on a fairytale here. I'm definitely all for female empowerment, and I think you had a nice message to share. However, I'm not sure it worked as well as you might think. Mostly because your Rapunzel character is absolutely perfect. From what you've shown readers, she has no flaws and always makes the right choice. She has a very static, two-dimensional personality. For me personally, this female representation is the exact opposite of "feminist", and it's actually rather degrading. Women are allowed to be imperfect. They're allowed to have issues, additions, vices. Without those things that give them color, they're less than human—they're pretty figures on a page.

In short, I like what you set out to do, I'm just not sure you accomplished that.

On a more technical note, I would like to see more "story" in this story. This read a lot like plot outline. You covered all the details but there was no real time spent in discovering how things were. It read like a summary of a larger book for me. Because of that I wasn't as invested in this as I could have been.
Perfectenpointe chapter 1 . 6/3/2012
I love this! :) What a great way of telling the story.