|Reviews for ClockWorks|
| Shinamori chapter 13 . 8/27/2012
Useful. Shall have something to write now.
| Shinamori chapter 11 . 8/23/2012
ClockWorks is a damn strong device. O.O Shall have trouble using it.
| Shinamori chapter 10 . 8/22/2012
Ooh... a new user. . Please consider putting mine inside when it's out. :D I'm working my best right now. And yeah, like you said, it's getting dark. Better put on some shades to make it darker. B)
| AgentHoiHoiSoi chapter 7 . 8/18/2012
Here is the depiction of Yuzu. A much calmer version. Or at least this is the depiction from me.
Also, once again. Thanks for the support everyone!
| Boomer Kid chapter 7 . 8/17/2012
Doh, I don't see much spoilers here (at least none that's so obvious). So no worries with the Omake.
Well, most comedies I've seen uses characters with fixed personalities. Very interesting that you want to get deeper into writing them! Maybe I was right about drama slowing building up.
Anyway... any ideas I can share... hmm...
Well, for details I have this little rule of thumb: Show more than tell. Show what your character is doing, rather than tell the details of why they are doing it or what they are thinking while doing it. Helps quite a bit to reduce the word count (if you want to), and gets readers to think a bit more and associate with the character. We readers like thinking.
Got a smart yet self-conscious character who studies lots? Just show him reading books in the library and him always going to the toilet to groom his hair or something. The way a character makes simple actions like how they eat, how they walk, their body language when doing trivial stuff, even how they groom themselves and dress up, all show and imply what sort of person this character is or how they are feeling right now, instead of us just telling the readers "This dude is smart, but today he's bored." Just a random idea out of the box there. p For clothes, you don't have to keep on describing them. We humans have a natural tendency to remember faces more. A monologue from one of your characters as to what they think of another character, or themselves, would also help.
Man, I wrote too much. Just some tips and ideas for you to think about.
I think the way you introduced Yuzu and Kenta, and even Azawa (sly little fellow) was quite good already. But again, if you want to add more details if you feel it's a little rushed, no problem. Do what feels right to you. Nice to see how you want to portray the ClockWorks. More drama coming right up? Hm hm hm hm! *that was the weird sound of muffled laughter from your truly*
Aah, I know that feeling of an author wanting to punch their own character. Whenever I write Tsunderes (I only wrote like... 2 in my life), I felt like smacking my head against a wall at times too. But all these anime/manga people love Tsundere, so what are we to do... Want to know my favorites? Yandere and Kuudere. Tied. D
Wooo. Long review. Can't believe I wrote this much. Anyway, I hope it helps!
| Boomer Kid chapter 6 . 8/16/2012
Yooo! Felt that I should leave another review.
Now… it looks like we have stumbled upon a grim situation. Cue ClockWorks adventure time? Go go go!
"Let me show you how to settle this like a real man!" Man... Man... Yuzu, you're a genius.
Looks like the comedy's died down a little bit to seemingly make way for more drama. It's these shifts in tone that comes in like a WHAM. It's good to rest a few jokes and save them for later.
Aand... I don't think I can come up with anything that helpful. Take your time writing! I'll be waiting for more!
| Daisy02 chapter 5 . 7/18/2012
I really like this story, Azawa is awesome! Please update as soon as you can! Looks like Yuzu got them into a little bit of a mess.
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/18/2012
I want see what happens next. I hope you can update soon!
| MySadistChibi chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
That was really interesting! :D Hope it will turn into a cool story in the next chapters!
| AgentHoiHoiSoi chapter 5 . 7/15/2012
Sorry for the really late update. Been quite busy lately and this document had been written half way up actually then I totally forgot about it till I checked my e-mail. In any case, thanks for all the support guys! It's encouraging to know people are reading my story. Hope you enjoy the chapters to come!
| Boomer Kid chapter 4 . 7/14/2012
Hey! Nice to finally see a fellow Malaysian here. Got to see your work from Sock's community, and really enjoying it so far!
Your writing is fun and easy to read, suitable for a K rating. *winks* Yuzu cracks me up, I am definitely considering on consulting her for philosophy, bwahahaha!
Well, can't be too serious when reviewing something intended as light and fun comedy. I guess other reviewers have pointed out the little technical stuff, so all I have to say is keep up the good work!
| headphones block white noise chapter 4 . 6/21/2012
This. Is. AMAZING! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! It's hilarious and cute! You are so amazing, I have only dreamed of stuff this awesome. I salute you, as do all of my imaginary friends!
| zZTaigaz chapter 2 . 6/12/2012
This story has got to be the best when it comes down for a good laugh.
What shocked me were the different items that Yuzu used to 'abuse' her guardian angel. I wondered to myself if she just grabbed all of this in thin air but my favorite had to be:
'He received a dictionary to the face.'
Since when did Yuzu own a dictionary? Does she know how to use it? (excluding the use of violence or physically breaking someone's face with the book) xDD
Continue on with this wonderful story!
| zZTaigaz chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
I really enjoyed this story. I found myself laughing at the humor in this chapter xD
Hope you continue and write!
| Sock my Rock chapter 4 . 6/9/2012
So many references to Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Maybe that's why I like your story so much the references, the jokes, and the characters. Slap stick humor to me is a shallow form of comedy, but I like the way you do it.
I'm glad that the readers get more of a sense of how ClockWorks works. I don't know why, but I have a feeling that Clockworks is something more sinister than it seems. Or that could just be paranoid me. In either case I really enjoy reading your story, and I hope you continue to write this fun story!