Reviews for yearning heart
Breaking Sad chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
Wow I really love your skill with writing ... and I totally understand you :3
MaddieD96 chapter 1 . 7/6/2012
Ahhhh...Nikki. I'll never understand what you see in him, I really won't.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/5/2012
This is beautiful. i have had a huge crush on my bestfriends olderbrothersince we were eight. He is fifteen and i'm twelve know he found out in march by mybestfriend kid of let her tounge but he was kind at saying he was so busy and everything. i really like you poem. I love to write but my shyness gets in the way.
The Halfblood Raven chapter 1 . 6/9/2012
Same for my former crush. Would you read my stories please?
Enemy Controller chapter 1 . 6/9/2012
I know that feeling and this poem is very nice. Keep up the excellent work.
ph1.0 chapter 1 . 6/9/2012
I feel your pain. But that's not the point.

My dear, diction is the life of poetry. The way you've written this makes it sound casual - prose with extra commas. Poetry is about choosing the words to make the largest impact.

For example, Langston Hughes wrote this poem:

The calm,

Cool face of the river

Asked me for a kiss.

This poem was titled Suicide's Note.

Think about what the words can imply. The first thing I'd think of is that this is a romanticised suicide note. But dig deeper, and you'll see that the title says "Suicide's", not 'suicide'. "Note" can be read as a musical note, so Suicide is personified to sing. Again, connect the idea of death to song, and you have the Sirens, creatures which lured sea-men to their deaths, and who can be connected to the word 'kiss' for being female 'demons'.

The web of subtly hidden meanings in the end will present you with a powerful poem.

So as I've elaborated a little above, choice of words in poetry can give works very strong impressions.

Personally, I remembered the 2 minutes my literature teacher spent on dissecting those three lines from three years ago, so I'd say that is a hugely successful work of art.

Work on your diction. You may be a budding poet yet. )

(Would you mind reviewing my one-shot, Nightmare in the Vast? Any criticism would be hugely appreciated.)