|Reviews for Anchor|
| Specificity chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
Huh. You have a singular and very interesting voice within your story. I really enjoyed the sheer sci-fi aspect that you created with this, and the intricate, weaving rules that belong solely to this. You tied everything together really well with the irony between the "five minutes to reorient yourself" rule and "anchors cannot be pilots" rule and then breaking and retaining both at the same time.
I especially liked how, in the end, Celia and Justin changed places. I thought it was really creative to have Justin act out the role of an anchor, even if that wasn't his assigned part. I'm kind of pissed off at him for not making it on time, though. He seems very apathetic the entire story. I understand that he experiences and showcases the amnesia associated with being a pilot, but even while sober, he seems distant, aloof. I suppose that characteristic could be accounted for in that it belongs to the work environment where you lose part of yourself every time you connect to a ship, and I can fully appreciate the circumstances, but even so, for Celia to claim that he told her he loved her and then felt guilty, hesitant and unsure about his proclamation, he shows none of his expressions here. I'm not sure if this was deliberate or just circumstantial, but either way, it adds an interesting dynamic to the story.
I'm really glad that I got to read this: you pose a thought; a glimpse into another possibility; that I had never thought about - have never thought to think about.
What I suggest you work on in your writing ventures is punctuation and character phrasing. Every now and then you miss the placement of a comma - for example, in your summary. Instead of just periods and question marks, add some kind of liveliness to your story by presenting punctuation indicative of scene and character dynamic within the time. Make things that are shocking stand out. Force the reader to put lyrical phrasing into what they're reading - some kind of emotion that they aren't imagining on their own. Similarly, character phrasing can help to identify a scene or connect more fully to a character, whether it be Celia, Justin, Sandy or Mary. Whoever you focus on is who you want to make walk off the page; be so tangible that it appeals to the reader's senses.
Either way, good job on what you've done. You made me think.
Thanks for the read,