Reviews for Ritual Girl
RunningwithShadows chapter 1 . 11/8/2012
This is a really good start! There's just enough mystery and explanation that pulls the reader in and hooks them. And your writing is very good. The concept kind of reminds me of The Giver a little bit. Anyway, I'd love to see where this goes! Happy writing!

E
thestoryreader chapter 26 . 11/8/2012
Oh, I read the last chapter, just that I felt too awkward to review it after reading it...Ahem. Sorry.
I like this chapter. I'm actually eating bread as I write this, but whatever. I love the mystery with that piece of paper, and how Paige is thinking about all the what-ifs of her life. Great work, keep it up!
What.If.Nobody chapter 24 . 11/5/2012
. - Not logged in.

Yay, a kiss for Mott! Oh, but now I'm intrigued about what that paper was! Argh, you are too good at cliff hangers. :( Update soon!

Nobody
ChuckyDoll chapter 24 . 11/4/2012
Nice chapter! What's in the paper?
thestoryreader chapter 24 . 11/4/2012
wooohoo! It's up! I love this chapter. I like the souvenir and the kiss at the end, though I'm not a fan of romance.
The sociologist's back-story is being revealed! YES!
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Guest chapter 23 . 10/28/2012
This is still better than most of the dystopian fiction created in the last few years. You seem to really know what you're doing. I really enjoy the lack of love triangle, I fell like they normally take away from the power of the story. You have good, strong characters who act in very realistic ways. For the first time in years I support a "cannon" couple. I absolutely love when I come across a pearl like this!
Mystic Nite chapter 23 . 10/24/2012
Wow just read the new chapter, nice trick with using the name as a motif it makes the who thing seem inevitable ( sorry techniqual stuff again lol please feel free to tell me to shut up) anyway like I said really good chapter I'll look foreward to the next one :) MN
BareFootSummer chapter 1 . 10/20/2012
I LOVE THIS! It's absolutely perfect! Your writing skill... I personally envy it! You need to come off this little computer and show your talent to the world!
What.If.Nobody.Hears chapter 23 . 10/20/2012
Ooh, they have the same name! Makes sense, I guess.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Nobody
Coralline Slayer chapter 12 . 10/20/2012
I haven't even finished your story yet it's already beautiful. Absolutly beautiful. The story's great, the main character is likeable, and I'm pretty sure an epic twist is coming up about the Queen and this equal way of life in general. Overall, a very thought provoking story. I hope you plan to get it published.
-C'S'xxx
thestoryreader chapter 23 . 10/20/2012
Oh, I know that feeling too well - the person you hate has the same name as you. My teacher has the same name as me and it's just; argh!
Paige's anger at the sociologist was completely understandable. I actually got mad at the sociologist too.
It's going to be very confusing - two Paige's, both were/are Ritual Girls, both wanting to be able to have emotion. I'll just refer to the first Paige as 'the sociologist' to prevent myself from exploding in confusion XD.
I didn't see much of the sociologist's background, but I like Paige's thoughts on what must have driven the sociologist not to take the pills.
-
"Murderous people who would rather starve if it meant they could fall in love."
I love that wry observation of sociologists. It's technically true, isn't it?
Keep this up!
(PS: I'm stalking the Facebook page. :D)
What.If.Nobody.Hears chapter 22 . 10/19/2012
I read through your story, and I really like it! It's taken an interesting turn from where I thought it would go at first and I'm eager to see what happens next. I also really like your new cover for the story.

Keep up the great work!

Nobody
Guest chapter 22 . 9/28/2012
The Queen's agreement added a twist, for sure. Wow, this will be a real book? I can't wait to buy it!
ChuckyDoll chapter 22 . 9/28/2012
Why do I find myself agreeing a bit more with Paige? Seriously...

Ditto to readwritereview ...
thestoryreader chapter 22 . 9/28/2012
I've wondered, as I read both the Giver and the previous parts of this story, why people cannot just live without feelings. Theoretically speaking, we would not be able to miss feelings and freedom of choice if we've never had them. But for some strange reason, we want them despite them causing us so much trouble.
No matter how perfect something is, there's always a kid out there who wants trouble and pain and love and fear. It takes just this one idiot to bring the world tumbling down again...
(The world Paige lives in is actually pretty awesome except for the yearly sacrifice, isn't it? Sometimes I won't mind living there. Having no choice is quite good, because when I have choice, I always choose to do the wrong thing.)
I like the conflict between Paige and Zara; how Paige has no idea why the heck Zara and Queen Moira would want to "destroy the community", and how Zara thinks that they're not destroying it, but making it better. And how Paige thought that what Zara says is ridiculous, but upon thinking about Mott, decided that Zara might be right.
It's understandable that Paige would be frustrated. I'd be quite angry, too, if I were in her place.
Keep this up! You're more than halfway to 50 000 words, which is the NaNoWriMo target, if I'm not wrong.
I love this :D
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